


Thirst

by Zeds_Dead



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Crushes, Dreams, Eventual Relationships, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, On Hiatus, Shyness, Slow Build, Younger Eruri, eruri - Freeform, mentions of eating disorders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-09-12 15:57:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 62,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9079507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/pseuds/Zeds_Dead
Summary: To see someone every day was fine, didn't usually end in increased heart rates and ridiculously painful shyness. But when the person you saw on a regular basis was the one you admired and dreamt about...that's when it became awkward. How long did they say it was before a crush turned into love? Levi couldn't remember. All he knew was that he was incapable of stopping thinking about the tall blonde on his delivery route, a man he surely had no chance of dating, a man he was becoming consumed by with every passing minute.





	1. Hesitation

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Yes, I know I have seven fics on the go but this would not leave me alone. I needed some awkward and fluffy Eruri it seems! Hope you enjoy the first chapter and as always, comments are graciously received :)

The dusty summer was well under way, dry paths kicking up clouds of dirt with each foot step as eight in the morning threatened to burn and destroy even at this early hour. A shower had evidently been a useless activity upon waking, long raven hair sticking to a now filth encrusted forehead and Levi tutted, sweeping his locks away to resemble some kind of fifties throwback. His black cargo shorts were frayed and fell to just below the knees, the matching coloured tee feeling uncomfortably tight on his skin and battered white sneakers finished off his usual clothing, the start of a working day taking him to familiar places once again.

The young man was part of the scenery now, his job sending him around town in a regular route which those he visited could bank on, each destination reached on time like clockwork. Despite seeing the same people day in day out, Levi rarely spoke to them much, preferred to maintain his distance regardless of whether they seemed to be perfectly acceptable human beings or not - a self-prescribed wall had been built in his teens, a defence mechanism of sorts and he mostly liked it that way. Alone, free from any social obligation and forgotten.

His battered push bike travelled the memorised journey, strong legs pumping at pedals and cargo safely secured to the back whilst morning commuters were sped past, fast pace necessary to reach all goals in the allotted frame. The weather didn't help his sweaty appearance, served to exacerbate fatigue but he pushed on, building up momentum until his calves burned and lungs screamed. A faint breeze was attained at least, beads of moisture acting as intended and Levi allowed himself his normal hobby; the daily introspection.

At twenty three years of age, he really didn't expect much more from life - a shitty delivery job which paid a pittance, tiny studio apartment that was barely affordable and a distinctly solitary existence, all standard characteristics of an angsty shut-in who didn't do well with company. Of course the shell was practised and honed to perfection, a seed of loneliness growing inside even his cool exterior, however past experience dictated this way of living. Pushed out of the family home by a homophobic uncle, flunked school life still a thorn in his side, Levi wore the uniform of a doomed individual, a person who would likely end up on the streets or engulfed by hatred, yet he refused to give in to the stereotype, fought onwards with remarkable passion and the reason was simple. He actually wanted to be someone.

Tyres hurried round a corner, shared pedestrian space entered which meant deeper concentration was needed and Levi's mind cleared, figures avoided deftly as years of biking came in handy - his employers had commented on this skill, kept him on and offered overtime as no one could ever come close to completing his round in the same short span. Sure, he had the margin to take it easy, relent a little, but the sooner this was over, the sooner he could get back to what he truly considered to be important.

First up was an office block, package handed to the security guard at the revolving glass door with a nod. Levi didn't even bother to dismount, propping himself up on one foot as a signature was obtained and a curt farewell shared, burly man watching as the lithe male shot away into the distance, rubber swishing across hot concrete slabs in a steady rhythmic soundtrack. It was a noise which gave the courier solace, his own music to dance to and he enjoyed the thrumming beat, a satisfying type of proof which solidified his place in the universe and provided a sense of being.

Brakes screeched, second customer visited and a few perfunctory words were swapped, silver eyes staying down as a brief meaningless conversation was held around the despicable heat, pleasantries given without feeling. This was how it went though, some grunts and agreements thrown in to the mix and soon Levi was on his way again, own blood making a tribal pulse inside his head. The job was hard physical work, endurance serving to keep him in shape and build muscles if nothing else and the flushed man took in gulps of humid air, damp atmosphere unsatisfying.

By the time the sixth venue was reached he'd had to dismount, shopping square fully for those on their feet and Levi took the chance to calm somewhat, heart slowing only slightly as he checked himself. It was ridiculous, a ritual born from childish feelings, ones which would never come to fruition yet he did it all the same, wheeled his ride slowly whilst wiping away what he could with a small handkerchief, any collected dirt or shine banished from his face in a swift sweep. His hair would have to do as it was, still slicked back but now it seemed intentional, less of a requirement and he took a deep breath, steadying frayed nerves and trying to ignore clammy palms.

Levi's stomach knotted, chest swelled with adrenaline and he mumbled quietly as he joined the back of the queue. This area was filled with small booths, each one identical yet selling something different - food, drinks, souvenirs, newspapers and sunglasses, everything a busy crowd could need when passing through on their morning travels. The particular one which was most popular happened to be the place he lined up at, easily seven souls before him but it gave a chance to catch a glimpse of what caused this regular excitement.

Behind the kiosk in question stood a man, tall in stature and broad shouldered, the sun having kissed his flesh regularly to bathe skin in bronze tones, hues that combined perfectly with the blonde flash of hair upon his head. A white branded shirt sat on his frame, ever so slightly too tight, each stretch and turn pulling fabric beautifully across a likely toned body and Levi felt the flush reach usually pale cheeks again, grey eyes trained studiously on the object of his desire. From his place at the back he could do all the staring he liked, commit every feature to memory and emblazon this handsome member of society onto his starved brain without being seen.

Incredible cobalt shimmered in the dense warmth, kindly smile offered to the current customer and seven became six, drinks served swiftly by talented tanned hands. Levi gaped, unaware of his slack jaw as the background melded into a blur, the only thing still holding clarity about two metres away and standing strong, way too big for such a tiny working space but that fact didn't matter; nothing could sully this vision, perfection embodied and the shorter male's feet shuffled forwards automatically, proximity gained with each transaction and he started to panic.

_What am I going to say? I have to think of a subject better than that shit last week. Did I actually talk to him about ants? Fuck. Stay cool._

Never in his life had one person appeared so enthralling, a major crush having hit Levi hard over the past couple of months and he reddened further, such a ridiculous thing for an adult to be experiencing, surely.

_Get it together. Get your fucking shit together. You're next._

As the woman collected her goods, Levi's admittedly ideal man nodded in thanks and set his lively blue eyes on wide steel ones, saw fear along with a vacant expression and the server bit the inside of his cheek, waiting for the other to open his mouth and speak. But he didn't. For an uncomfortable five seconds the two simply stared, one having all words stuck in his throat as life collapsed around him, the power of vocabulary a distant ally and Levi snapped to attention suddenly, the intense gaze from above practically reading his mind and finding out all the thoughts he'd had, all the inappropriate daydreams and fantasies…he had to say something.

"I…I…"

"Thirsty?"

"Huh?"

"You, um. You look thirsty. Hot. I mean, from the weather." The taller man was apparently just as bad at this today, back of his neck scratched awkwardly and he gave a small laugh, glass bottle of flavoured water brought from the miniscule fridge unit. "Here."

"I don't have any money."

"It's on me. Seriously, you look finished and it's not even nine o'clock. You should take it easy."

Levi felt the cold hard substance under his fingers as it was passed over, warm digits also brushing against his and he stammered an incoherent thanks, cap released and head thrown back gratefully to gulp down the icy liquid. It meant he didn't need to converse, swallows deep and languid and the courier drew it out, mind whirring with how to move this on and not look like a total prick, wondering how it had gotten to this. At first they hadn't spoken really, just exchanged few words but as time went on, if there was the opportunity, actual chats took place, ones which often got cut short by customers and he realised something - they didn't even know one another's names.

_But why would we? I'm here perving over this guy who probably thinks I'm a complete weirdo. He's got to be married or in a relationship by now, what am I doing?_

The longest drink in history carried on, nearing it's end and the blonde could do nothing but watch as the exposed neck before him bobbed, such delicious movements which did a variety of things to his heart, not to mention his pants.

_Stop it, Erwin. Grow up. You're not a hormonal teen anymore. He'd never be interested in you anyway, total opposites._

Reluctantly, Levi placed the bottle down and gasped for air, wet sounding thanks given and he looked to the ground, unsure what should happen next. Distressed silence ensued as pale fingers fiddled with the handlebars of his bike, shy personality trait in full flow. No one else had approached, the lull between workers and shoppers giving a break in activity and Levi kicked an errant pebble, small stone bouncing off the booth with a clunk.

"Shit, sorry."

"That's ok. Needs painting anyway."

"Mmm."

Erwin turned, adjusted something on his coffee machine that really didn't need to be moved and he smiled to himself, put this down to one of those days and thought no more on the matter, back in professional mode as he faced forwards again and spoke.

"So…did you have a delivery for me?"

"What?"

"A delivery?"

"Oh. Right. Yea."

Deft hands retrieved the purpose of his visit, smaller man cursing internally at the stupidity of his actions and a box was presented along with his clipboard, pen shaking in his grip uncontrollably. Why was it so hard today? The weekend seemed to have caused something of a void inside of him, time apart from this person making him empty and the sensation manifested in horrifically stunted behaviour, paper taken quickly to get out of the situation and away from pure embarrassment.

"Thank you."

"No problem." Levi glanced at the white sheet, saw a signature which gave no clue as to the owner's name and he huffed once, large crate clipped shut and ready to go. "I'll see you, then. Thanks for the drink."

"My pleasure. Don't work too hard."

"Tch. Not a chance."

"No rest for the wicked, eh?"

"Something like that."

Hands were raised in farewell as they parted, black haired individual marching away into the sunny town with purpose and Erwin sighed, head shaken slowly and voice low.

"Well, that could have gone better."

By the time Levi finished his rounds, lunch had been and gone, early afternoon even more unbearable and he walked slowly, bike pushed with a lazy grip as hunger and fatigue kicked in, steps retraced to return to the depot and give his employer the manifests, proof of receipt an important part of this job. He'd studied one particular squiggle as he did every time, convincing himself that the person he thought of more than was truly necessary had an indecipherable name, one that he may never know.

Once home was reached, the drapes were still pulled shut so a kind of cooler sanctuary was achieved, dark apartment full of objects and belongings that he had no space to store but Levi was used to it now, piles of his life covering every available surface and he got to work, quick sandwich munched whilst flicking through his reference book. As usual, a specific design would stand out and the young man set about making it real, trained hands moulding and precise tools shaping, adding another piece to his collection which would be taken to sell at the evening market. Luckily he knew someone at the nearby university, a friend who would let him use the equipment free of charge and after two hours of frowning and concentration, it was ready to go, delicate clay figure wrapped in damp cloth and stashed safely in a backpack.

Sometimes his sculptures sold, sometimes they didn't - it wasn't just a supplement to his income though. This was Levi's dream, his desire, the thing which kept him going through tough times and lonely nights, a hobby that he would never say goodbye to as long as it could be continued. Mostly all the money he made from this went back into buying supplies, a circle of life that provided a break from reality, a necessity. There was no end goal in sight, no delusions of success, just pure escapism and Levi knocked on the trade door, call having been made earlier to ensure entry and he held his bag carefully, newest product cradled like a newborn.

"Alright, Levi?"

"Hi Mike. Is it free?"

"Yea, everyone's gone. Come in."

The huge man checked the empty yard for anyone watching and closed up behind them, narrow halls taken to reach the kiln room, an electric beast of a machine already fired up and at optimum temperature. Mike watched as his high school friend brought out the latest creation, stained pot also revealed and delicate brush strokes applied a signature glaze, a mixture of ingredients that would produce an inimitable shiny combination of copper red and bluish greens. Levi never knew which colour would prevail, it was in the lap of the gods and he slid the statue in, eyes screwed almost shut against the furnace's heat.

"Three hours, I reckon."

"Probably." Staring from behind dirty blonde hair, the taller male peered through smeared glass and examined the small humanoid currently being baked, a masculine form on his knees, head in hands. "Can't you make happy stuff, Levi?"

"Why? You know I'm consumed by hatred and loathing."

"Yea, whatever." Mike smiled, noted the tiny smirk on his comrade's face as stains were wiped away from porcelain palms, clay picked out of nails and they settled down, old shaky stools their home for the next few hours. Beers were produced from nowhere, constant supply hidden everywhere in this educational establishment it seemed and the pair drank slowly, a cigarette shared to keep costs down.

"How's it all going anyway, Mike?"

"Can't complain. One more year left." His major was fine art, portraits and landscapes which held a photographic quality, subjects that could have been real and Levi saw the splashes of paint on his friend's tee, the sure sign of a student in this field but he also noticed a pained expression, white stick passed over for his turn as Mike spoke again. "Why didn't you apply to come here?"

"Not this again." Levi dragged on the smoke, blowing clouds out with an exaggerated sigh and he pointed over. "I told you. I can't afford the fees. And even if I could, I'd still end up in a fucking shitty job, doing this in my free time."

"Oh thanks! So I won't amount to anything, then?"

"That's not what I meant, Mike. You know that."

He did know. Levi had a habit of going all in when the mood took him, working endlessly on one particular subject yet his attention span often waned, disgust at his own skills making him give up often so no reliable output would ever be achieved. That kind of mentality pointed towards difficulty in maintaining an income, something which they were both aware of and they sat in contemplation for a while, thoughts quiet and deep.

~~~~~~

Levi laid his blanket down, dusk falling and the evening market starting to pick up - Monday was always slow, however the clement weather brought more people out, crowds enjoying a balmy end to the day with alcohol and trinkets. Food was sold alongside crafts, locals showing their wares and hoping for a good turnover - most had stalls, proper stands to display items but the blue fabric was all Levi owned for this, ten sculptures lying on his canvas and he sat cross-legged beside it, ready to endure an uncomfortable night.

The long day had been stretched to it's limit, now sparse shoppers milling about and Levi called time, two sales made which put a bit of money in his pocket at least. Everything was packed away in protective wraps, large case dragged slowly across uneven paving on the journey home and he came to the deserted pedestrian area, all booths closed until morning. One stood out, the blonde man's place of work and silver eyes glared at the small chip missing out of dark brown paint, the result of his wayward pebble. Paler wood looked back at him, a tiny imperfection which angered his mind to think he'd been responsible for such a mark - the more he stared, the bigger it seemed and he swore softly, expletive heard by no one else and Levi continued to his apartment, the bright hole laying stark in his troubled thoughts.

 


	2. Inelegant Liaisons

Handmade pastries and savoury slices were arranged carefully, sandwiches and filled rolls placed on ornate plates alongside cookies which had all been baked and assembled at the ass crack of dawn this morning, but Erwin didn't mind. He enjoyed his job, being his own boss, even if it was in such cramped conditions. One day, he thought. One day his empire would grow and the tiny booth could be left behind for good. As he rolled up the shutter, the blonde sighed at the double edged sword he'd just imagined - to leave this would also mean leaving a certain daily visitor, one whom had been on the extreme side of shy yesterday.

"I didn't do much to help though."

It would be different today, he knew it, his excitement already building at seven o'clock and as the first stream of customers began to gravitate towards his kiosk, Erwin whistled and hopped from foot to foot, unsure exactly why he felt so assured all of a sudden.

By nine all of his enthusiasm had dissipated, a dead heavy sensation in the pit of his stomach now taking up residence as there was still no sign of his favourite courier, a man who could lift his soul just by existing. He made a small noise of annoyance at himself, changed the filter on his coffee machine and pondered what exactly it was that he expected from life, a soon to be twenty nine year old standing in a shack and making up stories in his head about someone he barely knew. The first time he'd gazed upon on the younger male, Erwin knew there was something about him; the eyes, the awkward small talk, the petite yet strong frame…if he was honest, a part of him wanted to protect the ravenette, scoop him up and protect that one person from something he didn't fully understand, surely a laughable mindset but he couldn't shake it.

Minutes passed by, stretched out painfully with languid seconds and Erwin busied himself on tasks which didn't need to be done, ending up on his knees to rearrange paper napkins and disposable wooden spoons, all natural products chosen specifically for their biodegradable features. He spotted a stray, something that belonged elsewhere and with difficulty, fingers brushed against the intruder, flicking and spinning as his arm disappeared into the depths of his built-in storage.

"Oi. You hiding?"

Erwin jumped at the familiar voice, cracking his head on the shelf above and yelping before he could stop the wounded sound from escaping his lips. Straightening up, he looked sheepishly across the counter, rubbing his abused skull with a half smile and locking onto an initially amused stare, one which turned to apology and an unexpected motherly fuss after his greeting.

"Hey…"

"No, don't 'hey' me. Are you hurt? What were you fucking doing down there?" Levi felt terrible to have been the reason for such a blow and reached over, forgetting where he was entirely as he stood on tiptoes, hand grabbing and pulling a bit too fervently at the muscular arm in front. "Let me see."

"It's ok, honestly. You don't have to…"

"Quit wriggling and let me look!"

Erwin resisted but without much energy, the feeling of flesh on his skin causing sparks of exhilaration and he slowly lowered his head, bending forwards to present what was literally just a small bump. Levi realised the grip he had was on the intrusive side and let go, leant in close and tried to stifle the rising butterflies which threatened to burst forth from his stomach, the manly smell of masculine shampoo and faint sweat doing nothing to help the nervous thrill. The shorter male hummed as if inspecting the injured area, stopped himself from running fingers through golden hair and stepped back, arms crossed as he looked off to one side.

"See? I'm fine."

Erwin spoke in an overly cheery tone, shirt smoothed down and items organised so that he looked busy - in reality, he was trying not to blush and clamped his tongue between sharp teeth, all effort put towards remaining a normal colour. Levi missed the display, own methods employed to not seem like a possessive idiot and he glanced down, the paint chip staring back up taunting with it's vivid white.

"Yea…ok." The courier stiffened, annoyance building so he reached for his bike, small parcel likely containing documents presented for delivery. "Here. Just that one today."

"Thanks."

"What is all of this shit, anyway?"

Erwin smiled, good natured mischief oozing from his pores and he hunched over the hatch, pen held aloft in defeat.

"You got me." The dark haired man scowled, unable to compute what this new playful side was all about, however his breathing became faster, chest hot with a strange nausea as the blonde got closer still, final answer given in hushed tones. "I'm actually a dangerous hitman. These are my instructions."

Levi froze, not believing a word yet still a confused mess in the face of such behaviour - he could laugh sarcastically, call the guy out on how stupid he sounded or make some comment on the tiny white apron and how it would look shit with a gun, but he didn't want to be a prick, refused to act like he usually would so took a few moments to gather a counter response.

Meanwhile, over what felt like a week of silence, Erwin hoped his joke had gone down well, idiotic sense of humour laced with his simple brand of flirting; it seemed like the worst idea in the world now, but he'd committed and would see it through, the sudden joy at seeing the person he'd convinced himself would not appear manifesting in downright awful pick-up lines. Keeping up position, the blonde maintained eye contact and watched as a flicker of a smirk danced on thin and inviting lips, a gesture which made them seem fuller and all the more desirable as he waited to see what the man with the piercing gaze would say.

"I'll remember that. Always good to know."

All Erwin could do was laugh and sign the paper, scribble swirling and ending with a flourish, totally unnecessary but fun all the same - his father always said you could tell a lot about someone by their handshake and signature alike. Leaving the ink with a dramatic dot to seal the deal, he sighed deeply and started operation small talk, no customers waiting in the heavy morning air as a large hand was placed palm down on the counter in an attempt to look casual.

"So, you have many more deliveries to make today? It must be awful riding around in this heat all week."

Levi nodded, eyes flicking towards his act of vandalism, the spot growing wider in his vision and taunting him, a physical reminder of one stupid kick that bothered the pale man greatly, so much so that his reply was mumbled and half assed.

"Yea, it's not the easiest job…"

Erwin flicked at the pen he still held, took the uninspired response as boredom or a reason to leave and his heart sank, face dropping in tandem so he passed the plastic item across, his own signal to end the discussion.

"Well, I'm sure you're busy…"

Grey slits snapped up, keen ears noticing the sullen way in which he was addressed and Levi flapped internally; should he go? Is that what the other wanted? Of course it was, why wouldn't it be? He couldn't just stand here all day even if he did desire to do so. That would be downright creepy.

"Thanks."

A fumbled exchange took place, writing tool slipping between their equally nervous hands and they both overreacted, treating the pen as if it were a precious gem and scrabbling to catch the falling treasure, expressions shocked and tense. Small squeaks accompanied the short and wholly uncalled for struggle, the two men bending in at the same moment to catch their goal which resulted in a clash of heads, tiny click denoting they'd failed in their quest and surprised cries punctuating the bump.

"Fuck…sorry."

Levi rubbed the spot of assault, finger tips brushing carefully across skin that he vaguely never wanted to wash again, the imprint of another stamped deep and he had to stifle a whimper, so starved of physical contact that he treated it as something of a hug. Erwin grinned with awkwardness, sheepish expression painting him as a bashful teen and Levi could easily have melted into a puddle there and then, his crush looking like the most adorable embodiment of sweetness and the courier gave a fretful laugh, one sound to hopefully bring him back to reality.

"That's ok. No one to blame. Two knocks to the head in one day though, I'll be looking for compensation!"

As soon as the words left Erwin's lips he regretted them, a thinly veiled threat surely and he clenched instinctively, hating his version of 'getting to know you'. Thankfully, the response he received was most unexpected, a sentence that would play on his mind for a long time to come.

"I'll have to think of a suitable way to compensate you then."

The wince was visible but not so much that Erwin noticed, flush on pale cheeks explained away as due to the hot weather by a sweeping hand through ebony locks and Levi took a step back, cursing himself for such an horrific display of flirting. He didn't even know where the porno voice had come from, a thick and rich tone he had no idea lay within his vocal chords so to save any further embarrassment, he took one last look down at the missing paint and nodded as his acquaintance spoke.

"See you tomorrow?"

"I have the day off."

"Oh. Ok. See you another time?"

"Sure."

Levi pushed his bike away, whole body on fire with shame and he muttered quietly.

"Compensate you? What the fuck? I might as well have opened my mouth and dropped to my fucking knees."

Erwin watched as lithe legs powered into the distance, his adrenaline levels still at a peak and he wiped sweaty palms on the small apron, trying to calm down and stop thinking about how he would love to run his touch across those limbs, adore and worship them, feel them curl and grip around his waist…

"Enough. You've got all day stuck here, that's hard enough without this kind of torture."

Despite his admonishment, Erwin found himself on the same line of thought until closing time, images of a certain male springing up with every passing second and it consumed him, caused silly little mistakes and more than a handful of clumsy incidents. The close quarters didn't help, however his ability to knock into everything seemed to be magnified when dreaming of someone he could never have - he'd convinced his brain that they were too different, miles apart and surely opposites just based on the short discourses shared, but that comment…was that an invitation? A way to express interest?

"No. No it wasn't. Stop being stupid."

Erwin closed up, the early evening sun still burning bright and he gathered the left over goods, carefully packing them away and locking the shutter, another day done. The large man whistled uselessly as he took a short walk to the local food bank, unsold items donated to be put to good use apart from one slice of cake, something which had a different destination in mind. Another quick journey and Erwin arrived at a single storey apartment block, one with keycard entry and he swiped the plastic badge, beeps allowing him in and corridors taken. This was his daily trip, a route never deviated from and he reached the right door, letting himself in quietly so as not to disturb the resident.

An old man sat upright in a high backed chair, television bumbling away in the distance and Erwin peered over, unsure if this was sleep or relaxation and he placed the tub down gently, his 'famous' carrot cake safely interred within as he crept forwards, eyes narrowed to help his vision in the darkened room.

"Are you trying to sneak up on me again?"

Erwin jumped, hand raised to his chest in a show of fright and he laughed, pulled the drapes open to let the setting sun bathe his father's home with kind rays.

"Don't scare me like that, dad. I though you were asleep."

"In this uncomfortable chair? No chance."

Regardless of his appearance and living accommodation, Erwin's father was still quite sprightly for his age, bouncing up to put the kettle on and eyeing the treat he'd been graced with, conversation continued as his son arranged cushions on the couch, getting it ready for their usual chat over a cuppa and dessert. He was lucky to have such a loyal child, someone he could always depend on but it didn't stop him worrying.

And with that in mind, they sat on the overstuffed sofa and relaxed, the eldest's voice soft and only vaguely chiding.

"So, either you put on weight or you really need new shirts, Erwin."

"Dad!" Erwin straightened, pulled at the snug fabric and breathed in, his size nothing to do with overeating, merely a slight obsessive fanaticism when it came to gym equipment. His father continued, clearly enjoying himself.

"Well from this angle I can practically see your nipples, son. You must have all the boys flocking around."

"Seriously?" He blushed and concentrated on cake instead, chuckles sounding out by his side that he knew were good natured. A seriously belated talk about 'the birds and the bees' had occurred at age 21, Erwin's distress not coming from explaining any sexual preferences but pointing out that his virginity was long gone. It had been an odd chat, the admittance met by a stern point of a finger and instructions given around how not to be taken for the proverbial ride, watch out for heart breakers and pick partners carefully - after the passing of his mother at a young age, Erwin depended on his father for everything including relationship advice it seemed and now was no different.

"Listen Erwin. I want to see you happy."

"I am ha…"

"I know you like what you do as a job, building your business up from scratch. But son, don't forget to leave room for love."

"Jesus…" Feeling like a teenager, Erwin shook his head and finished the tea, sweet liquid burning slightly as he'd downed it too fast. "Do you think I have time for that? I'll leave here in what, half an hour and go home to bake until I pass out, up at four to carry on? How does that leave room for anything else?"

"Don't be married to your work." It was a grave statement, one which ran deeper than just simple words and the pair sat in silence to digest what had been said, the older male's own mistakes used now as a warning. "Anyway. Enough of my miserable ramblings. You'd better be going if you have those delicious croissants to bake."

"But…"

"No buts, Erwin. I can take care of myself, you need more hours in the day." He'd been forty when Erwin was born, family started later due to his career and the aging man stood, hands on knees to ease his nagging pain as he rose with a sigh, gesturing to the door. "Go on. Go. Create fantastic culinary experiences for your customers. They do say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Yea, they do."

The two shared a smile and a tight hug, backs patted as always and Erwin's father delivered his final line on the matter.

"I'm proud of you, son. You'll make a fantastic husband one day, I know it."

"Thanks dad. Maybe for now I'll concentrate on getting out of that damn booth. I swear it's giving me back problems."

"Stop eating all the produce then. It'll seem smaller."

Erwin stepped away, mock anger on his face and he couldn't keep the laughter inside, deep and hearty sound showing no hard feelings before he left. After correct farewells were given, the tall blonde journeyed home, a spring to his step and plans to invest in a new set of work shirts soon. His regular routine continued, pots and pans strewn around the compact kitchen and batter spotted over his floral apron, a gift from a well-meaning relative that he'd actually grown fond of, music blaring to keep him awake. The neighbouring apartments never complained about his late night activities, perhaps due to being supplied with any extra pastries and sweets so he carried on as usual, singing along badly and splattering his surroundings in rainbows of ingredients.

Given the small amount of extra time today, Erwin took pity on himself and finished up at a respectable hour, surfaces returned to their almost pristine condition and items stashed safely before making for the second bedroom - it was a space he didn't really need but paid the extra rent to have, various machines lined up and he chose the treadmill this evening, loose tee and shorts a fitting outfit and as his sneakers pounded on the moving surface, Erwin allowed some time to think.

It didn't go well. Lungs heaved, sweat gathered in clusters across his brow and muscles burned, all standard stuff however he hadn't banked on the dark realisation which now lay heavy upon him, seemed to slow his legs and turn them to steel - no visit from his delivery man tomorrow. He had a day off. He never had a day off. Was that a lie? A way to avoid seeing the giant klutz again? Erwin increased the speed, ran until he couldn't take any more but carried on anyway, trying to erase self doubt with an intense workout. He pushed onwards, face the picture of extreme stamina and his gasps for breath rang throughout the apartment, grunts of effort doing nothing to eliminate the morose thoughts etched on his soul so he gave up, called time and walked panting to take a shower.

~~~~~~

Dark-circled eyes stared back in the reflection, bags which would take some fixing and Erwin sighed, pulling and stretching his skin this way and that as he examined his image. He knew he wasn't exactly old but the lines he wore were obvious and the more he looked, the worst they became - not enough sleep and too much stress, that was the problem and the man exhaled harshly, off to hunt down the used teabags he'd placed in the fridge to help combat his puffiness.

Once the depressing morning actions were finished, Erwin loaded his small cart with today's offerings, addition of a crate containing a new drink to try stowed at the bottom and the glass bottles rattled, reminding him that the one person he had ordered this for wouldn't even get to sample it - the courier had often graciously refused coffee, preferring tea but not in this 'hot ass weather' so Erwin decided to see how a chilled version would go down.

_I could leave it in the fridge for tomorrow? Hope he turns up? Maybe that was it. His last time. But what about the comment? I'm sure that was suggestive. Or am I just that into someone I don't even know anymore?_

He huffed loudly, starting the trip down town to his workplace with a sorrowful disposition, only seven AM and already stifling outside. Suddenly conscious of his shirt, Erwin shuffled and wriggled the whole way, adjusted and shrugged, leaving it eventually as a lost cause and he entered the pedestrian area, keys in one hand and cart in the other, shoulders slumped as surely a long day awaited him.

_I'll probably end up with damp patches under my arms in this heat. Brilliant._

Erwin grew even more melancholy, a feeling which he couldn't shake as it had become imbedded in his psyche now, well and truly upset and small wheels rumbled across paving, iced tea clunking in time to the bumps and he passed the last shack before his, rounding the wooden kiosk to bring the correct one into view...

And that's when Erwin froze. His skin broke out in a cold sensation, hair rising as if he'd just heard the most beautiful piece of music and wide blue eyes couldn't quite believe what they were seeing. 


	3. Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am slightly consumed by this fic...

It had taken him a fair amount of pleading, promises made to do a double shift tomorrow and Levi had finally won his employers over, the man's efficiency making for a sturdy argument and he'd triumphed, got the day off as stated and was putting it to good use. He was accustomed to early starts but perhaps not this early and he rubbed at tired eyes, bike wheeled slowly through the abandoned town, a different kind of cargo on board today. Last night, after selling exactly zero items at the market, he'd passed through the booths as usual and glared towards that same spot again, however now he could make amends at least.

At half six in the morning one could be forgiven for thinking the day might turn into a pleasant one, the last flecks of dew still hanging on to pristine blades of grass and bright flowers, blooms which sat in their baskets high above on lamp posts, moisture glistening in pretty flashes of mother nature's waking routine. But Levi knew that in no time at all the temperature would rise, forecast telling of an even hotter experience than recent days and he reached the intended destination, bike set down carefully and tools sourced.

His blanket came first, a place to sit whilst working and he folded it neatly to create something akin to a cushion, a soft spot to rest his knees upon. Levi hitched his shorts up, pulling the baggy garment higher so the frayed hems lifted - to get them stuck every time he knelt would be insanely annoying. Swift hands unveiled the other contents of his crate; one large envelope, a tin, three large brushes, rags and some white spirits for cleaning, all lined up and ready to go. He bent down, hair spilling around pale cheeks and Levi tutted. This wouldn't do, either. A tie was fished out from his back pocket, locks swept away and knotted in the elastic band, light breeze gracing his exposed neck with it's cooling breath and he sighed in contentment, lid lifted from the can.

Erwin gaped at the sight he was met by around twenty minutes later, his cart now still and chest strangely alight as he surveyed the unexpected scene. The courier was sitting on a blanket, his legs curled to one side and one arm holding him up, the other working in sweeping motions as deep brown paint was applied to the booth, special attention being paid to one particular area low down. What really caught the blonde man's eye, apart from the glaringly obvious 'why?' about all of this, was how soft and inviting his nape looked, the fluffy shadow of an undercut now on show and as Erwin crept closer, he had to resist the urge to reach out and stroke it.

_Yea, because THAT wouldn't be wholly inappropriate, would it Erwin? But really…what's he doing? Why is he here? I wonder how it feels…I bet it's all fuzzy and…_

"Morning."

The sudden greeting caused Erwin to stumble, his feet acting cruelly against him and he managed to stay upright, the other male not even having turned around so his trip went thankfully unnoticed.

"Um…morning? What…I mean, I can see you're painting but…"

Levi looked over his shoulder, the flustered and slightly pink cheeked man standing nearby making his stomach flip with excitement as he saw a smile rather than horror on his handsome face, impromptu work seemingly well received and he dipped the brush for some more of the thick liquid.

"You said it needed doing."

He explained his behaviour away with a shrug, betraying the internal explosion of adoration that he was experiencing and got back to his steady rhythm, throat working in spasms as he waited for a further reaction.

_Anything but 'get the hell away from me'. Anything but that. Please please please…_

"In that case, thank you."

_Thank fuck thank fuck thank fuck_

"No worries." Acting as nonchalantly as possible, Levi jutted an elbow towards the forgotten trolley, transport having been left a few metres away and he made a suggestion. "Need a hand with that?"

"Oh…no, no. You're already doing enough." Erwin fetched his goods, pushing the cart inwards and taking care not to go crashing straight into the paint pot or his apparent handyman and he unlocked the side door, blue eyes flicking over constantly. He still couldn't fathom why this person would be doing this, on his day off too and a slightly more timid voice than before came from within the kiosk. "But if you don't mind me asking…"

"I damaged your hut. I wanted to fix that."

The simple response was not one that Erwin could argue against, the company most welcome too so he decided to leave it alone and allowed whatever motivations were to thank for this to continue.

"Appreciated. You really don't have to, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to once the rush dies down."

"Well, you're in luck then. I'm known for my sparkling conversational skills."

Even without seeing the man on the blanket, Erwin could hear the sarcasm and laughed, emerging to move stock from one place to the other, hatch opened so that their chat could carry on face to face, mumbled reply muted further by the fact he was crouched low.

"You could read me the warning on that paint can for all I care. Just your voice is enough."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, just talking to the cakes."

Levi smirked, unaware of what had really been said but to think of a veritable god of a man speaking with his pastries was an uplifting thought to ponder - like gardeners chatted to their flowers, this individual imbued even more sweetness with his words.

_That is just too fucking cute. I mean please, not only does he have a body I could watch all day long, he talks to his cakes? Kill me now. I'm done for._

Their separate chores continued in mutual silence, the odd whistle from inside the booth as things were safely displayed and occasional grumbles about the weather from out front. As predicted, it was already a fucking scorcher of a day and Levi paused, unperturbed by the queue of customers who stood above him and glanced down now and again.

"Fuck, it's hot."

A few mutters of agreement were offered from the line, men in suits and women with ridiculously high heels all wishing they could be elsewhere and Erwin nodded, happy in his shaded little workplace which also came with the added benefit of an electric fan. He looked to where the gripe had come from and almost dropped the latte he was preparing, hands suddenly limp and incapable of correct usage. The brush had been put to one side and a series of exercises were taking place, dark haired man rolling his neck from left to right, palms back on the blanket and legs stretched out in front of him, all accompanied by the sheen of hard work on perfect porcelain skin.

There wasn't anything overtly sexual in the way he moved but Erwin was mesmerized by every single change in position, each flex of visible muscle and his mind wandered to what might lie beneath that black tee. The garment was way too big, slipping slightly at the shoulder to reveal a slice of equally pristine flesh and the shop owner licked his bottom lip without realising, struggling to concentrate on the task at hand. He bumbled his way through the transaction, coins scattered more than once and finally Erwin could move onto the next person, flush as bright as day and grin a little too manic.

Levi had no clue, remained of the opinion that any time soon he'd politely be asked to leave and stop being a freak so he made the most of it, staring upwards to watch his favourite tight white shirt straining against it's own buttons. The thoughts he'd had about that…the downright filthy thoughts…how he'd like to rub his hands up and down that chest, trail his tongue around those nipples which were begging to be released, bite at them…

In a flurry of activity Levi sprung up to kneel again, the only way to hide what was a rather embarrassing hard on and he continued his daydream, fast brush strokes applied to give a good excuse for his red complexion - he was in so deep, to carry on this fantasy in his head would make no difference.

_I wonder what noises he'd make? I bet he'd be loud. I could wrench some absolutely fucking disgusting sounds out of that mouth…have him begging…on the verge of crying and then I'd let him have me. Tease his cock until his balls were blue. That would be the fuck of a lifetime._

Levi was outwardly shy and closed off, an inept creature at times but when it came to his smutty imagination, he reckoned that no one could rival his fabricated tales, all of which centred around a particular tanned male. He'd never ever admit to any of this, kept it to himself and shifted round to start on the other side of the booth, only covering ground from hatch level down.

_I'd ride him so slowly he'd be able to feel every part of me…whisper horrific things in his ear that would make him blow his fucking load so many times…fill me up over and over until neither of us could breathe…then I'd go back for more, swallow him whole and taste that…_

"Hello?"

"Ngnh?"

He stopped, remaining hunched over as shocked silver shot up as if caught jerking off in public; he wasn't far off, in serious trouble actually and Levi wriggled a little, regretting it instantly as friction threatened to cause a mess in his underwear, feeling so ridiculously hard and neglected that only the slightest touch could spell disaster.

"I asked if you wanted a drink? All the customers are gone for now, be a few hours until it picks up again?"

"Oh, right. Yes please. Let me just finish this bit."

"Don't be long."

Levi smiled, a wholly insincere gesture and he retreated inside his mind again, own voice now mocking.

_Who the fuck do I think I am? Some kind of expert lover? I don't know shit. Just a few unsatisfying and fumbled fucks. He'd probably laugh. Tell me to come back when I've learnt something about life._

It did the trick, erection waning enough so he could stand and Levi rubbed his hands on the cloth he'd brought, stray splats of paint tidied as much as possible and he walked to the open door, met by the sight of an ass in the air.

"Give me fucking strength…" He spoke quietly, eyes to the heavens for support and teeth clenched. Erwin shuffled around, selected a bottle of his new product and returned to an upright stance, unsure on why his acquaintance was mumbling into the sky.

"I…I know you don't want hot tea so…I thought you might like this."

Levi took the offered item, read the label with a flutter in his heart which couldn't be ignored.

"Did you get this in especially?"

"I um…I wanted to try something new I guess, just…" His cobalt gaze flicked to everywhere but the amazingly innocent face that looked at him with awe, such apparent joy from a simple drink and he broke, apologetic smile coming with his admittance. "Yea. Yea I did."

"Fuck." Levi didn't know what to say, had a million ideas all at once, one involving a hug but he forced his tone to come down an octave, hand shoved out instead. "Levi."

"Eh?"

"I'm Levi Ackerman."

"Erwin. Erwin Smith."

"Well, thank you Erwin Smith. This is…erm…nice."

They shared a handshake, lingering grip perhaps on the side of being a little too long and Erwin beamed, thoroughly happy to see the glimmer of elation on usually stoic features as he lost himself in beautiful grey hues, swam in the depths that lay within Levi's eyes and he reluctantly let go of the soft palm which fit perfectly in his grasp.

"Are you going to try it?"

"Ah…yes. Sorry." Levi cleared his tight throat, lid screwed off and he drank with measured gulps, the taste of ice cold black tea and lemon sliding gloriously downwards, freezing sensation following the liquid's route as his insides were treated to an exquisite gift. Erwin held his breath, completely enraptured yet nervous to get the verdict - was it good enough? Had he fucked up?

_I hope you like it, Levi. I could never tell you about all the research I did to find the perfect blend for you. I wanted to give you the best…_

The bottle was emptied, Erwin's clasped hands now under his chin like an expectant school girl and Levi nodded once, vessel inspected to hide his true emotions.

"It's fucking good."

"Really?"

"Really. You should put it on your board, though. People won't be able to see it down there."

"I thought maybe, if you'd like that is…maybe I can keep it just for you? While it's hot out, I mean. You work so hard in this that you need a cold drink and I wouldn't want you to dehydrate and…"

"Erwin?"

"Yea?"

"Thank you. I'd like that." Erwin giggled, actually full on giggled and Levi swore he could feel a kind of rejuvenating benefit from the sound, any previously filthy thoughts banished as all he could think about now was the spiralling pull of being completely head over heels for this man, someone who looked like he could take down a bear but also produce rainbows and love hearts out of thin air. "Can I…I have to pay you, though…"

"No! It's my shout. Anyway, you are painting my booth for me after all."

"I'm surprised you didn't ask me to leave."

"I must admit it was a bit of a shock, Levi." He loved saying that name, a tangible piece of information which felt so right on his tongue and Erwin continued. "But a welcome one."

"I'll carry on then?"

"Please do! I'll fix you a snack too?"

"Now you're just spoiling me, Erwin."

"I enjoy fussing."

Levi nodded again - he could certainly see Erwin as one of life's feeders, someone who lavished attention via food and he feared slightly for his waist line, but not enough to refuse the gesture. He returned to the blanket, soul soaring high and unaffected by the equally rocketing temperature. Today was already shaping up to be one of his favourites.

The noon rush eliminated conversation, their preceding few hours spent with idle chat and Levi had moved to the back of the hut, shadow gratefully taken and he kept looking inside to where Erwin worked tirelessly, on his feet all day and perpetually cheery.

_I don't know how he does it. All these fuckers with their 'skinny choco latte half milk half water stir it clockwise' bullshit. It's coffee. Just drink it. I'd have killed someone by now. And the sandwiches. There's nothing wrong with them, don't ask to have a fresh one made you picky little pricks._

He supposed that customer service was paramount when running one's own business but it irked him to see people asking so much of the man, a distinctly protective streak running through his core every time someone acted so damn rude, orders barked through the hatch as if they were the only human who mattered.

_You're all lucky I'm sat back here now with a fantastic view. Talk to me like that and I'd cut your fucking eyes out._

Erwin deserved a break, some polite patrons even. He most certainly did not deserve this treatment, however maybe this was just the way of life now, a sad reflection upon society and Levi grew more thankful for his solitary line of work.

By four o'clock service had stalled again and Erwin tidied up the absolute mess of a kiosk, daily routine no different yet this time he had help. The painting was complete, bottom section now sporting a new shine and Levi had no problem with a little extra elbow grease, tiny sink filled and knives washed down carefully. They worked together like performing a ballet, movements in synch as arms reached for items, bodies bent to stash cutlery and the pair danced to their own song, one of peace and the glow which came from spending the day in one another's company.

"Erwin? What time do you close up?"

"Usually five. Or when I run out of energy. Whichever comes first."

"You must get up really fucking early."

"Before the birds, Levi."

"Don't you worry about burning out?"

Erwin sighed, turning in the cramped space to watch as the final empty boxes were crushed in between deft hands, recycling pile building up and he smiled.

"All the time. But this is what I do. I actually like it."

"The bags under your eyes beg to differ."

"Says you?"

"Yea, ok. Make fun of my early aging why don't you."

Levi huffed, the flash in his stare showing it was not taken badly though and he crossed his arms, brown flecks of paint peppering pale skin and now touching Erwin's stomach, the tiny building not allowing anything but physical contact.

"Just telling the truth, Levi."

They couldn't tear their gazes away, blue solidly locked onto steel and they both had the same feelings of surprise - all this time thinking of one person, lusting after them, dreaming of them, wanting to be close to them…and here they were, mutually interested yet still incapable of doing anything about it. When a customer approached the kiosk, it took a few seconds for the pair to register that they had company, unspoken emotions filling the space with a thick atmosphere and eventually Erwin turned, nudging Levi by mistake.

"Sorry."

"You will be."

Levi resisted the urge to slap at the buttocks now on display, swallowed down his hunger and he slid towards the door, brushing up against Erwin in the process. How he didn't moan was a mystery, masculine aroma once more filling his senses as the fleeting position placed his nose between the other's shoulder blades and he breathed in a lungfull, remembered the intricate flavour to be recalled in times of lonely introspection. But perhaps that could be a thing of the past? Their time today spelling the start of a friendship? More? Before he could get carried away, Levi exited into the muggy afternoon and started to tidy outside.

Five PM arrived and the shutter was closed, left overs packed away as usual and Erwin paused, not wanting to see this end just yet but having prior engagements to fulfil, an evening with his father already planned and he coughed once.

"Thank you, Levi. It was fun. And thanks for painting my booth."

"Like I said, no worries. Thanks for letting me hang out."

They stood awkwardly, glancing around at the start of human rush hour and in their own little bubble, crowds blurred and meaningless. Erwin spoke up again, blood pumping in his ears at a deafening volume as he prepared to make a suggestion.

"We could hang out again? If you want."

"Yea, ok. Maybe not in there, though. Bit fucking cramped."

"Deal."

Levi had a jolt of recognition, package brought from his back pocket and passed over.

"Your mail, Sir."

"Where did you get this from?"

"Went by work this morning. Let myself in. The guy covering for me is shit."

"Levi…always the responsible courier."

A small slip of paper was produced along with a pen and the blonde signed in his usual dramatic fashion, Levi's lips twitching in amusement.

"How the fuck does that look like 'Erwin Smith'? I've been trying to figure it out for weeks."

"Weeks, eh? You could have just asked."

"Where would the fun have been in that?"

A joint smile was shared, palms raised in farewell as they went their separate ways.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Without doubt, Erwin."

The tall man stared after his new friend, took note of how he hopped onto the bike in a fluid motion once out of the pedestrian area and sped off, no longer in his life again. But he wouldn't have to wait. Tomorrow would arrive soon enough.

 

 


	4. Images

Pedals spun as a fast pace was applied to the beaten up bike, tyres in need of pumping but Levi didn't have time for that, had to get to the university if his latest works were going to be ready for this evening. People were dodged with skill, a few shouts from those he whizzed past but there was no fear of collision, his practised movements coming like second nature as if the metal and gears were a part of his body, a mechanical extension of sorts. He gently squeezed the brake handle, position altered correctly so a sideways slide could be enforced, tight corner taken with ease and he was moving onwards once more, mouth open and gasping in some much needed air.

The past few days had given him a reason, a new lease of life almost and as his legs powered strongly, Levi ignored the screaming pain in his calf muscles, allowed actual happiness to engulf agony and keep him going. Since spending that day together he'd visited Erwin's booth as usual each morning, two deliveries made right on schedule - they didn't have long to talk, the line of customers and further parcels to dispatch being quite the problem so only a handful of minutes could be snatched at, ones spent with bashful and unsure chatter as the two of them found their feet. It still hadn't been voiced out loud, no name or label given so for all intents and purposes, they were simply 'hanging out'.

Levi reached the back door and gulped for breath, feverish knocks hopefully rousing his friend as he shakily reached for a bottle of water, thirst levels at an all time high. Mike's shaggy hair appeared, along with the lower half of his face and he tutted at the man who awaited him - red, sweaty, panting and surely on the verge of collapse.

"You'll kill yourself one day, Levi."

"May…maybe so but...fuck…hold on…"

He chugged back half the drink then flopped over the handles, arms resting on the bar and head down, chest heaving and legs like jelly.

"Seriously though. This can't be healthy."

"I'll worry about my health when I have more fucking time. You gonna let me in?"

"Sure. Just don't expect CPR."

Levi left his bike outside, positive that no one would steal the piece of shit and he carried his heavy bag through to the kiln room, yet more physical exertion to suffer and he huffed with every step, the come-down now hitting hard. Three new statues were unveiled with care and attention, lined up ready to be glazed and Mike nodded, leaning in to get a better look.

"These are amazing."

"Mmm."

The usually pale man barely registered the words, not from rudeness but concentration as he painted his special mix onto the clay, precise amounts dabbed and swept to ensure he didn't drown the figure. Each stroke was practised and kind as if covering an actual person, smaller tool brought out to highlight certain facial features, make amendments last minute and perfect his creations, a trio of original art which may or may not prove popular. Friday night markets always saw a larger crowd though, foreign beers and samples of wine flowing steadily through the evening so he hoped some of the good cheer would rub off on the attendees and allow them to part with their hard earned cash.

Three models were slowly slid into the burning hot oven, glass door secured tightly and Levi sighed, reaching into his bag to retrieve the other treasure he had stashed within, something wrapped in brown paper and sealed shut with a small sticker. Mike frowned, slight jealousy on his tongue as he spoke in curt and accusing tones.

"Where the hell did you get that from?"

Levi declined to answer at first, all of his focus on the delight that was revealed bit by bit, a giant fancy looking sandwich laying on his lap. It was made from thick slices of granary bread, seeds and things he didn't even recognise baked into the crust, filling bursting out and promising to be a messy affair. He didn't mind though, plenty of napkins had been included in the gift from this morning, one which was nestled in ice packs to keep their contents fresh. Erwin wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, insisting that Levi accept the food to boost energy levels but the recipient liked to think of it as something more, perhaps a way to show emotion without being blatant. Either way he didn't know how to correctly reciprocate, mind blank and devoid of ideas for now as he was thoroughly caught up in his sandwich, mumbled reply finally coming from a hungry mouth.

"I bought it."

"Yea, right. That's bullshit, Levi. You never pay for high end food like this." Mike crossed his arms and sat back on the rickety stool, stomach growling at the sight and he watched with vague annoyance whilst bites were taken. "The last thing I saw you eat was a cheap cup-a-soup."

"Times change, Mike. Get over it."

Speaking between chews, Levi resisted the urge to groan as the tastes hit all at once, ingredients used which complimented each other perfectly, bread soft and also deliciously crunchy in places - this was surely heaven.

_If Erwin makes all of his stuff taste so good it may well kill me. Fuck, this is amazing. I'm going to get fucking fat. I know it. Sandwich today, cream cake tomorrow…shit I would marry that man in a heartbeat…_

Mike was shocked out of his glaring sulk, sudden chokes from his friend causing concern and he slapped a huge hand across the smaller man's back, checking to see if it had any effect.

"Levi? You ok? What happened?"

A few more whacks resolved the issue, coughing fit finished and Levi gathered himself, surprised at the words which manifested instinctively in his brain. You couldn't help the random trains of thought from spilling out, he knew that, but to hear it in his own head sounded…desperate? Delusional? Immature?

_One sandwich and I'm picking out fucking gold rings. Shit. I need help._

"Yea…I'm ok, Mike. Went down the wrong way.

"That's what you get for lying."

"I'm not fucking lying. Now go fetch us some beers."

"Charming."

Nevertheless, the tallest of the pair sloped off to do as ordered, leaving a broken man behind. Levi gazed into the kiln, observed his newest works changing colour slowly and he grumbled.

"Why does he have to be so damn perfect?"

~~~~~~

Erwin sorted his hair in the mirror, care taken despite not really wanting to go out tonight but he liked to indulge his father. Large fingers pulled at eyelids, physical age once more being scrutinized and he shook his head, decision made.

"That's it."

With a deep exhale of air, Erwin vowed to cut Saturdays from his rota, give himself an actual weekend, at least until the baking frenzy commenced on Sunday evening - one more night off. One more lie-in.

"One more day to sit and think about Levi."

He couldn't build up the courage to ask the man he admired on a date, would have no idea where to go or what to do either, so it seemed best not to bother.

_He'll shoot me down anyway. Who would want to go out with someone who's so tired all the time? And these eyes…I need more teabags._

"Son? You ready?"

"Yea dad. Coming."

He gave a final glance and sighed, emerging from his father's bathroom feeling slightly lifted at having a free night, no rush to cut their trip short and hurry to the kitchen, no clouds of flour awaiting him that would choke and stifle his throat. The weekend work was always slow, his main income brought in from office employees and commuters, so it would make little difference money-wise once he deducted his overheads. Also, the absence of a certain patron sullied his enthusiasm - it was the most sensible solution all round.

"Don't you look all smart!"

"Thanks, dad."

"What time do we need to get you back?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Why?"

They paused by the door, older eyes inspecting younger ones for signs of a problem but finding an odd mix of mildly happy resignation.

"I've decided not to open on Saturdays. Give myself a break."

"Good lad, that's my boy!" He patted the larger man's shoulder, a gesture which changed to a fervent grip as he smiled broadly. "You deserve a rest. Now, let's go paint the town red."

"Probably not a great idea at your age."

"I feel just as young as you, Erwin. You'll have to keep up with me!"

The pair left the retirement home, laughter and a sense of relief glowing from both of them and they made their short journey into the busy city hub. It wasn't often that Erwin had a chance to 'let his hair down', rarely saw the outside world after eight PM and he didn't really know what to make of it, glad for a slice of freedom and he became engulfed by the crowds, thoughts elsewhere. People surrounded him, all talking and smiling, all having fun; some were couples, arms linked and faces filled with love.

_I wonder what Levi thought of the sandwich? Did I put enough filling in? He must be so hungry after his shifts, I hope it helped. Should have given him a cake too. I'll do that on Monday. Or is that coming on a bit too strong? He probably thinks I'm such an idiot…_

"So, who's the lucky man?"

"Huh?" Erwin glanced to his father, a small smile shining back at him. "I don't know what you mean."

"I understand you, Erwin. Well enough to notice when you're thinking about someone. He must be special, though. I haven't seen that face since the aftershave commercial."

"Wha…I…" Erwin remembered all too well, a certain semi-nude model draped across some rocks by the ocean, nothing but desire in his eyes, thirty seconds of pure bliss between programmes that caused a distinct stirring within the then younger male…very much younger, actually. "Dad? I was fourteen."

"And?"

"I didn't tell you I was gay until seven years later."

"Well. Isn't that something."

They continued in silence, a smugness radiating from his parent and Erwin frowned, paying no heed to the stalls around him and concentrating on what this all meant.

"So…you knew I was gay before I did?"

"Son, like I said, it's my job to know you. Even if you didn't realise it at the time."

"You could have told me! Saved all that confusion a and what was quite frankly a really disgusting first kiss with Brenda at the school disco?"

"Erwin? What good would that have done, hmm? Some things need to be discovered for oneself."

"I suppose…"

"Now stop sulking and tell me about him." A plastic cup of wine appeared from nowhere and was thrust into Erwin's hand with an order. "Drink. Speak. Talk to me."

"There's nothing to tell, dad."

"Bull. Get it out. Might make you feel better."

The younger man gave in, shoulders slumped as they strolled through the market and he explained how Levi had become such an important part of his life, sure that he sounded ridiculous for holding these beliefs as they barely knew one another. Details were left out of course, no mention of late night fantasies or daytime dreams and he most certainly did not cover how totally smitten he was. But it was clear to see, drawn all over his features, handsome image both lighting up at the thought of Levi yet also sorrowful, unrequited emotions creating pain as well as joy and Erwin's father nodded, eyes forward now where they had previously been trained on his son intently.

"You have to get over this shyness, Erwin. I've never witnessed you so incapable of opening up."

"It's stupid, I know. But I can't help it, dad. He…he probably wouldn't be interested. Totally out of my league."

"Now now, young man. Don't sell yourself short. You're a smart and attractive human being."

"You would say that…"

"And I also say stop sulking! Come, let's make the most of this. I feel the need to spend some money tonight."

Erwin smiled and shook his head, pleased for the change of subject and full of love for his father - he'd been right. Talking did help to alleviate his mood.

An hour passed by, maybe more and the tall blonde cast his gaze over the trinkets on offer, his third wine on the go after committing to the idea of having a good time. Jewellery sparkled on some tables, leather cuffs sat grandly on others but nothing called out to Erwin, no one item that screamed 'buy me' and he moved onwards, mumbling to his side.

"I think I'll be going home empty handed, dad." No reply was forthcoming and he looked round, his relative no longer there. "Dad?" He scoured the crowds, up on his toes to add even further height as the search continued, mild panic building with every minute. "Dad?!" The elder male wasn't senile or in danger of getting into some random trouble, but to find him gone in such a busy place was concerning, every flash of grey hair sought out, each glint of glasses noted and discarded as not belonging to his parent. Erwin snatched at his phone, ringtone bound to go unheard in this noisy atmosphere but he had to try, number dialled and device pressed to his ear as he whipped his neck around, lips licked nervously when a hand grabbed him by the arm and he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Look! I bought you something!"

"Dad! Where the hell did you run off to? Don't do that again."

"It took you long enough to notice I'd gone! But never mind that. Just look!"

Erwin tutted but did as asked regardless, action stations put down a notch and he took a deep breath as paper was unfolded carefully, thick protective shroud peeled away and a heavy object was handed over, the smooth surface feeling like silk under his touch and the taller of the pair was lost for words, item turned gingerly as if made from thin glass. He held a most exquisite sculpture, deep red glaze beautifully reflecting the orange lanterns which hung all around and he ran a delicate finger over the figure's face, in awe of the craftsmanship.

"Where…where did you get this?"

"Someone was selling them over there. No stall, just sitting on the ground, poor bugger. This was the last one though. But Erwin! It looks just like you!"

It did. The jawline, the noble nose, stature…everything fit into place and despite it being a nude piece the pose was subtle, nothing on show and Erwin gazed down at the kneeling effigy, a sombre expression moulded expertly onto it's face.

"Jesus…it's…I…"

"Obviously it's not you, my boy. Very similar though. Amazing work, don't you think?"

"Yea…yea it is. Thank you."

"Don't mention it. To be honest he could have gotten way more for this so I gave him a bit of extra cash. The little darling looked so dejected."

"Show me."

"What?"

"Show me who made this."

"He's gone, Erwin. Sorry. Packed up his case once I bought it."

"Oh."

Their evening had come to a close, nothing left to see and the two men wound their way back to their respective homes, Erwin's new treasure unconsciously cradled like the one who made it had done earlier. 


	5. Misconception

Monday. Monday monday monday. Never before had Levi been so excited to see the start of a working week. If truth be told, he'd probably never been this excited in his life, the two days away from Erwin seeming like years. All he'd done was think about the man who had invaded his mind, settled deep inside and taken up residence - anyone else would have been evicted by now, discarded as nothing, but this individual…he was different. Special. Every fucking thing.

With adrenaline and anticipation running fiercely through Levi's body, he completed the initial drop-offs at top speed, hurrying through boring clients to allow more time with Erwin. He didn't need to rush away today, his weekend filled with productivity thanks to selling all twelve statues, one at a generously higher price than asked. It meant he could purchase extra supplies and sculpt more figures, even treated himself to a take-out which Mike was invited to share, the almost equally poor student taking advantage and running across town quicker than a bullet from a gun. It was the least Levi could do for all of his friend's help, their bond having been formed in high school under strained conditions.

The two had hated one another at first for no particular reason, just the random decisions made by young minds on who not to like. After avoiding each other or slinging nasty looks for a year, they were forced together during a hiking field trip, one that involved getting lost in the woods with no compass, no sense of direction and what turned out to be a rather teary Mike. His fear of never returning home had manifested in ugly sobs, large nose dripping snot and bits of tree stuck in unkempt hair, such an image to behold and Levi had taken pity, tried to keep a safe distance but consoled the crying boy with grumbles and common sense.

A teacher had found them eventually, taller pre-teen hanging on to his small and angry looking counterpart like he had been on the verge of death when in reality they'd been 'missing' for all of thirty minutes. Levi did like to recall this often, remind his friend of that fateful day, but it was good natured - Mike was his only true companion, someone he trusted explicitly and the first person he'd spoken to on the subject of his sexuality.

Levi had never allowed himself to be confused about any feelings that began to manifest during his school days, accepted them for what they were and solidly immersed himself in confirming his own beliefs, all with the help of internet porn. He quickly realised where his interests lay and had explained starkly to Mike one evening, almost challenging his friend to disagree or try and talk him out of the 'phase'. That didn't happen. The elder male simply nodded once and got back to his book.

The squeak of protesting rubber brought Levi from his thoughts as he instinctively squeezed the brakes, pedestrian area reached already and he hopped off, striding legs bare from the knee down as usual and the pale man beat a determined path to one specific dark brown booth. The queue was long and Levi joined the back, followed by two others as customers piled in half an hour before their work commenced. Erwin's day had already begun, his flushed cheeks framing that kindly smile and he glanced up, hand raised briefly in greeting. Levi stuck his arm into the air, an over enthusiastic wave given in response and he realised it had gone unnoticed due to the next patron being served, fervent 'hello' making him feel like a total idiot.

_Great. Now I look like a complete fucking schoolboy with a crush. Which I suppose isn't entirely untrue…_

With every shuffled step forwards he grew increasingly nervous, heart pumping so fast that he could feel the blood drumming in his ears, a combination of exercise in this heat and what could only be described as a massive soft spot for the man he approached. Each customer peeled away with their drinks, subtracting the time it would take to reach the booth and Levi ran his fingers through raven hair, making himself more presentable as always. A palm rubbed across a no doubt wet forehead, baggy tee adjusted and he checked his posture, upright but not like a soldier, slouched but not like a slob.

He moved, shoulders back. Forwards again. Hand on hip. Removed. Hanging his free arm limply, Levi opted for a casual pose as he pushed his bike in what he hoped was nonchalance, ignoring the red hot sun and how it made his skin prickle and beg to be let into the shade.

_Just a little longer…then I'll be under the awning and staring up into those neverending blue eyes, close to…hang on. What the fuck?_

He was near enough to see within the shack now, top shelf containing tins of tea which he'd already scoped out, but they had a new addition sitting proudly on display, something familiar and strangely concerning. One of his statues. One from Friday night. Levi remembered them all as if they were his offspring - three red figures in the same kneeling position, all sold that evening. The first went to a middle aged woman, enthusiastic and friendly and he remembered the last, his well-paying elderly man who wanted to chat and pass the time of day. That left a guy in his twenties, maybe older than Levi by a few years and distinctly annoying.

He'd disliked the male on sight, his smarmy smile and self-assured stance; what made it worse was the brag to his friends, assuring them all that buying the clay figurine would ensure his way into a 'special man's underwear'. A gift for sex, basically. And now here sat one of Levi's creations, looking down from it's high placement in a taunting gaze.

_It was that prick. He bought it for Erwin to get a quick fuck. Charm him into bed. Shit._

The sculpture became all consuming, the only thing Levi could stare at, so when he got to the front of the queue his mouth was contorted in a shocked sneer, disbelief along with hatred for how he'd come across some of his cash on Friday. A sleazy exchange. He'd been instrumental in getting Erwin laid.

"Levi?"

"What?"

The snapping nature to his tone was harsh, spiteful even and Erwin winced, pinned to the spot by piercing silver.

"Um…you ok?"

"Yea. Fine. Whatever. Here's your mail."

Levi tossed the package onto the counter, giving the statue one last scowl before he turned, not even bothering to get a signature - he needed to be as far from here as possible. Mounting his bike, he gave zero shits about the protests and shouts from those around and shot into the distance, leaving behind a very confused man.

Erwin watched the fast escape with sadness and bewilderment, instantly blaming himself for whatever had occured.

_The sandwich. It was too much, I knew it. Practically acted like his mother. 'You need your strength.' What was I thinking? I treated him like a kid._

Customers barely distracted him, didn't even create a good enough reason to forget and Erwin went about the motions, making coffees and serving pastries in automatic gestures, chest tight and stomach heavy with dread. He'd fucked up and now Levi would never want to speak to him again.

Deliveries were made ahead of schedule for the rest of the day, a sullen figure darkening the moods of everyone he came into contact with. Levi grunted and griped through the transactions, not much of a change to usual however his eyes held a whole new level of loathing, slices of molten lead making anyone who fell under their scrutiny feel cold and slightly empty. Each journey was shortened, his dismay manifesting in physical exertion and Levi pushed to his limit, teeth grit and headphones firmly lodged in his ears, the most angst-ridden music he could find blaring away to provide a soundtrack.

By one PM he was finished in more ways than one, thoughts bleak but also assessing acutely, body spent and flesh on fire. His black tee stuck to him, uncomfortable sweat not registering just yet as Levi made circuits of the roads near Erwin's hut, an internal dialogue trying to make sense of it all.

_Surely he wouldn't be that easy. Or be attracted to such a fucking pretentious bastard. What if I got it wrong? The others could know Erwin and saw how much it looked like him? After all, it is him. Every single time._

Levi's hands had been moulding for years yet recently they shaped only one person, imagination used for the physique. Even that wasn't too much of a stretch though, tight clothing leaving little to envisage mentally and the artist began to doubt his knee-jerk reaction.

_How rude was I? Fuck, I made a mistake. Fucking hell, Levi. Great people skills as always._

He had to make amends, sort this out so he changed direction, heading back to the scene of his epic sulk.

Erwin sighed, large but careful hands clearing up the last of the lunchtime rush, crowds having dispersed earlier than usual today, presumably to seek solace in air conditioned offices. The fan blew cooling drafts onto the back of his neck, a normally enjoyable sensation currently sullied by his broken state and he crouched down, paper cups stashed under the counter. Erwin was aware of footsteps, ones that stopped on the other side of his booth and he heard the crunch of shoes on stone, person standing awaiting attention.

"Just a second."

"No hurry. Don't want you to bang your head again."

The hidden male froze, taking a moment to steady himself and prepare for what was coming next, no discernable emotion heard in Levi's voice. He stood, palms wiped on the tiny apron as he met a steely face, thin line of lips pressed together drawn across an attractive visage, grey eyes determined and half-lidded. A chill travelled over his body, sure that a kind of 'break-up' speech was on the cards and Erwin felt suddenly nauseous, a sick sensation churning within and threatening to turn into an actual vomit session. He swallowed once, throat dry as bones and useless in it's aim, tongue virtually sticking to the roof of his mouth and he flinched when Levi pointed upwards.

"Where did you get that?"

Erwin followed the vaguely shaking finger, a flash of embarrassment cancelling out his trepidation as he was discovered, a seemingly narcissistic act sitting proudly above.

_This makes me look so full of myself. Oh god…he thinks I'm a creep._

Stuttering, Erwin replied with outstretched arms, begging physically for a chance.

"My…my dad bought it. Said it looked like me but I'm not showing off, I actually really like it, it's not me though, just a coincidence…"

Levi visibly relaxed, tension leaving his tired muscles and Erwin frowned, wondering why the man before him seemed to be on the cusp of either collapse or laughter.

"Erwin…I'm sorry for being a fucking imbecile earlier."

"Why…why were you upset? I thought you hated the sandwich…"

It took all of Levi's power to hold his chuckle in, the picture of sweet purity looming tall in front of him and when Erwin started to wring his hands, he almost melted out of adoration.

"No, I liked the sandwich. Thank you."

"Good. I'm glad." A kind of uncomfortable silence drifted in, the blonde still no further forwards as to this morning's outburst and he decided to move it on for now, happy to be back on speaking terms even if he had no idea why those terms had ever been severed. "Thirsty?"

"As the fucking desert."

"You look like you've been doing an endurance ride."

Erwin grabbed a glass bottle of iced tea, cracking the lid and passing it over as he leant on the counter, taking in the view. Levi did indeed resemble someone who had been tested to the max, put through cruel and rigourous training to become part of an elite branch of the military or similar, his sodden shirt clinging to the strong chest beneath. Sparkling cobalt ate up the most welcome sight - Erwin never knew he had such a lust for hard work, hadn't put himself down as a slave to a visible display of exertion, but as Levi drank slowly before him, it became clear. He was most certainly a slut for a bit of honest sweat.

_It's not just that. Look at his cheeks, all pink. His hair's messy too…_

A few onyx strands had fallen from their swept-back position, danced in the faint breeze which blew from the fan inside and helped create a beautifully wrecked image for Erwin to lose himself in. Collar bones were exposed, a glimmer of moisture accentuating the perfect lines and he drew his gaze up, over the gulping and wet throat, across a strong yet youthful jaw, hungry lips that looked soft and supple.

Now it was time to travel south, black fabric clinging in contours to what was an impressive abdomen and Erwin nearly shuddered with glee as he spotted the hem of Levi's top had ridden upwards at some point. Low slung shorts sat beneath the waistband of dark underwear, hips rose to frame the most wonderful of V shapes and despite being baggy clothing, Erwin dreamt he could see the outline of what lay inside. It became so vivid that he stared in awe, eyes then sliding to the curve of a glorious ass, boxers even more visible at the back and they lay tight against flesh.

_He's so small and perfectly formed...I wonder how much of that butt I could get in one hand? Squeeze it and stroke and tease until he turned to putty…I could make him feel so good. Have him purring like a little kitten…_

Levi had stopped, drink now long gone and he stood side-on, gawping at the man behind the hatch, unsure of exactly what was happening. Erwin had rested his chin in one palm, elbow on the counter and he wore a dopey smile, lids half closed and face on the more magenta side of red. The courier frowned, following the line of sight from bright blue straight down to…

_Is he checking me out? Like really blatantly fucking staring at my ass? He must just be daydreaming. There's no way…no way he'd actually be interested. Is there? No. Of course not. Maybe_.

He didn't know what to do with himself and opted to move, step taken forwards and empty bottle placed down carefully. Erwin was wholly caught up in his own thoughts, mental storyline now progressed to the point at which they were both naked, two bodies gyrating together, a hot mess of limbs and moans as his brain kicked it up a gear, added voices to the mix.

_Holy shit…Levi…I want you…that's it, just never stop…_

Erwin could hear his name being called, a breathy sound which was steeped in need and desire, such a filthy cry that he had caused, him alone sending this man into a world where reality ceased to exist in place of lust.

"Erwin? Erwiiiin?"

"Nuhh?"

It had broken the spell, a rather insistent and chiding tone that didn't fit his fantasy and Erwin tumbled back into a coherent state, suddenly aware of where he was and what was going on. Instantly turning purple, the blonde straightened up and looked to his shoes, sure that something would give him away and project the dirty images for all to see, expose the internal porno that he'd grown ridiculously hard whilst watching and then he'd be revealed as the not-so-clean-cut person that dwelled within.

And now here he stood, caught in the act and Erwin sighed, raising his apologetic eyes to meet accusing steel and a lifted brow.

_Oh don't look at me like that Levi…even your 'what the hell' face is making me want to do some terrible things to you…_

He had no words, no way to account for the stupid behaviour and the ability to function in any form slowly ebbed away until Erwin was left only with a bulge in his pants and one subject he could talk about, vocabulary bumbling out in an awkward flow of syllables.

"There's a thing on Friday night I don't know if you're busy but there's a thing and you can come if you want it's just a little party here nothing major…"

"Erwin?"

"Yes?"

Levi paused, startled wide eyes staring back at him and waiting for an answer to the most rushed question he'd ever heard. Erwin was clearly feeling out of his depth, the adorable look of anticipation written all over his face like Oliver Twist begging for more - all he needed was a cap to hold in his hands, a smudge of dirt on his cheek and it would be complete. The reply was on the sly side, an odd display of confidence which came from the possibility of being leered at and Levi smirked, arms crossed and resting on one hip.

"Are you asking me on a date?"

_Why did I say that?! A date?_

"No no no not a date, just if you fancied coming along for a drink…"

_But it is a date, why did I deny it?!_

"Sure. Sounds fun."

Erwin's brain misfired, the unexpected acceptance catching him unawares and he couldn't help the huge grin which spread across his handsome face, head nodding against his will until he resembled something akin to a crazed lunatic.

"Fun! Yes it will be! The landlord of this square does it now and again, invites all the people who rent the booths, the gardeners, that kind of thing! Usually there's a barbecue, free alcohol, it can be quite nice to have a bit of a knees-up."

"And everyone needs a knees-up."

"Oh yes. Very important to get some R&R. Takes the stress away."

He was babbling now, expansive gestures painting the scene as Erwin explained how it would likely be set up, who to avoid and who to take with a pinch of salt, his neighbouring vendors described in detail. Levi didn't mind, basked in the enthusiasm and he allowed a small smile to pull at his lips, so captivated by the man's enviable passion and child-like enjoyment. Despite having the urge to jump all over him and touch every inch of flesh available, Levi also wanted to preserve this innocence, soak it up and perhaps take some for himself.

An ill timed customer arrived, breaking through the little bubble they'd put up and slapping a dose of real life upon the pair. Erwin got to work, glancing constantly to where Levi stood to one side and they shared looks that meant much more than could ever be spoken - they both knew it was a date. They both knew it wasn't a simple drink. What they didn't know was how to deal with the impending event. As more patrons arrived for the afternoon rush, farewells were exchanged in amongst the hiss of the coffee machine and as Levi pushed his bike in the direction of home, he felt more at ease than he possibly ever had done before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reacquainting myself with the debut 30STM album and imagine Levi listening to Jared Leto screeching Capricorn...


	6. Learning

"No."

"What's wrong with this one?"

"Erwin, you're bursting out of it! Leave something to the imagination."

Erwin sighed, arms circled as he saw exactly what his father meant - each movement exposed some flesh between buttons, a side effect of vigorous work outs and he shrugged, hating the fact that he'd need to shell out for a new shirt.

"I guess so."

"We'll need to go shopping, son. It's only Monday, we have plenty of time."

After closing, Erwin had picked his dad up from the retirement home, brought him to his apartment for a dose of much needed fashion advice. He'd been unable to keep his excitement at bay, gushed about the date on Friday and pleaded for help. A good impression was paramount, however it wasn't going to be the first time they'd met, so there was an element of 'why make the extra effort?'.

"He's seen me covered in crumbs, coffee stains on my apron, hot and flustered."

"And this is why you need something to wow the man, Erwin. Let him see you as you, not a café owner."

"Yea, I suppose."

"Stop sulking. Finish early tomorrow and we'll find you a special outfit."

"I'm not sulking. I just...I don't know, dad."

"Hey, don't go getting cold feet already. You've done the hard part and asked him out, even if it's not an official date."

"What if he thinks its only a drink? I mean, I did say that after all."

"He won't think that. People don't go around painting booths for no reason."

His father had a point. Levi did seem to have some kind of interest in him that went beyond simple chit chat, took his free time to do a favour and go that extra mile…but it still didn't mean he was interested.

Not so far away a similar struggle was taking place, only this happened alone, singular drawer open as silver eyes scanned everything on offer. A pale hand sifted through piles of black, t-shirts carefully placed atop the small wooden chest to reveal what may or may not be lurking underneath.

"Fuck."

Levi had found his goal, a long sleeved button down shirt of deep maroon, his only 'dressy' possession - the problem was it's current state.

"Even the creases have fucking creases."

The last time he'd worn it was for an interview, one which he failed miserably at so as he held his crumpled garment aloft, all Levi could think about was the condescending pompous prick who'd been sat across the table from him. That and how damn awful the shirt looked. He slung it to one side, left the item for later to be ironed on a high heat with full steam and moved onto the next conundrum. His lower half.

_All I have is shorts. Shit. Can I pull that off? Of course not. I don't want to look like Charlie fucking Harper. I'm sure I didn't throw those pants away…_

Levi rummaged deeper, past socks and underwear, beneath weathered sweaters and a questionable scarf, all the while muttering to himself quietly about the lack of storage. Most of his miniscule apartment was taken up by the sofa bed, an old battered piece of furniture that remained in the sleeping position, no need usually to have a separate seat. Other than that, his work area commanded the next chunk of space, a large and sturdy wooden desk which was littered with scars, hacks and gouges from heavy handed cuts of clay and more than a few stab marks that were a result of frustration.

Finally another sad piece of clothing was unearthed, plain slacks in need of pressing but the iron would have to do and Levi scrutinized their appearance with a sceptical eye. The bottom hems were slightly frayed from scuffing, surely something which would go unnoticed and he pulled off his shorts, trousers tried on for size. They were too long yet fit everywhere else, if a tad snugly so he adjusted himself, crotch tugged at and package rearranged. A couple of lunges confirmed success and Levi shuffled to the mirror, a shiny rectangle that was screwed onto the wall and he inspected the sight from all available angles.

_Well, Erwin won't need to imagine what my ass looks like with these. That is if he was actually staring at it._

Next came his tee, a fresh one having been grabbed after a quick shower upon returning home and the young man studied his form, casting a judgemental glare over pale flesh.

_I need to work on my chest. Could do with some definition._

His arms gained strength and muscle mass from the bike, same for his legs, but standing here half naked always brought out insecurities. Some comments had once been passed after unskilled and awkward sex, his equally novice partner at the time making remarks which still stung like a bitch.

_'It's like you're a school boy.'_

_'How do you reach the top shelf? Do you get your mum to help?'_

_'Maybe you should eat more. Then you might grow.'_

"And that's why I never saw that fucker again."

Levi shrugged his creased shirt on, mood dark and thunderous as he contemplated where life would take him next. Erwin was the man of his dreams, as cheesy as that sounded, but it appeared to be true - he'd never really had a type, however when he got assigned a new route at work and saw that bronzed mountain of humanity for the first time, he knew exactly what his 'type' was. Taller. Handsome. Kind. Perfect blue eyes. Slightly unsure of himself and adorably clumsy. A body that made Levi think up some horrifically lewd scenarios, gave him a focus point every night without fail.

"Is this even a fucking date?" He did the buttons up slowly, ignoring how crumpled his garment was and spoke softly in the quiet apartment. "I think it is. But what do I know? And even if it is, he'll take one look at me and piss himself laughing."

The outfit lacked finishing details, far too casual and Levi turned to the hook secured on his door, scruffy leather jacket lifted to reveal the only other outerwear he owned. It was a black blazer, fitted to suit his petite frame, smart and well tailored…but made from velvet.

_Why did I buy this piece of shit? It's going to be hot anyway. No jacket._

He rolled the shirt sleeves up to the elbow, intending on a less 'business-like' impression and once again checked out his reflection, fake grin plastered on which made him look rather demonic.

"Don't smile, Levi. Just be you. Whatever that is."

A last pose was tried out, nonchalant and easy. Better, but Levi couldn't stamp down the nerves which already buzzed inside of him at this early stage - by Friday he would be a total wreck.

~~~~~~

Tuesday brought yet more sweltering heat, temperature nowhere near abating however Erwin smiled to himself, the addition of another person in his booth lifting his spirits. Again they worked together relatively seamlessly, swaying past each other, arms snaking round to grab what was needed, the occasional bump or brush of skin coming with apologies and a spark of excitement. Levi had decided to postpone any sculpting until evening, cut his market 'stall' exposure out of the schedule for this week; something had told him to spend time with his potential date, a prelude to getting to know one another.

Luckily, Erwin didn't seem to mind the uninvited visit after all a scheduled deliveries had been made, simply accepted the company of the worn-out man with a warm nod and beaming features. The taller male could feel his stomach jumping with each incident of physical contact, none of it intentional as far as he could tell and he found some bravery, stepping carefully in a little circle to turn. Levi was facing away, scrubbing at a plate in the tiny sink and a cobalt gaze traced over the figure in view, head stooping closer until he was an inch from onyx hair.

Erwin clenched his fists, nervous energy causing him to flex his curled fingers in and out, the sensation of eagerness almost taking over…he could just reach out, place his shaking palms on Levi's waist and pull the other man inwards, experience another's warmth against his body, taste delightful heat. He'd never exactly been an expert in dating but also hadn't suffered this kind of crippling need before; it was as if he were a shy teen again, skills forgotten and replaced by self-conscious ineptitude. All it would take was a simple movement though, a tiny stretch and they would be connected finally.

Erwin's muscles had ceased to function, feet rooted to the spot and arms useless as he started to find it hard to breathe, focus waning and blurred. As it turned out, he needn't have worried about making a bold move and fate stepped in to take his choice away. Levi remained oblivious, the sound of running water filling his ears and he bent, face down to inspect the crockery he worked on, his innocent action coming with the most unexpected of side effects.

Of course it was a tight squeeze in the small shack, however the shorter of the pair hadn't counted on landing ass first into a solid thigh, a faint huff of surprise sounding out from behind. Levi's eyes grew wider, lips parting in shock and he didn't dare move, hands still in the sink as he started to blush at the instant stirring below. It was the closest he'd been to someone in quite some time, unceremoniously pressed against a leg and he couldn't control the whispered whimper that crept from his open mouth.

It all happened in a flash, but time stood still for Erwin and he stared down at the wondrous image, took a mental snapshot before it disappeared - all this time dreaming of such a position, albeit unclothed, and here they were…

Levi came to, blinked once and straightened, spinning round so that grey met blue, equally round gazes connecting for a split second. The dark haired man looked to the floor, shifting to his right with a mumbled excuse.

"Sorry…I…I didn't mean to…"

Erwin was similarly flustered, however found the chance to revel in the pink tipped ears which told of the other's rather cute flushed cheeks.

"No…my fault…sorry…I'll…just...this way…"

They danced that painful waltz which every human had fallen victim to at least once in their lives, both stepping in the same direction at the same time. It took until the fourth failed attempt and Levi spoke meekly as he pointed.

"I'll go here, you go there?"

"Sounds like a plan."

The two shared a brief smile, apprehensive and embarrassed nods given whilst work was picked up again, Erwin's whistled tune a bit on the over-enthusiastic side as he tried to cleanse his mind of the ungodly thoughts now firmly lodged within. Levi's imagination wasn't anywhere near angelic either, vivid scenario laying starkly behind glazed eyes and they continued the chores, an occasional glimpse stolen over shoulders, some which occurred in tandem alongside tiny amused twitches of the lips. Friday was most certainly a date.

Due to Erwin's impending shopping spree, he moved with a faster pace than usual, something which Levi unconsciously mirrored so by 4pm the booth was spotless and ready to close, shutter rolled down to mark the end of another day and the helper commented on the change in routine.

"Closing early?"

"Yea, I have stuff to do with my dad."

"Nice."

There was a heavy silence, neither knowing how exactly to say their goodbyes after the meaningful looks which had been shared, not to mention the 'incident' but the pause was broken for them, annoying rattling and a disembodied voice coming from the locked hatch.

"Hey? I want coffee!"

The prospective customer was plainly disgruntled at the untimely shutting of his favoured place, fist banging against metal once more.

"I said, I want coffee!"

Levi bristled with hatred, his very bones despising such behaviour towards Erwin and all of the pretentious dicks he'd had to listen to came crashing in like a tornado, destruction his main aim. The blonde could see the switch, noted a clenched jaw and he motioned to his guest, soundless but physically mouthed words passing between them.

_'Shhh he'll go away'_

_'He can fuck off'_

_'Just shhhh'_

_'No, he's a fucking idiot'_

Nothing happened and collective breaths were held, waiting for another assault and Levi was not left disappointed.

"Seriously, you need to open up! Who said you could close early?"

"Sorry, what?"

The now fuming courier couldn't keep quiet anymore, had seen how badly these selfish patrons treated Erwin and he held up a hand when the larger male started to protest, palm landing squarely on a broad chest. Their eyes locked, an entirely different energy flowing between them to the prior event and Erwin swore he saw a deep and savage gleam circling intense steel, determination oozing from Levi's sometimes delicate yet potentially violent face. It was this combination never seen before which enlightened the cafe owner to his feelings - here stood a person who embodied fervent protection, similar to how Erwin found his own heart to be screaming. Care. Shelter. Support.

Levi didn't waver, stayed defiant and lifted one brow as they waited for a reply to his venemous hiss, man on the outside seeming to be considering his next move and Erwin gave a sideways smirk, allowed this sensation of being safe to wash over his whole being, permeate his bones and provide solace. He nodded once, cocked his head to the side as the predicted response came, their stares still trained on one another.

"Are you going to serve me or what?"

The voice sounded milder, an uncertainty threaded through his demanding words and Levi scowled at the hatch, burning virtual holes with pure mercury pinpricks. His hand stayed in position though, not through any purposeful reaction; it was an instinct, like the way a parent would throw their arm across a child in the passenger seat of a car when facing a collision. He replied smoothly, tone rich as melted chocolate and laced with poison.

"We're closed, Sir. And if you want to keep all of your limbs intact, I suggest you move the fuck on right now before something untoward happens."

"You…you're threatening me?"

"Well, yea. What else do you think I'm fucking doing?"

"But…you can't do that!"

"Why not? You come up here demanding a drink which, by the way, you are not fucking entitled to. There is an actual person in here, not some kind of machine that you can hurl instructions at."

"I know…I…I…"

"Now fuck off." They waited, unsure little scuffs of feet coming from outside until eventually the noise grew quieter, disgruntled human giving up to seek liquid elsewhere and Levi raised his voice. "Thank you, please come again."

Erwin giggled, hand held over his mouth like a high class lady as the other male huffed once, trying to avoid crumbling into a heap and worshipping the very ground the blonde stood on. Instead he turned, finally releasing his touch and Levi busied himself with paper cups, stacking where it wasn't needed, moving when not required, anything to keep him occupied and planted securely on Earth. The statue above loomed down, an idea springing to mind which made his evening suddenly fuller than before. Something bothered his soul though, a persistent gnawing prickle which would not rest until vocalised.

"You shouldn't let people talk to you like a piece of shit, Erwin."

The vehemence behind his words cancelled out any chance of reply - it wasn't a conversation, merely a statement and Erwin once again sat happily in a nest of appreciation, content to accept what was a compliment.

With the door now locked, the pair hung around in the baking afternoon sun, arguably the hottest time of day and it leant itself well to the purpose of excuses, reddened cheeks explained by temperature rather than flustered tension. Erwin's cart lay packed to one side, Levi's bike propped in a pale hand as they looked across the pedestrian square, every inch scoured like something interesting sat behind each corner, a way to avoid farewells and the taller man cleared his throat, sadly aware of his other appointments.

"Well…I'd best be going. Thanks for your help, Levi. You didn't have to…"

"If you'd rather I didn't come by..."

"No! I like the company! I mean, that is if you don't mind…?"

"It's fine Erwin, I just don't want to impose."

"You're not."

"Ok then."

"Ok."

Still they lingered, neither male ready to part ways yet not able to fill the space with words, a lack of any tasks accentuating the silence. Nervous glances came from beneath two sets of eyebrows, fingers fiddled with clothing and Levi sighed quietly, wishing for a better library of social skills to call upon and he nodded once.

"So, see you tomorrow?"

"Yea, of course."

"Have fun with your dad."

"I won't."

"Oh?"

"Shopping, Levi. That is never fun."

"Ah. Well rather you than me, Erwin."

They took that as a cue, waves shared and Levi strolled away, waiting for the main road to mount his bike and he pedalled off quickly, urgency now pumping through his veins. No matter what 'this' turned out to be between them, the very real prospect of some day visiting one another's homes meant some changes had to be made.

_Imagine if he came round and saw all the statues I made at the weekend? Loads of little fucking Erwins lined up? Enough to make anyone turn and run._

There was never a guarantee that they'd sell so he had to start now, decision made to keep quiet about how he'd made the small effigy now on display in the booth - to model so many after someone he didn't even know sounded bad enough, let alone having Erwin find out.

_He'd probably think I was some kind of creep. Maybe I am._

~~~~~~

Clothes shopping turned out to be less painful than initially thought, only two stores visited before finding the holy grail - a shirt made for well-built bodies. Erwin was pleased with his purchase, the crisp white item hanging casually over his arm in a thick paper bag, their evening stretching out a bit longer as his father excitedly made a pilgrimage to the marketplace. It meant baking would be delayed, a later night on the cards but he couldn't deny the look of glee on his dad's face when agreeing to make the short visit. Something about the treasure trove of goods on offer made the older man giddy, hope in his heart that a rare gem would be unearthed, or a trinket he never knew he needed.

A quieter scene greeted them, Tuesday night much more reserved and they made plans to meet at the other end, cover the ground they wanted to as individuals and cut the time it would take to do so. Erwin lazily cast his eye over paintings, knitted animals, handmade soap, picking the occasional thing up but ultimately finding nothing that interested him.

_A quirky cookie cutter would be nice. Something different for me to sell. I can cook but anything crafty is beyond my skills. Shame._

He wandered further, music playing from one seller's stall which gave a rather ethnic atmosphere to the area, pan pipes and the likes. Erwin looked at the goods on display, incense sticks and bracelets made from colourful thread, a particular green one standing out but before he could reach to touch it, an almost inaudible grumble drifted across under the soothing harmony.

"Turn that shit off, it's giving me a fucking headache."

The vendor didn't even register the insult, merely carried on swaying to the beat as she smiled gently at nothing in particular but Erwin's ears pricked up, a familiar sound having piqued his interest. He stared to the side, no stall for a few metres.

_That's odd. Where did that come from? Was it…? No, it couldn't be._

He frowned, bending to the left and a small corner of fabric could be seen, an unmemorable blanket that would mean little to anyone else however he recognised it instantly, the flecks of brown paint matching his kiosk and with curious anticipation, Erwin approached. 


	7. Long Night

A compact figure was sitting cross legged on the blanket, cigarette burning between lithe fingers and beer bottle within easy reach, the setting sun casting beautiful colours across perfect arms and a handsome face, accentuating tints in onyx hair which made the usually plain black crown come alive with multifaceted hues. Erwin could barely draw breath, stared down at the hunched man on the ground and he moved a step closer, eyes taking in the veritable army of statues laid out for sale. They were amazing, every last one sparkling in the waning light, a delightful mixture of red and blue which gave depth to what was essentially a lump of clay.

He crouched, hand reaching out to pick one up - another nude piece, tastefully executed of course, miniature man curled into a foetal ball of what appeared to be angst or pain, the face calm yet distressed, such detail and emotion imbued in the sculpture. Erwin had gone unnoticed, Levi's gaze firmly on his own lap as he presumably allowed potential customers to take their time, didn't pressure or drive a hard sale, simply let fate lead the way.

Seeing his own likeness staring back at him didn't repulse Erwin in the slightest, he felt no fear and no sense of danger. If anything, he was flattered. Who else in the world had ever put so much effort into creating something like this? No one he knew, that was for sure. His list of partners wasn't lengthy by any means, wasn't filled with regret or horror stories, however they had all been rather…boring. Normal. Nothing special. Levi was not his, not yet, but already he'd done so much more than any actual lover. He'd made an impression.

The heavy model weighed down on Erwin's palm as he traced a finger over the distraught features, gently followed each curve and muscle, enraptured by the quality and craftsmanship which had been employed by it's maker. Levi certainly was full of surprises.

"I can do one half price if you buy three."

The voice startled Erwin from his daydream and he snapped his head up, grey eyes still trained downwards and smoke drifted from between parted lips, expelled by each word as the cloud rose to the heavens, a lazy action which spoke of fatigue. The potential customer paused, unsure of what to do next. He could just leave, pretend this had never happened, but what good would that do? His alternative was to swallow back nerves and actually talk to the man, a better option however that meant he'd need to think of what to say.

Levi grew impatient, wondered why this person wasn't making the usual 'hmm' and 'well, maybe if you offered another deal' noises and sighed, cigarette crushed harshly on the pavement. Finally he raised his lids, effort needed for even the small movement as lack of sleep began to make itself known and he gasped, brilliant blue staring back with shock and something else. Admiration? Gratitude? He couldn't quite pick out exactly what, but it felt warm.

Again, neither had the ability to converse and they simply stayed in that position, mouths working with intended language and Erwin smiled, eyes fluttering closed as he nodded. In that one gesture he explained acceptance and thanks, spelled out that there was nothing to be afraid of and Levi swore he was floating, head light and airy as if drugged. His body tingled, hands numb,. skin cold and hot all at once, a cool sweat breaking out as he leant forwards, limbs acting on their own instructions and he tapped the figure in Erwin's grasp.

"That one's free."

"I…no, Levi. No."

"Call it payment for all the food and drink you keep giving me."

"But that's because I want to?"

Levi shrugged, palms up in a rhetorical question and Erwin understood instantly - this was also out of a desire to provide a gift.

"I'll wrap it for you."

"I can carry it."

"Be careful then. You don't want to drop it."

"Trust me, I won't."

Another silent moment engulfed the pair, panpipe music forgotten and blurring into the background as they shared a personal few seconds, no one else existing and Levi felt his cheeks start to burn, confession bubbling in his chest like acid despite the earlier approval.

"I…I'm not a freak, ok? I do other designs too."

"Levi? Why would I think you're a freak?"

"Just look Erwin. Aren't you even a little bit weirded out by this shit?"

"Not at all. It's a compliment." Erwin sensed the other man's discomfort, could understand why he'd be embarrassed or ashamed at being 'found out' and he had his own little internal volcano to contend with, truth knocking against his ribs and demanding to be set free. He glanced down, spoke to the statue instead and muttered quietly. "I bought that iced tea especially for you. Got the best I could find. I don't sell it."

"Thank you."

They locked gazes again, warmth passed from one to the other as they found themselves on a more level playing field, each just as smitten as the next, it seemed. Emotions did strange things to a person, kept another individual in mind at all times, even when carrying out mundane acts such as ordering supplies. Levi couldn't help it, all of his works ending up resembling one man alone, an obsession almost and he started to speak, new found guts making him bolder and on the cusp of asking Erwin out tomorrow after work.

"Do you maybe want to…"

"Ahhh you found him! Isn't he talented?" Erwin's father grinned, hunched down to look over the new display of figurines and he looked to his son, eyed the other man and quickly assessed the situation, arm extended across the blanket. "Levi, I presume? I must say, I am so excited to finally meet you! I have to ask. Don't you think his shirts are on the wrong side of tight?"

"Thanks Dad, time to go."

"But…"

"Now."

Erwin had morphed into a shade resembling beetroot, jaw clenched and he rose, followed swiftly by his father and a bemused looking Levi.

"But Erwin, I'm talking! Now Levi, look after this one. He might be big but really he's just a little teddy…"

"Back to the home, Dad."

"I might have trouble getting around but I'm not senile."

The larger male dragged his inappropriate parent away by the hand, apologetic glare shot towards Levi and the sculptor shook his head, smirk flickering in the corners of his mouth and he watched the urgent exodus with a lifted soul and more than a little bit of mischief.

"Dad!" Erwin hissed lowly, crowds cut through with haste as he put much needed distance between him and the person he most definitely did not need embarrassing in front of. "What are you playing at? Trying to stop any chance I might have before it happens?"

"Don't be so melodramatic, Erwin. I want to get to know the man who stole my boy's heart."

"Stole my…? Oh god, you are ridiculous sometimes."

"Tell me I'm wrong." He stopped abruptly, tone strict. "Look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong."

"Dad…"

"Look. Me. In. The. Eye." He prodded at his son's chest emphatically, using a well known parenting technique which never failed. Erwin couldn't lie to him and he knew it. "See? You can't."

"Only because you're being silly."

"Erwin?"

That was a warning, shots about to be fired and Erwin slumped, shoulders lowered and sufficiently admonished.

"Ok. I like him. Happy?"

"Happy? Well, I'm glad you've found someone that makes you feel this way but what is with the shyness? How long have you been pining after him?"

"I don't want to talk about it, dad."

"Why not? There's nothing wrong with it! I just wish you could be more honest with yourself."

Those words rang in Erwin's ears all night, played on his mind whilst baking tomorrow's pastries and he wiped flour onto his floral apron, tired eyes feeling thick and swollen as the next batch of sandwiches were made, one with extra care and attention.

_I am honest, right? Shit. I don't know why I'm acting like this. It's never happened before._

"The only thing I can do is hope that Friday is a bit easier, otherwise he'll think I'm a complete fool."

Erwin spoke to his messy kitchen, cut bread and built savoury delights of towering meat and fillings as his thoughts turned to more practical things like finances. His projected earnings well outweighed the overheads and he mentally calculated the passage of time, gauged how long it would be before a bigger premises could be rented, expand his business, maybe even hire staff.

"That's years away."

It didn't put him off though, carefully saved money sitting safely in the bank and accruing meagre interest, better than nothing he supposed and moved on to the icing process, muffins topped with messy splashes of the sweet frosting as the clock struck midnight.

Levi lay on top of the covers, hair tied back to prevent it from sticking to his neck, completely naked and still way too hot. He rolled onto one side, eyes squeezed shut but sleep was far from attainable, so another position was tried out - starfish. That brought some kind of reprieve, cooler sheets pressed against burning skin however he knew it would be short-lived, only a matter of time before those patches reached unkind temperatures too. He squirmed, shifting around like he was in the midst of a fever and with a final defeated huff, Levi sat up.

"How am I supposed to fucking sleep in this?"

He rose, pacing the small apartment to create a breeze and his broken fan was pushed half-heartedly, a small token of annoyance shown to the inanimate object. One hour. He'd managed a single sixty minutes of sleep before being woken by the suffocating mugginess, a long day ending with an even longer night and as his alarm clock clicked round to 12:00, he sighed.

"I'm going to be fucked tomorrow."

In order to pass the time, he counted up his takings again for the evening, a modest sum for an early week market and the cash was once more secured in a metal box, key slipped into the drawer behind socks and money hidden elsewhere. You could never be too safe. Levi checked his door locks, an habitual routine and he pulled at the three sturdy knobs, rattled the chain and nodded. Earlier in life, back in his mother's home, there had been a break-in whilst they slept, most of their possessions stolen away as dreams were processed upstairs, something he would never forget.

Levi was only six years old at the time and he could still recall the sobbing sounds upon waking, his mum's tears bitter and regretful. She'd been a good woman, a kind and gentle mother, wise and patient, everything a young boy could hope for in a parent but after the home invasion she panicked, acutely aware that a mere slight female wouldn't be able to defend her son. And that was how his uncle had come to live with them. For protection. It didn't make him feel any safer, impressionable mind recalling the policeman's words - unlocked. No forced entry. Use your keys in future.

So he developed a ritual, checking each door and window before bed until he couldn't function without it, the repetitive behaviour yet another way for his uncle to take the piss. He called Levi names, berated him for being mollycoddled and under too much of a feminine influence, told him he needed to 'man up' constantly, but it never went further than words. Initially. His mother was indeed a good woman but an unfortunate one also, taken too soon from the world by a congenital heart defect, something that had gone unnoticed until she passed on in her sleep.

Levi had been thirteen when he'd found her lifeless body. It made no sense to suddenly see his mum lying there prone when the night before she'd been laughing and joking at bedtime, an hereditary condition stealing the beautiful shining light of his life away.

Another circuit of the room brought Levi from his thoughts and to his nightstand, photo frame picked up as he smiled down at the snapshot of his mother. It still hurt, it hurt badly, but he knew she was somewhere, watching and taking care of him.

"I hope you're still proud of me."

He placed the picture back on the surface and flopped to his mattress, sticky heat seeming a little less overbearing and he allowed his lids to drop, seeking the elusive sleep which the body and mind craved so desperately.

Across town, Erwin glanced at the time and screamed quietly in his throat, lips pressed shut as pure frustration manifested in the growl, feet kicked on the sheets like a child throwing a tantrum. 1 am. Three hours until he had to be up to finish off the croissants and pastries. Three hours until the frantic rush began. Three pitiful hours.

"Why do I do it to myself?"

Erwin ran a fraught hand over his puffy eyes and shuffled over, hoping to get some breeze from the window which had been thrown wide open but the air was stagnant, not even a breath of wind and he felt like he was melting into the covers. Maybe he could wake a little later, take a tablet and have a lie-in for once…

_As long as I'm at the booth by half seven it should be fine. Right?_

It had gotten to decision time and Erwin strode to his bathroom, tiny sleeping aid snatched from the cabinet and he glared at the white pill, measuring what time the alarm would need to be set for. He swallowed it down dry, grimace given to his reflection - he hadn't needed a chemical prompt for years, the nightmares in his late teens having thankfully faded away. As Erwin lay in the darkened room he couldn't help but recall some of those terrors, vivid and recurring horror stories which all revolved around one thing. His father dying.

Everyone had concerns about a parent leaving them and Erwin had been through it once already, yet this always felt different, an abject fear which would invade him during waking moments too. It affected his school work, his mental state, his ability to be anywhere but by his dad's side and it got to the point where intervention was required. The professionals put it down to a kind of PTSD, the effects of the death of his mother in a violent manner which had seemingly laid dormant, perhaps woken by hormones and the stress of exams.

Erwin didn't want to be thinking of this now, head groggy as the medicine did it's job, images flashing onto closed lids in bloody sprays, uninvited non-memories that his younger mind had conjured up. He'd never seen the aftermath of the accident which took his mum, however what he could see in his mind's eye now seemed as real as if he'd been there, the factory fire bright and destructive. The workers would have escaped if it weren't for the illegal storage of chemicals on site, dangerous and flammable cannisters out in the open and not behind the correct sealed doors…as it transpired, no one survived. If they hadn't been caught by the flames, the explosion or falling masonry soon put any hope of fleeing to bed.

"Stop…just…go to fucking sleep."

The blonde wasn't usually a man of such foul language, had been brought up in a cuss-free home but sometimes it was called for and he finally grumbled his way with drowsy words into a dream-free slumber.

~~~~~~

People blurred in front of unfocussed pupils, became a mess of colours as the world's most sleep deprived courier wove in and out of human traffic, avoided feet and elbows through some type of cosmic luck. Levi was sure that today would be the day he crashed, took out some others in the process too and he could almost see the pile of bodies colliding into a heap on the ground, convinced that he'd come to harm at any second. One thing drove him onwards, the scheduled morning meeting shining like a beacon and he dismounted onto wobbly legs, sun not even bothering him right now - his tired-hangover was way too intense to allow any further discomfort.

Erwin's booth came into view like a mirage, wavy lines of brown refusing to create anything more substantial and Levi rubbed his eyes, tried to clear away the mess that was his vision and he yawned widely, covering his mouth with the back of an arm. Three customers stood between him and the only good thing about this wretched Wednesday, someone who even from this distance looked just as fucked as he felt.

Coffee was served with a smile, as always, just this time the expression seemed forced and insincere and Levi watched as what was presumably an espresso was despatched by the kiosk's resident, hot liquid tossed back like a shot of tequila. His turn arrived and a bottle of cold tea was passed over automatically, lid cracked already and he grunted his thanks, drink gulped with thirst.

Levi leant an arm on the hatch, bike lazily dropped and he threw one ankle over the other, gesturing around the square with his tea as he glared out.

"Who do we complain to about this fucking shitty weather?"

"I wish I knew, Levi."

"How much did you get?"

A dull grey gaze met an equally lifeless blue one, understanding shared once more and they nodded sagely as Erwin spoke.

"Maybe four hours. And that was with a sleeping pill and a lie in. You?"

"Same. Minus the pill. Not a bad idea though."

As the taller man made another tiny but strong coffee, Levi glanced down to see the hem of Erwin's shirt and noted how the buttons didn't match up, one side longer then the other and he hid a smirk behind the bottle, draining what remained and feeling slightly more alive.

"I swear if it doesn't cool down soon, I'm going to end up moving to Alaska."

"Let me know, Erwin. I may well just follow."

A few more patrons came and went, Levi being in no physical state to rush today and he stood to one side, out of their way until he reluctantly had to make a move, packet swapped for a signature and something else.

"Here."

"Thanks, you really don't need to feed me, Erwin."

"Someone needs to."

They gave groggy farewells, promise made to meet up again later and Levi walked slowly away, slightly perplexed.

_Did we just have a normal conversation? Act like actual adults? Well, fuck me. Funny what a lack of sleep can do._

Erwin stared after the retreating man, watched those attractive legs disappear around a corner and he shrugged to no one in particular, fuzzy brain not in any position to compute what had made today different.

~~~~~~

As usual, the pair operated smoothly inside the hot oven of a booth, electric fan doing little to help and they discussed their days with ease, no undertones of suggestive behaviour or awkward silence, however something was off centre, not right. At all. To Levi it felt as if they were friends, nothing more. The spark hadn't gone, far from it - he still found his thoughts drifting to the obscene but the fluent content of their conversation made that seem wrong.

Erwin too sensed a shift, put it down to being so goddamn tired and tried to ignore the situation. Crazy really. A perfectly nice afternoon chatting away, why was that bad? Actually, the talk had died down, men working in silence and the taller male looked round, Levi's powerful hands flattening boxes and sorting recyclables as Erwin readied the coffee machine for the last minute rush. Seeing as they had reached a place of comfort, he decided to chance a bold question and swallowed hard, nerves beginning to make themselves known.

"Why did you get upset about the statue?"

Levi froze, cardboard held tightly and that familiar creeping shyness started in his stomach, spread quickly throughout his whole being until he wanted to change the subject, ashamed of the honest answer but also desperate to tell Erwin, let him know just how much of an enormous crush he had on him. That would restore the balance, albeit at his expense and Levi sighed, turning to see wide cobalt staring from behind a meaty shoulder.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Y-yes?"

"Fine." The courier got back to his mashing of cartons, resigned posture making Erwin also face away - it was obviously easier to speak back to back. "I sold one to some dickhead who thought it would be a sure way to get in a guy's pants. I thought that guy was you."

Erwin blushed, mouth open as he fought for a response, words coming out in a whisper of disbelief.

"You…you were jealous?"

"No. I wasn't jealous."

Even Levi didn't trust his own voice, meek protest wholly unconvincing but the other man bumbled through an apologetic reply, now staring directly at onyx locks which were secured in a band.

"Of course…sorry...why would you…I mean, we're…"

He passed a finger through the air, motioning to them both and Levi faced him, expression unreadable however tone mild.

"We're…we're not…"

"No…"

Service was demanded before that could be taken any further, the two left perplexed yet back in a place they found consoling and the after-office-hours madness hit with force, kept Erwin busy until closing. Levi spent most of it outside in the shade, dragging on a smoke or watching the world go by, not wanting to get in the way of fast moving arms - one near-decapitation was enough to tell him that during busy times, only one person could occupy the booth.

After locking up, Levi lifted his bike and they exchanged wishes for a better night's sleep, gazes drifting every which way as the universe was restored, natural order resumed yet before leaving, the smaller man built up the courage to offer a parting shot, subject matter avoided until now.

"Your dad seems nice."

"Yea. More like overbearing."

"Nah, he's cool." Levi gave a small smile, hand casually waving over at Erwin. "And you can tell him that I rather like your tight shirts."

He practically ran away, rubber tyres whirring as they were pushed swiftly over paving slabs and Levi grit his teeth, tiny moan of 'did I just say that' coming from his core as an excited pedal home commenced. Erwin stood dumbfounded, small laugh given and he looked to the sky, a bashful grin on his lips and hope in his heart. He couldn't wait for Friday. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading! I will get to non-date night soon, I promise :)


	8. Anticipation

__

Thursday went by in a haze of oppressive heat, clammy bodies and bashful chats, business as usual back in play and slightly more hours of sleep enjoyed. One benefit of feeling so absolutely fucked all day was that rest had come easy, Erwin having cut his baking short due to an inability to see correctly, so the eve of their 'non-date' passed pleasantly. Today was a different matter entirely, jubilant yet tense emotions running high, a feeling matched by the dense and thick atmosphere which fell upon the city in a blanket of uncomfortable warmth. Levi could just about deal with the baking sun, thick layers of protective cream applied constantly throughout his time under those dangerous rays, but this…this was unbearable.

He pushed his bike along the street, not a pedestrian area however he had no energy to make much more effort, something akin to a ton of bricks weighing down upon his shoulders. His black hair was tied back but Levi's scalp still crawled, small half-moons of moisture gathered under his eyes and a glistening patch sprung up above his top lip, sweat invading every single piece of him and dragging him to the ground. Each step felt like walking through mud, painfully slow and verging on futile and when Levi breathed, only heat was to be found, lungs gulping in cruel puffs of fire.

He looked up to the skies, blue still barely visible through the recent addition of fearsome clouds, ones which made his neck prickle with electricity and held a suffocating grip tight around his throat. Even sunstroke sounded good right now, the pure effects of a real summer's day - anything would be better than gradually melting to death.

_I can't fucking do this…so heavy…_

Tired steps took Levi to a door, weak fist knocking only once as he leant on the handlebars, head bowed and a bead of liquid ran down his nose, waited on the tip with a mocking tickle before dripping to the floor, his chest heaving and starved of clean crisp air.

_This is how I go out…smothered by nature…fuck…_

His melodramatic thoughts grew darker, matched the blackening sky above as a shaking hand wiped across his brown, teeth grit and muscles begging to be relieved of duty.

_It would be on fucking Friday…I knew I'd never get to this evening...I just fucking knew something was gonna stop me from meeting Erwin tonight…I knew…_

"Hey, sweaty! Looking good!"

"Mike? Do me a favour and throw a shit load of water this way, yea? I'm dying."

"What have I told you about pushing so hard?" Mike took a bottle from the back pocket of his oversized and paint splattered jeans, three quarters full and he tossed it over, watching as his friend set the large backpack down. Levi sighed with relief, load lightened and he uncapped the drink, instantly gulping blessedly ice-cold liquid and he saved half, arm raised as Mike spoke again. "You need to be careful, Levi."

"Yea, I know."

He closed his eyes, face tilted to the heavens and the remaining fluid was poured over waiting skin, trailing down under his tee and creating shivers of ecstacy. Levi didn't care if he appeared stupid, simply revelled in sweet joy and the courier shook his head, drips spraying all around.

"I'm not sure if you look more like a model or a dog. I should've taken a picture." The sodden man glared, bottle fired back to it's owner while Mike continued. "Could've set you up an online dating profile with that kind of shot."

"Piss off."

"Seriously. That's some good shit right there." The taller man laughed kindly and invited his comrade in, care taken to not get too close as Levi struggled through the door with his bag. "Why didn't you use the box on your bike?"

"Too heavy. I'd have…been…on my ass in seconds…"

His exertion was evident, strained voice mirroring his posture and Levi stumbled sideways, caught by a huge well-timed hand.

"I said be careful, Levi! Jeez. Come here." Mike lifted the pack with a grunt, muttering about how stupid it was to be carrying such a weight and they walked to the kiln room, lesson not over yet. "When was your last check-up?"

"Two years ago."

"And that was way before this longer route you work now. You should go soon."

"I will."

"I mean it…"

"Mike, I'll fucking go, ok?"

The furnace had been reached, massive collection of figurines unwrapped and Levi worked fast, intent on getting them glazed, placed in the oven and then he'd make for cooler quarters, probably just the back lobby but at least it had air conditioning. These were all that remained of his clay, no more materials left at home and he'd decided to use Friday to fire them all, get it out the way so his weekend could be free.

_Not sure why. It's like I'm expecting something to happen tonight. Might fucking not. Probably won't._

"Levi?"

"Mmm?"

"Make an appointment."

"Yea."

There was no use in arguing with Mike - he was right. As usual. Having a close blood relative die from an hereditary condition meant that Levi would have regular check-ups for the rest of his life, slightly abnormal muscles around his heart pointing towards a potential problem in the future. His instructions were simple; eat healthily, don't over-exert himself and know the warning signs. In Levi's mind surely keeping fit was key, so he lived as he deemed appropriate, perhaps pushing the limits at times but he had a job to do. Without it, he'd have no way of supporting himself and he wasn't exactly suited to office work.

Across town, Erwin surveyed his surroundings, cast his warm blue gaze around the lazy afternoon scene and he sighed, hands wiped with a cloth as he looked upwards, taking a moment to appreciate the statue one more time. He found himself drawn to it, a magnetic pull that started in his stomach and gripped his attention, a new discovery made with each glance. The blonde was enthralled by the details, awestruck at how someone could make such a thing and he lifted the clay effigy carefully, fingers running over his small counterpart's own digits.

_It's so perfect…so precise. He's wasting his talent. Levi shouldn't be sitting on a blanket in a market. This needs to be shown to the whole world._

Their morning visit had gone by as usual, gripes shared over the humidity and how it played havoc with Erwin's hair, extra product employed today to tame his frizz-prone locks, something which was thankfully received well - such vanity may have sounded flippant, but Levi seemed to enjoy the little exchange.

_Hopefully I can keep it neat tonight. No one wants to go on a date with a ball of fuzz._

Arrangements had been made to meet again before closing, hash out the finer elements of when and where, check the weather forecast and just generally catch up, the smaller man's apologies given for having a busier schedule than in recent days. Erwin didn't mind though, took the absence of his new clear-up assistant as a good thing - less chatter now meant more this evening. He did feel a sense of emptiness though, their coy and somewhat child-like brand of flirting one of the things Erwin really relished, however being apart only caused more requirement, a deeper thirst for one another perhaps and he turned to serve a customer.

As steam poured from his coffee machine, Erwin squinted against the offending cloud and wished for a place where he could avoid it all together, not the closed-in shack which made evasion impossible. But this was all he could afford if his savings plan was to come to fruition so he made do, ignored the searing heat that combined with mother nature's own warmth and hoped his sweat wasn't too visible.

A daydream commenced, motions of making drinks coming out of habit and Erwin withdrew into his brain, regular pastime picked up and he became outwardly glazed, something only a friend or family member would notice. He talked to himself, querying what they might discuss tonight, wondering what Levi's family were like, his past, his passions. They already knew a sparse amount about the other, self-evident things such as Erwin's skills in baking and the courier's artistic flair, yet so much more lay beneath to be discovered.

_Some of which should remain unspoken._

Before his mind could turn bleak, Erwin moved on to another subject matter, a lighter option - clothes.

_The shirt fits well, even if Levi did say he liked them tight. Now…jeans or slacks? Shoes, loafers, sneakers? I don't want to look stupid. I'll shut early, have a try of everything._

The snug button-down he currently wore was literally plastered to his chest, surely transparent by now and Erwin grabbed a piece of absorbent paper, mopped his forehead and nape quickly so no one would see. Glancing at the time, he noted maybe another hour would have to pass before he saw Levi, short explanation on the clay-firing process delivered earlier so he knew it wasn't a simple case of 'in and out' and Erwin grew restless, foot tapping nervously on the floor in an old and almost forgotten irritable spasm which he couldn't stop once it had started.

An overdue call had been made from the beautifully air conditioned lobby, a few students giving Levi a quick look in passing due to his appearance - wet from another impromptu Evian shower, splattered in slightly coloured spots of varnish which had a petrol-like sheen and most certainly pissed off. He glared at the floor, drips of water collecting in a haphazard puddle beneath his bowed head and he huffed once, nodding to no one with a spiteful half-smile. His consultant had basically just ripped him a new one, and quite rightly so - all letters for an appointment had been ignored by Levi, piled up in a forgotten corner because of one simple thing. Fear. No one wanted to be told they'd be dying soon or to drastically amend their lifestyle.

In a way Levi envied his mother, blissfully unaware of any impending doom so she could live as a normal human being, no doctors or 'taking it easy', but he did wonder if there was anything she'd left unsaid, words forever formless and without sound.

"Like I can get the fucking words out anyway."

He grumbled quietly and rose, making the journey back into the pits of fiery hell slowly and with no energy.

~~~~~~

Erwin's mood lifted as soon as he saw his crush appear, the dark haired man striding with purpose towards the booth, usual bike in tow and a huge bag hanging from his back. It worried Erwin to witness such obvious strain and he flung the door open, rushing across the paved square to assist without a second thought.

"Here, let me take it. That pack is bigger than you!"

"Thanks for the…" Levi exhaled with effort as he gratefully offloaded his burden before continuing. "…help and the insult, Erwin."

"I didn't…I wasn't…" The blonde gave a small croak and searched his thoughts for a way to get out of this, cargo held with care as he knew what lay within. Erwin drew a blank, couldn't fathom how to turn this all around so he picked the first thing on his mind and blurted it out. "Your hair looks good tied back."

Levi watched as the other male blushed deeply, eyes to the ground and probably wishing the earth would swallow him whole, a cute display that dispelled any lingering self-annoyance. Feeling a tiny burst of excited energy, Levi smirked and spoke up before he lost his balls again.

"Your shirt looks good when it's wet."

The pair locked gazes, shorter of the two standing with arms crossed and a determined expression. Erwin swallowed back the gasp which tried to crawl from his chest and he attempted to assess Levi's stance - the ghost of a smile was evident and those intense moonlight eyes were more alive than he'd ever seen them, a glimmer of playful fun flashing briefly. Despite the guarded physical posture, his face told a different story and the large man gave a lopsided grin, shoulders raised in a shrug.

"Well, if…"

Erwin wasn't able to finish, interrupted by passing workers carrying metal barriers between them and one nodded in greeting, business gone about with no idea of what they'd just broken.

"If what?"

Levi was interested to find out the punchline, however Erwin's flow had been disturbed, back to bright red and full of indecent thoughts.

"N-nothing. Come on, we'd better move. There'll be more coming through."

He rushed into the booth, massive bag placed gently by the back door as Levi glared over at the men in yellow high-vis jackets, annoyed by their presence but also curious and he joined Erwin, got on with his usual chores.

"What are they doing?"

"Hmm?" The eldest jumped, still in an imaginary land which had progressed from being helped out of his damp clothing to full on nudity and he mumbled quietly, thinking that somehow to talk louder would reveal his darkest desires. "Setting up for tonight."

"Setting up? Like a concert?"

Erwin relaxed a little, smiled kindly and shook his head as he greeted a customer, their coffee and pastry gathered whilst replying and serving at the same time.

"The estate manager does this every so often.…thank you Madam, napkin? Ok, you have a good day. …where was I?"

"Estate manager."

"Ah yes." He became more animated, resting back against the wooden counter and hands waving to accompany the explanation. "He runs all of this around here. Maintenance, ground rent, building security, that kind of stuff. I guess he's like a landlord."

Erwin paused to grab two bottles of iced tea from the petite fridge, one tossed casually to Levi and they took a drink in silence, stamped out dehydration before the story was picked up again.

"Now and again he cordons off the square and we all have a party. Barbecue, drinks, music."

"Don't the public mind?"

"Even if they did, it's technically private property."

Their conversation was halted by a rumble of thunder, eyes cast skywards with trepidation and Erwin laughed nervously.

"Might be a fucking wash-out."

"They have little plastic gazebos, Levi."

"No gazebo is going to hold off this shitty storm."

They both prayed internally to whatever may be listening, begged for clement weather - of course the muggy atmosphere needed to break, provide some comfort but a rain-cancellation was not what either of them wanted for their first 'is it or isn't it' date.

Each deep growl from the heavens was ignored with difficulty, men tidying swiftly as the evening's preparations still needed to be carried out, clothing issues sorted and last-minute stage fright chased away. By the time the shutter was pulled down, the sense of gravity applied to both humidity and their situation and Erwin shuffled some cups around, brushed imaginary crumbs into his palm and he mused on which particular delicacy they came from - danish pastry? Muffin? Banana cake?

Levi cleared his throat and toed the floor, foot swept in small semicircles as he brought up the inevitable.

"So…timings?"

Erwin was in the land of consumables, wholly believing that he should answer with oven instructions at first until he came back to Earth, gaze wide and fretful, voice slightly shaky.

"Oh…umm…here at half seven? If that's ok? I mean you could be later if you want, that is…if you'd rather not be out so long, the parties can go on for some time and I don't want you to…"

"Half seven. I'll be here."

Once again, Levi had cut off the ramble expertly and given a sense of completion, shy smiles exchanged and he turned to leave as a workman from outside called over.

"Closed already, Smith? Got a minute to make me a latté?"

His request was met by an angry face jutting out from the open back door, small male looking as serious as the clouds above and the reply was cutting.

"No he fucking doesn't. People have lives besides you. Piss off." Levi retracted again quickly, eyes rolled at Erwin in disbelief. "The fucking entitlement…see you later, Erwin."

"Yea…thanks Levi. See you."

The courier hefted his bag and wheeled the bike away, shooting glares at the rude individual and grumbling lowly.

"Fucking 'got a minute.' All the shit's cleaned up, it would be more than a minute to do it all again, stupid asshole."

Erwin watched with an adrenaline filled heart, flattered at having his own bodyguard of sorts and he waved to the men as he left, no apologies made - Levi had been right. He did need to stand up for himself more often.

~~~~~~

Just over two hours had passed and Levi checked the mirror, turned side to side, monitored how the fabric moved when he did, making sure no malfunctions would occur during the night. Any storm had been held at bay but it did make for a distinctively sticky sensation all over, skin itchy and forehead wet despite recently showering. Not much could be done though, perils of the season and Levi swept his hair back, securing it just how Erwin seemed to like it.

_What if it's really not a date? What if he just asked out of having nothing better to say? Same with my hair?_

Uncertainty slid in, a familiar adversary and any bravado or air of not giving a shit dissolved away, leaving him empty and exposed. Dread joined the little gathering and Levi battled with hatred, something he'd grown weary of over the years yet it never really left him alone, ran through his DNA and formed a large part of his personality. With a final sigh, he straightened and stared at his reflection, now well and truly convinced that he was heading for heart break.

Erwin went through a similar ritual, only he had company, his father fussing around him and smoothing out errant creases. The older man spoke with passionate encouragement, made all the right noises however his son was oblivious, abject horror now deafening him in waves of roaring blood. Erwin's heartbeat sounded incredibly loud in his ears, beat it's primitive rhythm and cancelled out all else but one pure honesty - this was a mistake.

_It's going to be a disaster. I'll say something stupid and embarrass myself. He isn't actually interested in me at all. Just a big misunderstanding._

Anxious knots formed in his stomach, made him nasueous and sweat sprung up on his brow, much like the beginnings of a bad virus or food poisoning. Erwin was close to vomiting, kept swallowing down the bile in his throat but it was time…he had to make a decision. His dad's face blurred in and out of focus, full-on panic attack surely not far off and he struggled to hold onto sanity.

_All because of a date…_

That snapped Erwin out of his stupor, the truth now laid bare and words became sharp, conversation fully coherent and bright like pin pricks.

"…look fantastic, son. You'll be catching quite a few eyes this evening!"

"Thanks Dad."

"See what properly fitting clothes can do, eh?"

"Well, for your information…"

He trailed off, a wistful expression crossing handsome features and Erwin just kept that little piece of knowledge to himself - there was no need to tell his father about Levi's apparent shirt fetish.

"Yes?"

"Oh, nothing." The younger man turned slowly, arms out in question. "So, will I do?"

"Will you do?! Erwin, my boy. Listen to me. Go knock 'em dead."

The choice of phrase hit Erwin a tad harder than it should have, memories of clashing heads and his clumsy nature making the saying hold a different weight but he nodded nonetheless, eager now to get going. He took a quick glance around the apartment, spotted a pot on the stove and Erwin pointed over.

"Have you eaten, Dad?"

"Not yet. I couldn't bear to eat with this much excitement in my belly!"

"Make sure you do."

"Yes yes, I'm not your child." His father smiled broadly, hand reaching out to take a larger one. "You're a good boy, Erwin. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks."

"Now shoo. You're cutting into my game show time."

With warm grins, they parted company and Erwin left his dad's lodgings, nodding to the nurse whom he passed in the hall. Luckily his father didn't need their help yet, but he knew it would come one day.

Levi picked up his pace, shoes scuffing across dusty paths and a light wind blew to signal the impending downpour. He wasn't sure what to expect, knew that there would likely be quite a few people and that point bothered him; all he could really do was hope they left them alone in peace. Feeling distinctly underdressed, Levi approached the pedestrian square and stopped with a jolt to take in the scene.

Due to the darkening skies, it was already necessary even at this hour to have bulbs lit, strings of bright white lights hanging between the circle of wooden shacks and twined throughout plastic gazebos. Smoke billowed from a large grill, men gathered around it with beers and utensils in an age old tradition of masculinity, spatulas held high as personal opinions on the state of the meat were swapped. Music played from somewhere undetermined and a fair sized crowd was in attendance already, enough to fade into the background but not too many to become claustrophobic, something which softened Levi's anxiety levels.

And right in the middle of it all, surrounded by chatty happy faces, stood Erwin. They caught one another's eye, both experiencing the same sensations - breath got caught in their chests and bones seemed to liquify, a fuzzy and weightless feeling settling in. Levi was sure his lips had gone numb, sparks flashing across his mouth in electric tickles and he somehow lifted a hand in greeting, limb heavy as lead and expression like a rabbit in headlights.

Erwin nearly jumped up and down on the spot, ecstatic to see Levi arrive - part of him had worried the pale man would be a no show yet here he was, in the flesh and looking overwhelmed. Rather than call to him and wave like a lunatic, Erwin excused himself from the conversation he wasn't paying any attention to and walked slowly to join his plus-one for the event. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to get to date night but got side-tracked...


	9. Clarity

If he'd been thinking clearly, Levi would have hated himself for the one line going through his mind as the gathered crowds faded in and out of focus - _it's like no one else exists..._

He watched with a pounding chest as Erwin came closer, his appearance not that much different to normal but something about him exuded sex, more so than usual and Levi stood gazing upwards at the deep blue eyes which had come into clear view. Even Erwin's scent was intoxicating, a mixture of manliness and light cologne, warm flesh so near as they met, only inches apart. No words would manifest and Levi stared intently, grey pools widening slightly and heart fluttering.

Laughter and the sound of sizzling food became a distant buzz and the tallest of the pair smiled, watching the brazen gape unfold - bright silver was taking him in, trailing downwards and Erwin wondered what thought process lay inside the other man's head, his own cheeks reddening as he waited for the verdict.

Levi swiftly memorised every single thing about this moment - background noise and smells, his clammy palms, Erwin's breath which he could feel slightly in his hair, and of course the man himself. The blonde male's shirt was pristine, well-fitting and buttons under no stress, something that actually excited him more than the normal restrictive garment worn. It left so much to the imagination, told distant tales of solid muscle and tanned skin, teased almost with it's shrouding quality and Levi gulped, openly staring now as he no possible way of hiding it.

Sensible dark jeans and black shoes finished the look, denims neatly hanging with perfect lines and the younger man swore he could see his own face reflected from polished leather footwear. He did enjoy the flustered and over-worked Erwin, the person he'd become increasingly infatuated with on a daily basis, the individual usually flushed from effort and sporting one or two coffee stains, but this version was equally as delicious.

"Ummm…"

The rich deep voice jolted Levi from his daydream, head snapping up and lips parted as he attempted to excuse his behaviour, croaks forming incoherent words in his throat and he mumbled quietly.

"Nice shoes. Very...shiny."

"Thanks."

Now it was Erwin's turn to pause, hand rubbing nervously on his smooth, freshly shaved cheek and he took time to look at the man standing in front of him, distant rumbles of thunder causing some theatrical cries from a group of women behind however he only had the attention span for one person alone. Levi was glancing around with nervous flicks of the eyes, head bowed now and some strands of hair blew around his face, the rest swept back - had that been intentional? Erwin hoped so and he couldn't help but smile at the rest of his date's appearance.

The deep maroon shirt was crisp yet well worn, sleeves rolled up to the elbows and collar unfastened two buttons down, exposing a hint of appealing clavicle. Levi's slacks had seen better days but even from this angle, Erwin could tell they were tight and he resisted the urge to get a better view, moving on instead to the battered sneakers poking out from beneath dark pants. If the courier had turned up in top-end designer labels, Erwin would have been shocked; Levi didn't seem the type and if truth be told, the blonde was drawn to his casual air, the effortless clothing which fit so well to accentuate in all the right places.

_I wonder if he had the same trouble picking an outfit? Worried and fussed like me? Probably not. Levi could roll out of bed into an old sack and still look good. Shit…I'd better say something. It's too quiet. He's going to realise this was a bad idea…_

"I…I like your shirt."

An intense glare met scared cobalt, eyes searching for any sense of ridicule and a small furrow crept over Levi's brows, bridge of his nose wrinkling slightly and Erwin fought the need to plant a kiss right on that spot as a tiny smirk played on thin lips.

"This? Pretty sure it should be in a fucking museum but it's the only smart shit I own."

"No! I really do like it! The colour…um…it suits you."

Again the uneasy silence lay heavily over them both, shuffles of feet made and intakes of breath heard which denoted imminent speech but nothing was forthcoming at first, Levi eventually the one to break through the tension.

"So…"

"Yea…"

"Drink?"

"Yes!" Erwin clapped once, glad for a reason to move and he grinned, crazed expression masking his internal terror and he held out a hand, gesturing to the epicentre of the party. "The beers are cold. Hooked up power from one of the buildings and dragged a freezer unit over."

"Sensible."

"Couldn't have warm beer. Come!"

Erwin bounced away, nervy steps accentuated to create a rather comedic stride and Levi smiled, feet following automatically in the wake of what appeared to be an overly enthusiastic labrador and he found his gaze wandering to the blonde's ass, watched it sway from side to side in swift movements. He bit his bottom lip to hold back a whimper and dug nails into his palms, balled fists clenching.

_Stay fucking calm. This still might not be any more than just a friendly drink. Don't start imagining what's under those jeans._

But it was too late, naked skin already imprinted vividly on Levi's mind as he graciously accepted a glass bottle, large fingers brushing against his own for a millisecond of sublime contact and Erwin chugged his own drink down, positive that the dutch courage he'd already imbibed would soon be catching up on him. He could hold his alcohol well, body weight working in his favour but the sick sensation experienced earlier had forbade any form of dinner, stomach empty and quickly being filled with booze. To become drunk now would be a bad move, likely ending in embarrassment or stupidity so he took control, thumb jabbed over his shoulder.

"We should get something to eat while there's still food left?"

"Sure."

Levi examined what was on offer with a critical eye, not exactly an expert when it came to barbeques but he could tell a badly cooked sausage when he saw one, the outside burnt to fuck and the inside undoubtedly pink. Getting poisoned and quarantined to his small bathroom hadn't been on his to-do list tonight so he moved on to the burgers, thin discs of meat looking slightly less demonic. Men chatted casually to Erwin, all his colleagues of sorts and one pointed a metal pronged fork in Levi's general direction, already inebriated young male slurring over.

"I recognise you."

"That's nice."

Levi had no intention of starting small talk with anyone and glanced to the side, panic setting in when Erwin's muscular form was nowhere to be seen and he twisted round, desperately trying to source the one who had asked him here.

_It's happened already. Five minutes and he's already gone to find someone better to talk to. Fuck._

Now convinced the invitation was a spur of the moment thing, Levi felt intense stupidity as reality came crashing down - the effort he went to, all of the worry for this. A desolate emptiness was left in his very bones and it was all his fault for becoming so attached. How could he have been so idiotic to believe that Erwin would find him remotely attractive? How did he not see this was simply an act of kindness or friendship? His flesh prickled in cold waves of nausea, pissed off at himself more than anything and Levi resigned his aching soul to lonliness once more, ashamed mind already trying to figure out how to change his route at work to avoid a certain booth.

He was mildly aware of the 'chef' speaking but blocked him out, threw his head back to down the best part of his beer in one go and grimaced, determined expression set on a stony face as he turned to leave. What stopped him walking away wasn't second thoughts or a sudden boost in morale, it was a chest. Erwin's solid chest to be precise and he connected briefly with fresh linen, nose brushing against warmth as the tall man raised his full hands, saving what he carried in a dramatic fashion.

"Hey! Sorry, nearly knocked you over!"

The relief Levi felt washed over him, cool electricity replacing harsh abandonment and he saw the look on Erwin's face, pure apology mixed with genuine appreciation and he realised instantly that this was anything but an act of friendship. Cobalt discs stared down, wide and comforting, the way in which one might look at a beloved family member or cherished possession, totally honest and Levi fought the need to wrap his arms around a thick waist, composing himself instead. It gave him a chance to assess the scene; ridiculous powder blue cocktails lay in Erwin's grip, embellished by streamers and decorations, his red cheeks suggesting his beer had been despatched in the same hasty manner and Levi smirked.

"What the hell are those?"

He raised a finger, pointing upwards and observing the obvious childish glee on the blonde's handsome face.

"I thought it would be nice to try something different." Erwin shrugged, passing the drink over and holding his own aloft to tap glass against glass. "Cheers."

They sipped slowly, another sentence knocking hard at Erwin's ribs and he used the recent rushed trip to his advantage. While Levi had been surveying the food on offer, he'd taken the chance to gather more alcohol, a shot of sambuca also downed to hopefully help steady his nerves. He lowered his cocktail, mirrored by Levi and they stood surrounded by meaningless conversations, stares trained only on each other as Erwin took a deep breath and put on his most sultry voice.

"I also thought the colour suited your eyes."

Waiting for any kind of retribution, he kept his resolve, grasp tightening on the drink but maintaining a hopefully flawless exterior, partially afraid of setting off the temper that he knew lay just underneath Levi's surface. No explosive rant came, no protests, just parted lips and shifting eyes as the courier processed what had just been said, sneakers studied and ground kicked at. He pushed a sleeve up with his free hand, pointless action buying himself time and he mumbled to the floor.

"Suits yours too." Their gazes met once again, solidifying the truth and all fears were dispelled with a shared small nod. Erwin's mouth broke into a grin, a cracked laugh escaping and he finally started to relax, shoulders dropped as a soft sigh of release came from Levi's nose, standard personality delivering a darkly humourous line to chase away any fearful emotions. "Better steer clear of those sausages if you don't want to be shitting through the eye of a needle all night."

Erwin chuckled as they turned in tandem, suspiciously examining the sizzling meat and he placed his palm on the small of Levi's back without thinking, hunching over the shorter man's frame from behind to see what flavour of stomach ache he would choose this time. Levi felt every muscle weaken at the touch, his legs useless and he supported himself on the fold-away table, hand keeping his rubbery figure from collapsing through sheer happiness and when a thoughtful hum sounded close in his ear, he nearly lost control.

A warm human was pressed against his back, busy crowd dictating that they stand in this manner however the practicalities didn't enter Levi's mind, only the incredible experience of being so near and he gulped hard, dizzying pleasure making his head light.

"You're right about the sausages, Levi."

"Mmm…"

"Those burgers look mildly edible though. Fancy one?"

"Mmm…"

"You ok?"

"Yes!" The shrill tone was unexpected by both parties, startling them briefly and Erwin shook it off, arm now moving to point over Levi's shoulder for attention. It resulted in a hug of sorts, the tallest of the two still oblivious - it was as if their unspoken understanding had alleviated him of any clumsy or childish behaviour, comfortable now to act with unconscious physical means and he called for service.

"Jean? Two burgers, please."

Jean hefted the fork and bent to concentrate on his job, alcohol intake making it that much more difficult to coordinate putting the food together and he made a concerted effort, buns filled carefully and handed over like passing a newborn to the proud parents. That's when he stopped to pay attention, clouded vision staring and he smiled, utensil waved haphazardly.

"Ah, now I know where I recognise you from!"

He started to laugh, the image before him too good to miss; Erwin stood towering over the dark haired individual, arm still resting on one of his shoulders and expression mildly confused. The newcomer to their gathering combined thunderous anger with bashful shyness, brows low and eyes glaring but cheeks dusted pink, a strange semi-smirk on his lips as he was engulfed by the blonde's massive body.

"Where's that then, Jean?"

"He's been hanging around your booth for ages Erwin. Everyone noticed. Finally decided to ask him out then, eh?"

"I…we…" Erwin wasn't ashamed yet found it hard to talk about his private life with the neighbouring kiosk's occupant. They were passing acquaintances at best and he straightened, leaving Levi with a sudden emptiness and desire to feel weight upon him again. "That's none of your business."

"Don't be coy. You can tell your good buddy Jean. Give me some juicy gossip to…"

"He said it's none of your business, so leave it alone unless you want that fork in your fucking ball sack."

Jean instantly blanched, something in the snarled words causing him to believe the threat and he ran his hand through light hair, all bravado gone and replaced by indignation.

"Ok, no need to get offensive. I was just chatting."

"Well don't."

They played out a battle of wills, each unknowingly as stubborn as the other but Jean backed down first, his inebriated brain not able to keep up the show of strength.

"Whatever. I got shit to do anyway."

He busied himself with charred meat, muttering to the produce as the two men left, grasps full of consumables. Levi drained the baby blue drink and glanced around, unsure where to put the empty glass and Erwin nodded over.

"There's a few different bars but you can take it to any of them."

"Thanks."

"Get us two more?"

Their evening progressed in light talk and stories, sweet cocktails flowing freely and after a couple of hours the lack of any gut complaints suggested Jean's burgers had been safe, the man in question having disappeared shortly after serving them. Erwin had frequent visitors where they stood and Levi listened to each interaction with keen ears, picking up little anecdotes and slices of his date's life. No more physical contact had occurred and as the courier dragged on a thin roll-up cigarette, he gazed over Erwin's casual stance and friendly demeanour as he spoke to an aging woman, her fading grey hair styled dramatically.

The café owner held a brief conversation, all the right things said and Levi exhaled slowly, smoke drifting up to join the ever-present crashes of thunder above as he wondered how Erwin was so perfect, not a bad bone in his body. So far he'd learnt of a good father/son relationship, a steady work ethic and clean living, practically his own opposite so Levi had been reticent to share too much. Most of the talk on his part had been around his art, Erwin's enthusiasm and honest appreciation leading to anatomy speak and the sad truth around how expensive education could be.

They knew they were both only-children, motherless at a young age but no further information had been swapped on that subject - this wasn't the time nor the place. As the elderly lady left with a smile to the pair, Erwin shuffled closer, no longer counting how many drinks he'd had and he stooped, whispering into Levi's ear.

"She's absolutely bonkers, that one. Nice as you can find but totally insane."

Tickles of breath curled around Levi's lobe, lips so near they almost touched his skin and he tilted his head slightly out of instinct, neck stretched and flesh bared. His lids fluttered shut, taking even an unintentional event as a beautiful gesture and he counted to five, told the growing ball of want in his stomach to calm the fuck down and he kept up the discussion.

"How come?"

"Not sure. But you can tell." Erwin giggled, head bowed and resting atop onyx strands. He sniffed deeply, inhibitions now as thin as paper and a large palm rested on Levi's shoulder. "You smell nice."

"Thanks…I showered."

_I showered?! Brilliant. Someone pays you a compliment whilst burying their face in your hair and that's all you can fucking say? Turn around. Kiss him for fuck sakes…_

"Smith! Enjoying the free bar, I see?"

Levi sighed, eyes open to witness the next in a long line of interruptions and he looked up at the man standing beside them, Erwin upright again with flushed cheeks.

"Hi Nile. Of course I am! Nile, Levi. Levi, Nile. He's the one I was telling you about, the guy who organises these parties."

"Ah. The landlord?"

"I'm much more than just a landlord!"

Nile launched into a soliloquy based on his self-inflated position and Levi observed with growing distaste, fixated on the man's ratty facial hair and obvious pride. It added fuel to his fire of disgruntlement, a moment shared which had been cut short but he held his tongue, not wanting to get Erwin in trouble.

"Anyway, at least there's a nice refreshing breeze tonight? Take the edge off?"

"It's about as refreshing as one of Satan's farts."

Nile grimaced, looking upon Levi as if he'd just slapped him across the cheeks and he opened his mouth to retort. Luckily another couple of men joined in, their three-way chatter moving on and Levi grabbed Erwin's wrist, pulling him back into the shadows with a curled lip.

"He certainly likes the sound of his own fucking voice."

"Yea. He's ok. We go quite far back. For all his talk though, he takes orders like the rest of us. I think he wants more from life."

"Don't we all." Levi scowled over, Nile's tone loud and grating. That's when he had an idea, showing his age perhaps as his teenage years were not that far behind him. "I've got a plan."

Erwin looked down, saw the epitome of mischief fixed upon the face he loved to gaze at and it sent a shiver up his spine, the tiny smile and flashing eyes making him imagine seeing that expression as Levi straddled his waist, legs tight against his own, hips rolling and hands on his chest…

"What?" The question was raw and deep, mental images still starkly emblazoned on his brain like a tattoo. Levi's conspirital and cheeky stare scared and aroused him in equal measures, cock twitching at the thought and Erwin licked his bottom lip once, brows raised. "What's your plan?"

"Make him shut the fuck up. Leave us in peace."

"How?"

Erwin was hanging on Levi's every word, couldn't stop picturing him naked, riding him into next week and he sobered instantly, wholly enraptured.

"I spotted something by the barbeque. Come on."

Regardless of the apparent prank, Erwin was turned on by the entire situation, holding in laughs as his counterpart snatched a small but potent item from the condiment stand, red liquid promising distress. Levi waved the Tabasco in between two fingers, dangling the bottle with a smirk and an eyebrow jerked up as he silently asked for approval.

"Levi…you can't…"

It felt like being at school again and despite his words, Erwin grinned and nodded, allowing himself to be carried along with the excitement. They slipped through party-goers, snaking their way to where Nile had last been seen and they halted by a refrigerated unit, clocking which drink belonged to their target. Levi had already taken note, knew that the landlord was on the red wine, a perfect disguise and they crept closer, large wooden barrel acting as a table which contained three glasses.

Nile was full flow, arms spread wide and addressing a captive audience as they approached unseen, hearts racing and stares verging on wild. Levi took the lid off, picked at the plastic cap which would usually prevent more than a drop from coming out and he poured the entire contents into the quarter-full maroon glass of alcohol, a gasp from Erwin accompanying two hands grabbing his arm.

"The whole lot?"

Levi nodded grimly at the hissed query and enjoyed having the tight hold on his bicep, now empty receptacle stashed away.

"Yup. All in or nothing. Round there, we need front row seats."

They hurried to get a good position, Erwin still clamped to Levi's limb as they gaped over, a toast ensuing amongst the trio. Nile knocked back his tainted drink and the watchers held their breaths, waiting for the inevitable. The victim paused, unsure at first as to what the burning sensation in his mouth was and then it happened, a scarlet hue spreading over his whole face as he let out a pained scream of horror.

"Who…ugggghhhh…who…"

He could barely get the words out, friends frowning as they failed to realise what was going on and Nile spotted two figures huddled under a tree, flash of lightning illuminating their badly hidden enjoyment and he fumed, finger pointing and nearby beer chugged desperately.

"Shit…he saw us. Run."

"Eh?"

"Run, Erwin!"

Levi took the other man by the hand and sprinted away, shouts not far enough behind for his liking so he sped up, rustles of leaves and claps of thunder marking their getaway. He could hear Erwin on his heels, laughing through breaths of energetic adrenaline and he allowed himself a smile, such a stupid and albeit cruel prank having wondrous consequences. Levi had taken them into a small wooded area, no street lights to be seen by and he halted, their hands still clasped tightly and chests heaving while he spoke with gulps of air.

"I think…I think we lost them…"

A snap of a twig made the two jump, girlish squeals forced from exhilarated mouths and the flight was recommenced, bodies tearing through trees and bushes. Erwin felt a sense of unchecked freedom, revelled in the juvenile escape as blood thumped in his ears, making all else fade away. He concentrated on Levi - the powerful arm tugging him along, the jet black hair which seemed to sparkle each time electricity raked across the sky, the magnetic energy of the man.

This lapse of correct thinking came with a price and Erwin tripped over his own foot, became tangled with a yell as he tried to stay upright, pulling at Levi urgently.

"Oh shit!"

It was futile, a collision imminent so the blonde attempted to save his companion from too bad a fall, a pair of bodies thumping together and Erwin managed to twist at the last minute, took the worst deal and put himself between Levi and the ground. It resulted in him landing with his back against a tree trunk in a sitting position, ass getting the brunt of his tumble and he let out a huff of air, vaguely aware of a man sideways on his lap and a curse.

"Fuck!"

Levi blinked, the breath knocked out of him and a throbbing pain in his head as he butted against rough bark, surely hard enough to break the skin and he struggled up, holding the offended area as he sat side-saddle on strong legs that were not his own.

Erwin looked distraught, saw genuine agony in the furrowed brows and tightly shut eyes in front of him and he instinctively reached up to touch the injury, swept Levi's hand away to hold his skull gently, one thumb stroking around what he thought to be a scrape. The lack of light made it difficult to see but he could tell it was wet, likely bloody and his heart sank.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry, are you ok? Let me look…"

"It's fine. Honest. I've had worse."

"Me and my dumb big feet. Levi, I need to get you to a doctor."

"It's a scratch. Don't worry."

"But I…"

Erwin frowned earnestly into now placid features, realised their noses were a centimeter apart and he slowed his soothing motions, eyes flicking down. Before he could over-think this or fuck it up even more, Erwin pressed his mouth to Levi's, fingers sliding round to the back of his head and massaging through the fuzzy undercut. It wasn't a deep kiss, simply full of adoration and he was sure he'd actually died, ended up in some alternate universe where happiness was attainable.

Levi pecked in tandem, two sets of warm lips nipping and savouring one another passionately and he put his palms on Erwin's jawline, cupping his face carefully with trembling hands. It was like free-falling, any sense of dimension or gravity vanishing as they gently explored in tender actions, wet pouts tasting of salty sweat and liquor.

They barely drew apart, foreheads together and Erwin made a miniscule noise of appreciation, coming from somewhere on a scale made of happiness and fright as Levi's slightly open mouth twitched up on one side, fingers circling on a nape of dark brown hair. He huffed once and closed his eyes, dipping in for yet more kisses and the deafening crash from the skies didn't quite mask their hums, arms now wrapped around each other as tongues danced lazily, taking their time to sample what had been lusted after for so long.

A terribly timed drop of rain hit Erwin on the crown of his head, making the male flinch and pull back.

"I…"

"Don't."

Levi knew he was about to hear an apology so cut it off with his mouth, forbidding such words and he enjoyed another taste, languid strokes punctuated with low moans. Only the insistent patter of water halted them, serious downpour manifesting amidst the crackling atmosphere and they parted again, smiles exchanged beneath what promised to be a torrential storm.

"We'd um…we'd better go?"

Erwin laughed at his own words, splats of moisture picking up the pace as the clouds momentarily turned bright white, rumbling growl following a second later to signal how close the tormented weather was and Levi nodded, scrabbling to get up from the soon to be saturated soil and he offered a hand, assisting the taller man upwards. His jolting tug brought them together, porcelain chin against a muscly chest and palms lingered, regretted having to let go however nature dictated their departure, both men clasping hands and running in the direction of respective homes.

Levi's was the first to be reached, run-down apartment building looming above them in shades of brown and grey, bricks chipped and crumbling. The resident paused, shyness returning and he tapped one foot, unclear on how this should end.

_Just like this. Nothing more. It's perfect._

"So…"

"Thank you, Levi."

"For what?"

"Being my date. See you Monday?"

"Yea, Monday."

Erwin swung their twined hands a few times, his soul alight and contented. He reached up, brushed at the cut on Levi's head and he placed a chaste kiss next to it, sedately breaking contact with a smile before he left.

"I'm looking forward to it."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well we made it to non-date night! I had more to add in this chapter but it was already way longer than I'd intended! Hope you enjoyed the read :)


	10. Time For Reflection

The storm raged on through the night, rattled against Levi's tightly shut window however he barely even noticed, instead enjoyed the sleep of the exhausted. All of the pent up stress surrounding the night before had unknowingly taken it's toll and as he slipped out from beneath a thin bedsheet, Levi relived their kiss for the thousandth time, could still feel hot lips on his and hands touching him everywhere. The tempest outside had allowed a break, cut through the muggy heat and he woke up dry for once, not covered in sweat.

Shuffling naked to the compact bathroom, he switched on the light to examine his forehead, yesterday's collision with a tree having gone unchecked until now. Once he'd gotten into bed last night all Levi could do was think about Erwin, how he tasted, how he smelt, how soft his mouth was. After that and some vivid use of the imagination, he'd ended up with a more pressing matter to attend to and was incapable of anything but slumber after relieving himself.

Levi peered closely in the dim yellow-lit room, pressed around the offended area with a hiss and he reached into the cabinet, antiseptic liquid sourced and he soaked a pad of cotton wool, steeling himself for the inevitable sting of pain. Each wipe was met by snapped words, any dirt removed and shallow graze cleaned swiftly.

"Fucking shit motherfucker damn fucking hell…"

One final sweep concluded Levi's agonising disinfection and he took a good look, angry red lines puffing out like a terrible attempt at a Harry Potter costume and he barked a single laughing tone, head shaken at his reflection.

"At least it got me on Erwin's lap."

Slapping the sink edge with both hands in a kind of resolution, Levi turned to switch on the shower, cramped cubicle springing to life as he decided what to do with his day. A quick mental top-up occured and he nodded under the soothing jets of water. No point wasting time fawning - a spare few hours always came in handy and he made his mind up to purchase more supplies, use yesterday as inspiration and produce some hopefully well-crafted statues.

Erwin had a similar start to the morning but his cuts were to his back, only making themselves known after rising and he struggled to view any scrapes, twisting and turning in front of his mirror to assess the damage. Not much could be seen, each position revealing little in the way of major trauma so he left it alone, took the faint throbbing as a memento of an amazing night and he smiled, making his way to the kitchen.

_I wonder what Levi's doing? I can't believe I kissed him. Why didn't I give him my number? Actually no, waiting until Monday is better. I'd probably end up sending some ridiculous emoji or…oh crap._

He'd opened his phone, eighteen messages all from his father asking for immediate attention, all missing vowels or spelt badly as the older man tried to get into 'text speak.'

'Hw dd it go? Gr8?'

'Cm ovr. I cuk'

Erwin grinned down as he scrolled through the mess of words and he was able to discern that a casserole had been started, safely interred in the slow cooker and his day was planned already. Quickly messaging back, he confirmed their lunch date at 11 and glanced at the time - quarter to ten.

"That was a good sleep."

The shower was switched on, pyjama shorts thrown into the laundry basket and Erwin stepped in, let warm streams prickle at the raw spots on his back which further reminded him of Levi. He hadn't put them there with nails unfortunately, however the sensation remained the same. Working up a lather of gel, Erwin rubbed the scented liquid across his chest, getting under his arms with languid motions and he moved south, daydream about sharp digging fingers having hardened him slightly and the blonde flinched as he soaped himself slowly, eyes closed and mouth open.

Coherent visions escaped Erwin's brain and he sighed loudly, playing out a scene made from snatches of information as he gave up on washing and concentrated on the now fully aroused shaft in his hand. Flashes of skin circled in his mind's eye, slick flesh and toned legs, a creamy white body beneath him in beautiful contrast to his own tanned form.

"Levi…"

He could see it clearly now, could hear strained moans in his ear, panted breath and cries for more as Erwin immersed himself in the fantasy, and not for the first time. He'd never been one for dirty talk or the likes so his practised scenario always consisted of just Levi speaking, whispers and pleading groans, all begging…harder, faster, don't stop…

"Shit."

Erwin leant his free hand against the tiles, lids still shut tight and eyes moving as the moment of orgasm caused calls of Levi's ecstacy to manifest soundlessly and the tall man shuddered, felt non-existent thighs clamping tightly to his waist.

"Oh god…"

It never failed to finish him off, the desire to sense those legs in reality and Erwin gasped, coming strongly with a shiver and twitching hips. He allowed a few last small strokes, cracked voice wavering as a low moan signalled the final burst of his climax and Erwin found himself with both palms on the wall, back heaving as he gulped in air and an unintentional amount of water.

"Jesus. Jesus…"

_If I'm ever lucky enough to be with Levi, I'll probably last ten seconds…_

Erwin shut the shower off after cleaning again and he stretched, muscles now relaxed after his release and he yawned loudly in the serene apartment, the sound of rain beating against his windows giving a feeling of safety and calm. Of course, he'd be going out in it soon but a bit of wet weather wouldn't dampen his spirits.

Not long after and Levi was stomping through the streets, his black fabric hoodie doing little to stop the moisture but he didn't care, hands stuffed in his pockets and legs bare from the knees down, calves getting sprayed by every step. All he was concerned about keeping dry was the contents of his waterproof backpack, clay weighing heavily but in a comforting way. He stopped beneath a bus shelter, checked his wallet and made some calculations, small treat on the cards and Levi made a dash for the corner shop, clouds lighting up above him.

The door made an electronic beeping noise as he pushed inside, hollow welcome chiming with annoying fake happiness and Levi stood dripping on the large brown mat, adding his own puddles to already existing ones and he jumped a few times, shedding what he could so the premises didn't get too messy. He gave a nod to the cashier, received one in return as he swept to the back of the store, noting a few items on the way. Shelves of bottles stared down at him, every type of liquor one could possibly want and he reached out for a six pack of beer, choosing a cheaper option and checking the percentage - not too strong but not weak either.

Levi took a slower walk towards the cash desk, eyes scanning for produce with yellow stickers, anything reduced and in need of immediate consumption. After about five minutes of rummaging he had his arms full of various cooked meats, cheeses and fruit, some bread and a few tins, a veritable feast for very little money and Levi juggled his load, one finger hooked precariously in the cardboard container which held the beers.

"Need a hand?"

Erwin smiled down, a bottle of wine tightly nestled under his arm next to a wet red umbrella, his belonging and purchases secured in one strong clamp. His free limb reached out to catch the six-pack deftly, blush springing up high on his cheeks and Levi nodded once, unsure how to sufficiently deal with this situation.

"Thanks."

"No worries. Quite the day of eating ahead of you?"

"Yea."

Erwin's nerves came out in rushed words, sounds spilling from his lips in contrast to the single mumbles he received back.

"Me too. Dad's making a casserole. Hence the wine. Lunch date!"

"Nice."

"How's your head?"

Sudden concern crossed Erwin's features and he set the beer down on a nearby chest-freezer, palm cupping Levi's cheek as he ran his thumb softly around the injured area in a mirror of last night. Any pain was irrelevant as the shorter man struggled to regulate his breathing, winces hidden behind half-lidded eyes and a slightly open mouth. A shaky exhale was all he could do in response, quickly joined by a tiny croak and an intense stare.

Erwin had shifted his gaze sideways, now trained onto beautiful steel and he floundered for a suitable next move, drowning in the mercury pools which looked almost seductive beneath dark, long lashes. A slow blink almost ruined him, threatened to turn his thighs to useless mush and caused a twitch of raw desire to awaken inside his underwear as Erwin mumbled quietly.

"I…I'm…"

"…yea…"

"Excuse me, gents."

A fellow shopper smirked as he brushed past the enraptured pair, breaking them up and shaking his head at the unusual scene for a love story, two men sandwiched between tinned vegetables and jars of pickles. Erwin laughed lowly, more at himself than anything as he tilted a brow towards the front of the store, suggesting they pay for their goods. Levi shuffled up the aisle with burning cheeks and a strange feeling in his stomach, gratefully placing the food at the counter - he'd never admit to the fact that the load had made his muscles ache.

As the produce was totalled up, Levi swiftly packed it away in two plastic bags, making sure to level them out to allow easier transportation home and he paid with the exact money, pockets lighter but for a good cause. He waited for Erwin, just one thing for him to buy and they exited together in silence, greeted by the swish of car tyres travelling over waterlogged roads and cracks of thunder. The large umbrella was opened deftly, a whoosh of fabric joining the already loud noises and Erwin pointed in the direction of Levi's apartment.

"I'll walk you home."

"It's not on your way…"

"Look at the rain?"

"I'm soaked already, Erwin."

"No reason to get even more wet though, is it? Come on. It's no trouble."

It was pointless arguing so Levi just nodded, their fast steps spraying droplets in all directions. Erwin glanced to his side, saw the obviously heavy backpack and two bursting bags and he took one from the smaller man, warm smile given as he now felt more useful. Levi sighed and muttered his thanks, internally hating the show of weakness - Erwin was strong, and effortlessly so, but he was simply…not. The blonde sensed a change and refrained from offering to take the large pack, tongue bitten instantly. He may have been awkward and clumsy, yet prided himself in being able to read certain situations.

_Didn't read him very well before, did I? Had no clue he liked me. We could have been dating weeks ago if I'd noticed._

The wordless monologue continued and Levi kept flicking his eyes upwards, wondering if it was purely the weather keeping the usually nervously chattering male quiet or something else.

_He realises last night was a mistake. But…the way he looked at me in the store...maybe not?_

The main door had been reached in a matter of tense minutes and Erwin went to open it, arm freezing mid-swing and he clenched his fist, stamping down natural chivalry to adjust to Levi's discomfort.

"It's ok, Erwin." The tallest of the pair stared, head cocked to the right as he stood in position, unsure what was going on. Unbeknownst to him, his companion had been doing similar analysis of the situation and came to a suitable conclusion. "I think it's nice."

"What's nice?"

"Being a gentleman."

Levi held his hand out for the groceries, bag and understanding passed between them, smiles shared as a common ground had been reached without conversation, each individual catered for.

"I do like to have manners. But I don't want you to feel that I'm belittling you, Levi."

"Hey, it's been…well, never since someone treated me like this. I just didn't know how to deal with it."

"You'd better get used to it."

Levi pressed his lips together and held in a smirk, eyebrow raised as Erwin became suddenly flustered, free hand waving through the sodden air as a reply was given.

"Oh really? You'll be carrying me over the threshold then?"

"No no no I didn't mean…I did…I didn't…" The oldest man hung his head, exaggerated bobs denoting a form of acceptance - he already knew what he meant. Had harboured thoughts of protection for a while now. He wanted to do things right by Levi, carry his bags, open doors, lavish him with attention and respect him at the same time. Old fashioned perhaps, but Erwin couldn't help it. "Ok, I did."

Their eyes met once more, laughter gleaming in cobalt discs as Erwin gestured, pretending to be on the verge of lifting Levi in one arm.

"Erwin!"

Tiny chuckles accompanied a step backwards as Levi let humour take over, mock horror on his face and the other male giggled with frivolity, thoroughly enjoying the exchange.

"Alright, I'll let you off this time. Seeing as I have the wine."

"This time?"

"I can't promise that I'll never do it."

They calmed, chests light and mouths smiling as Erwin made a bold move, closed the gap between them and gave the softest of kisses to waiting lips. It was brief and fleeting but oh so perfect, making Levi's soul explode with happiness - yesterday wasn't just a one-off. His flesh still tingled as the connection broke, lids opening slightly to view the pink face which filled his vision, a gorgeous image of contentment.

"I'll see you Monday then Levi?"

"Yea, see you."

Erwin turned with a grin and a wave, trying his best to look confident and sexy whilst containing the need to run through the puddles, splash in each one gleefully and shout Levi's name to the rooftops. Silver eyes watched his casual retreat, mesmerised by the nonchalant stroll and handsome figure.

"How did I get this fucking lucky?"

~~~~~~

The clouds had cleared a little, cleansing breeze sweeping across the paved area as Erwin unpacked his newly baked goods, early Monday morning start fresh and pleasant. He whistled a random tune, the weekend having been one of the best he'd ever experienced and he gave a little wiggle whilst stacking pastries, ass shaking in time to his melody. A few steps to the left were executed like in a Broadway show, arm stretching dramatically to snatch the next batch and Erwin spun, circular treats delivered to their rightful place.

Obviously Friday had a lot to do with his high spirits, the chance meeting on Saturday too, but lunch with his father added so much more delight to his heart. He'd stayed at the retirement home well after dark, raided the fridge of it's stash of beers and talked for hours with his dad on many subjects, mainly Levi. The conversation had turned eventually to their missing link, one person who wasn't around to see her son's joy, a woman that would likely have demanded to meet this apparently incredible man and interrogate him. Erwin had laughed at the idea, having no doubt that his mother could turn even the strongest and impenetrable of personalities into someone who would confess all. She had a talent. A look. An undeniable aura.

The chat hadn't turned sorrowful - it truly was one of those days when nothing could dampen the brightness shining from Erwin's soul, his mum remembered fondly and with love. Even his father's sniffs and sneezes didn't cause an issue, impending cold having taken hold fully by the time the younger male left and he'd made sure to leave his dad within easy reach of tissues and medicine.

Erwin two-stepped around the booth, disappearing into the thankfully cool hut and he emerged a minute later, hums audible to anyone else nearby. At this early hour, only one other kiosk was occupied and the owner laughed, shaking his head at the dance in progress.

"Oi Erwin? Good weekend?"

"Huh?" He'd forgotten Jean was even here, their hatches facing in different directions. "Oh. Yea, it was thanks. You?"

"Can't remember." Jean shrugged, leaning against the outside of his wooden store, one which sold cooked breakfast rolls, usually in a better state to those served at the barbeque on Friday. "I was pretty much drunk the whole time. I do remember Nile getting in a rage though."

_Shit shit shit I forgot about that! God, I hope he doesn't hate me. What if he…_

A buzz in Erwin's pocket stopped the frantic thought process, a cold sweat still prickling on his brow at the prospect of being in trouble with his landlord and he picked up the call, frown forming along with dread as he recognised the incoming number, one which was never to contact him unless it was in an emergency. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it's taken so long. This is a bit of a filler but to fit what happens next into the same chapter would have resulted in waaaay too many words! Hope you enjoyed the read :)


	11. Need

Levi pulled the earbuds out, loud music now silenced as he dismounted his bike. A freshening wind tickled at his neck, newly shaved undercut being graced by the soothing breeze and he took a deep breath, heart skipping a beat and buzzing with new adrenaline. His journey was measured, the morning deliveries having been made hastily to allow for more time in Erwin's presence, but now he took a steady pace, psyching himself up for their meeting. Saturday had been an unexpected and pleasurable encounter, one which played on his mind for the remainder of the weekend and caused yet more butterflies to surface again.

As Levi grew closer he noticed something wasn't quite right - an unmistakable void where there should be bodies lining up for service, a hatch which was closed instead of open and filled by a tall blonde. Erwin wasn't here. Hadn't showed. Got cold feet. Regretted his affections.

_But…? No. No. He likes me. He fucking likes me. Right? I mean, if he didn't…_

Any surety seeped from Levi's core and left him with a cold dead lump of self-consciousness, momentarily convinced that the absence of his crush was due to an awakening on Erwin's part, one so strong that it forced the man to stay away from earning a living and instead shying from contact.

_That can't be true. I…I don't believe it. I won't. He kissed me. Twice. He wouldn't be such a bastard…?_

Bolstered by slight anger, Levi upped his pace and did a quick assessment of the surrounding area; the other booths were clearly occupied, queues moving and patrons receiving their goods. No damage to Erwin's place of work which would render it unusable. No good reason for this at all. Picking the nearest shack, he went straight to the front and dropped his bike, leaning over the wooden shelf and pointing to the familiar vendor.

"You. Where's Erwin?"

"What? Oh…hi."

A few mumbles of dissatisfaction came from the waiting customers, words which were silenced by the coldest wintery glare any of them had witnessed before.

"Don't fucking 'Hi' me. Where is Erwin?"

Jean fumbled, the cooking utensil that lay in his hand nearly falling due to the intense stare boring holes through his skull and he licked his lips, bravado kicking in as a defense mechanism.

"I'm not a mind reader. I can't make magic. I do make the best sausages in town though, am I right?!" He waved his fork at the line of people, brows waggling and Jean looked for support, getting only a few half-hearted nods of agreement in response. Clearly this wasn't a conversation he could triumph in. "Alright. He got a call, locked up and ran in to see Nile."

"Ran in where?"

Levi was losing patience, gritting his teeth with concern and annoyance.

"There." A thumb gestured to behind the kiosk, Jean now desperate to get rid of the irate man. "The building management suite. Ground floor." He watched as Levi picked up the bike and sped off, tutting quietly. "Could have said 'thank you', jeez."

The sense of urgency that Levi felt was suffocating, recent muggy days brought back in a flash as he experienced shortness of breath, a heavy constricting noose tightening around his chest. Dread had settled into his bones, limbs moving of their own accord as he crashed wildly through the main door, wide eyes sourcing out his destination. Black letters announced the location and Levi marched towards it, rubber tyres squeaking on freshly polished marble floors.

Nile looked up with a start when his peace was broken, small irate person suddenly in the office, bike and all. He looked vaguely familiar, a sense of danger surrounding the newcomer and Nile frowned.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

"Erwin. Where is he?"

Now the landlord recognised him, the unsociable attendee at their barbeque on Friday, but all Nile could recall clearly was the man being glued constantly to Erwin's side. He shrugged, moving some papers around unnecessarily before replying with lacklustre.

"Something to do about a call and his dad."

"Something?! Do you not pay attention when people fucking speak to you?" Levi couldn't believe it, Erwin's good nature and kindly attitude yet again being taken for granted - those who were pleasant and accommodating often became part of the background, it seemed. He took two steps forward, pale and now slightly shaking hand pressed against the wooden desk as Levi leant over, pinned Nile down with a look of pure hatred and spoke in sarcastic spits. "What is it? Oh, there goes Erwin. Isn't he nice? Never any trouble. If we just let him carry on, he'll do what we want."

Levi was on a roll, initial purpose for being here momentarily forgotten as he dropped his bike, arms out in a sardonic shrug. He could imagine exactly what Nile was like. Could see the guy asking tons of little favours of Erwin. Just a few minutes. Won't take you long. Would you make an extra batch? Open later? Lock up for me so I can leave early? Whether any of this actually happened was irrelevant to him now and Levi pointed viciously.

"Don't treat him like shit. He's worth a hundred of you. More."

Nile could only sit dumbfounded as the tirade continued, the obviously furious man not showing much outward signs of his wrath. A faint curl of the lip and pinched brows were noticeable but little else other than the scathing tone and the unwilling audience member held up a hand.

"Wait, wait!"

"What? Has your fucking pig-ignorance suddenly cleared?"

"No…yes…it was all so quick." Nile wet his lips and hurried through his explanation, eager to get rid of the stormy male that stood before him. "He came rushing in, said his dad had been taken ill and he'd have to go."

"Taken ill how?"

Levi's anxiety levels peaked, nails digging into the wooden desk and teeth clenched.

"I don't know! It sounded serious."

And that was all it took to dismiss the courier, black hair swishing in it's elastic tie and bicycle hefted once more as Levi ran out into the now obsolete fresh air - nothing could lift the agony that pressed on his nerves, silver eyes darting around as a plan was hatched. His rounds had only just begun, crate full of deliveries waiting to be connected to their recipients and he knew no one could cover for him, short-staffed office currently looking for new recruits. Levi possessed one further option and he pulled his phone out, trembling fingers desperately dialling as he tried to mentally reach to Erwin, tell him it was going to be alright.

"Hey Levi! You know, I found out today that if you mix…"

"Mike, I need help."

The student paused, large nose twitching as he gauged his friend's voice, hearing something new in the usually deep and steady sound. Panic. Mike sat down, wiping his free hand on the already paint smeared joggers he wore.

"Ok, slow down Levi. Whatever it is, we can sort this out. Tell me."

"I met someone and he's in trouble, Mike. I have to find him."

"You met someone? When?"

Levi broke out of despair for long enough to question himself - why didn't he tell his friend? How would that conversation have gone?

_Yea I've been hanging around someone for weeks, fantasising about him, holding the worst fucking small talk ever, I randomly painted the booth he works in, practically took up an unpaid second job helping him out…_

That was why he hadn't told Mike. In plain language, it sounded rather excessive and Levi sighed.

"Friday." It was easier to lie, however this made him out to be even more fucked up, obsessed within the span of a weekend and he tutted, head shaken. "A while ago. I mean, we had our first date on Friday."

"What's he like?"

"He…" Levi stopped, the matter at hand more urgent. "I'll tell you everything later, I promise. But I need to go to him."

"Sorry, of course. What can I do?"

"Can you take my deliveries? I know it's a lot to ask, you don't have the first clue where to go and you won't fit on my fucking bike but…I don't have anyone else, Mike. Please."

It wasn't often that Levi employed such a wretched and begging repertoire, yet it was wholly genuine, true requirement causing him to make a request he felt terrible for. There was a cough on the other end and his heart sank, knew that it was a ridiculous thing to expect of Mike.

"I would, you know I would. But we have an exam in about...forty minutes, Levi. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault, don't worry." Levi searched inside, found nothing to replace this last hope and he barked a singular laugh, no humour contained in the noise as he nodded with futility. "I shouldn't have asked. You'd probably have gotten fucking lost, anyway."

"True. Second time you'd need to save me from the wilderness."

"Don't remind me." Smiling lightly, Levi got ready to end the call in a way which didn't make his friend feel guilty. "Good luck with the exam, Mike. Buy you a beer another time?"

"Thanks, you can get the first round. Good luck with your…boyfriend? Is that right? Too soon?"

"Yes that's too fucking soon."

"Bye, Levi."

They said their farewells, conversation leaving a sense of uselessness in Levi's core and he tugged at his hair, strands pulled from the band securing it and he gave a muffled yell from behind gritted teeth, a snarl which lent an audio prompt to just how tormented he felt. As if the landscape would provide an answer, Levi looked from left to right, brain whirring and thoughts coming at a rapid pace.

_What am I going to fucking do? I can't carry on like nothing's happened. Shit._

He kicked the rubber tyre at his feet, toe of his shoe bouncing back and an idea began to gain an ugly form, monstrous and dark. Levi glanced downwards, tapping his foot against the frame of his battered bike and he could hear the blood pumping through his veins, ears deafened by the sound. The sensation was joined by sickening adrenaline which made his palms sweat; fight or flight. Do or die.

_I can't…it won't work…it's fucking stupid._

He worked himself up to it, like someone would talk internally before a bungee jump or sky-dive, all the dangers and pitfalls reasoned with before taking the plunge. Rapid and strong beats of his heart alerted him to his dire situation - carry on, and he risked finding out if the inherited disease actually ran within him too.

"Fuck it. Stop being such a fucking wimp and do it."

It was the only option Levi's frazzled mind could come up with, a water-tight way in which to achieve his goals; it wouldn't get him fired, would continue to pay him a wage for a few days and would ensure his rounds were rendered instantly impossible.

"I'm going to do it. I'm going to fucking do it."

Wet and buzzing fingers gripped the handlebars as Levi set the wheels in motion, legs powering to a high speed in seconds as he looked for the perfect place, about to execute what (in hindsight) would be the most incredibly dumb-ass idea he had ever concocted. But, also in hindsight, it stood to prove just how desperately he needed to be with Erwin. That feral desire to protect and care which he'd thought impossible after the loss of his mother. The beginnings of deep emotions.

At the time, Levi concentrated on his actions and not the mental intricacies behind them, found a likely spot away from public view and he aimed for the wall, intending on side-swiping at the last minute to minimise damage.

_HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK_

With a battle cry, Levi slammed into concrete, arms up to protect his head and feet pushing out as the metal bike hit first, flesh and bones following afterwards in a crumpled heap, skin grazed and sore.

"Motherfucker!"

It took a few moments for the young man to regain himself, the world spinning in nauseating spirals and Levi tried to regulate his breathing, the sound of one wheel still turning acting as an anchor into real life. The clicks became slower, a death rattle of sorts and he attempted movement, body pulled carefully from beneath the wreckage.

"Oh shit."

Levi realised his error, how painfully imbecilic this plan had been as he stood gingerly, looking down at the mangled carcass of his bike, the one thing he relied on to make an income. The front tyre had burst, point of impact also bending the metal in sharp angles so that the shape no longer resembled a circle, useless and broken. At least the rest of the frame seemed ok, a few more scratches than usual but it remained structurally sound and Levi lifted it with effort, aches springing up all over his body.

"Need time off? Crash into a fucking wall. How goddamn stupid am I?"

It was a means to an end, would fulfil his needs perfectly, yet as he dragged the ailing bicycle to his workplace it became obvious just how big of a mess he'd created, and potentially over nothing. Levi had no information on Erwin's father, no facts or clues as to his state, but he did like to think he knew the blonde well enough to make some suppositions.

_He wouldn't close on his busiest day if it wasn't necessary and I doubt he's a drama queen. Sure, he likes to help and shit but…no. It must be serious._

With a sigh and a gut full of trepidation, Levi hauled himself into the depot, ready to spin a tale about dangerous drivers and a near-death experience involving a van. If he merely embellished the truth and just took out the purposeful nature of the collision, he might be fired for simple ineptitude.

Twenty minutes later he emerged victorious, no deliveries to make and the rest of the week taken as sick leave, time needed to process the horrific shock of an imaginary road traffic accident. Luckily his employer hadn't asked for in-depth analysis, suggested filing a report with the police but took his appearance to be proof enough, the healing wound from Friday adding to Levi's injuries and he hooked an arm under the handlebars, ready to cart his redundant ride wherever he went.

And that brought up the next issue. Where was he going? The hospital would probably be a good idea if the trickle of blood on his shin was anything to go by, however Levi had other motives. A mission. One which began at Erwin's father's home. He remembered talking about it at the barbeque in scant detail, yet something worked in his favour - to Levi's knowledge, only one care home existed within walking distance. Having an extensive mental map came in handy and with no clear picture of what he was actually going to say or do, Levi set off in that direction.

Upon arrival, the question of how to proceed lay starkly in his mind, clothing smoothed down and red smudges cleared as much as possible, a thumb licked to clean the blood away and Levi left his bike outside, stepping into the single storey building. It smelt funny, musty but fresh at the same time and a collection of different breakfast aromas joined together to make a strange mix, not unpleasant but strange.

The foyer was security locked, small atrium as far as Levi could go alone and through the glass doors he could see that a front desk sat to one side, no one in attendance so he crept forwards, finger hovering over the intercom button which would hail a worker.

_What do I say? I must look a fucking state. They'll probably ask me to leave…oh fuck._

A nurse had entered the hallway, spotted his figure hanging around and cheerfully came closer, friendly smile genuine but with slight reservation as the new face looked back at her and she opened the door.

"Hello?"

"Um…I'm…I'm here to see…Mr Smith?"

Levi felt like a schoolboy arriving at a friend's house for a playdate, sure that he should finish off the look by holding a cap in his wringing hands. The nurse softened instantly, saw true emotion on the visitor's features and assumed he was a close family friend, one who had suffered his own kind of medical trauma recently.

"Oh honey it's so terrible, isn't it? He's at the hospital now with his son. And I think you should be there too?"

She pointed down but Levi brushed it off with a tiny grunt, thanking her for the help before limping away once more. The hospital wasn't far, usually ten minutes on foot but Levi ached now, one shoulder screaming from the effort of hauling his lame bike, cuts stinging and body bruised.

"Stupid fucking idea."

By the time he reached the huge white building he was starting to agree with what the nurse had said - either a drink or a lie down sounded great right now, yet he had something else which drove him on, the quest to find Erwin and…

_And what? What am I doing? I'm about to walk in on a potentially dying man because I have a crush on his son. No, it's not just that. This is more than that. I don't do shit like this, it must mean something…_

Levi's head began to pound, his morning having been full of incidents already and now here he stood - confused, broken and stressed. Was he really going to do this? After all, he'd put himself through admittedly ill-advised measures to get here but clarity had sunk in, made him question life itself.

_He won't need me. I'm sure there are friends and other family there too. What can I do? I'm not exactly an expert in these things._

Traffic roared past, heavy commute in progress and Levi hung his head, eyes pinned intently on his scuffed sneakers as he made a decision; if he left, he'd regret it intensely.

Familiar corridors were traversed, no one giving him so much as a second look - blood was commonplace here and Levi took all the right turns to reach the emergency department, short queue moving quickly. He was at the enquiry desk in no time at all, name and approximate admission time given based on presumptions and the receptionist didn't even question his relationship, simply took the details with a bland emotionless face and she called up the patient's location, monotone information passed over so nonchalantly.

As Levi rode upwards in the elevator he started to get jittery, nerves raw and exposed as a thousand reasons to turn around all shouted in his brain, tried to halt his progress and stop him from perhaps making a total fool of himself, however the heart won. An incredible pull originated there, not of love, not yet, more like…a kind of adoration. Something which, if tended to correctly, could grow.

"Shut the fuck up."

Levi chided himself and strode to the correct private room, bike leant carefully against a pink wall and he took a deep breath before peeking through, small window on the door allowing the scene to unfold. It made him want to tear down the world and rebuild it again, use his bare hands to make a better, more happy place for Erwin to live in and he swallowed hard, lump forming against his will.

The blonde man sat with his back to the door, elbows on his father's bed and head in hands. Occasional twitches suggested sobs and Levi pressed his lips together, reaching out to knock quietly.

Erwin didn't move, just expected another doctor to be coming so he decided to mumble instead, incoherent words acting as an invitation to enter. He didn't even bother looking up as another body joined him, thoughts far too fraught to hold a conversation and he blinked slowly, long light lashes dripping tears to the white sheets below. When a chair was silently placed beside his own, Erwin finally lifted his gaze and found himself staring into passive steel, an air of sorrow visible in Levi's pained expression and he lost control.

All of the silent cries came out in an avalanche of shakes and mournful moans as Erwin clung tightly to Levi, an equally strong embrace given in response. The smaller of the pair sat quietly and allowed whatever was needed, would stay like this for hours if required and he closed his eyes, squeezing Erwin with all he could muster. Small shushes and nonsense words whispered against the blonde's neck, Levi's face now buried into flesh in a display of comfort and comfort alone.

Minutes passed, neither of the men having a clue as to exactly how many and the sobbing abated, a few sniffs signalling composure as Erwin drew back, cheeks wet and nose running.

"How did you…?"

"Doesn't matter, Erwin. Do you want me here? I can go if you'd like."

"No! No, please. Stay. If that's ok?"

"Sure." Levi placed a palm on the other man's face, wiping tears just as he'd been cared for after suffering the blow to his head and he searched the grief-stricken features, weighed up whether this was a good time to make queries. Judging by the way in which Erwin still gulped in air, Levi decided to let it go. He could wait for the full story another time. Now it was all about support and he put a hand on the back of Erwin's head, bringing them together once more and simply holding him. "I'll stay for as long as you need." 


	12. Insight

Recycled air whirred from overhead vents, cool atmosphere maintained artificially with a humming drone to join the more erratic beeps from within the room. Their tearful embrace had calmed, Erwin now capable of speech and he spoke slowly, voice hushed and meek as Levi stroked through golden locks. The grief-stricken male had his head sideways on a small but powerful shoulder, wet eyes looking forlornly at the prone figure laid out before them.

"It's my fault, Levi."

He replied quietly in a soothing mumble, nails raking lightly at Erwin's scalp.

"No it isn't. How could it be?"

"I left the medicine for him. Didn't…didn't read it properly." Erwin sighed deeply and explained further, the flu remedy coming with side-effects of drowsiness and disorientation. At some point in the night his father had risen for some reason, tried to go somewhere and fell, unable to get back up again. "He never wears the damn alarm round his neck. Must have been laid there for hours. They think he lost consciousness after a while."

"It's not your fault, Erwin."

"I should have noticed the warnings." He drew in a shaking breath, the fingertips massaging his head making him realise how tired he really was, stress and the usual early start taking it's toll. "The staff always check on them come morning. He didn't answer the door so…so they went in and…and found him…"

"You don't have to say anything."

Levi cut off the speech which was turning into sobs and he clenched his jaw, wishing there was some way in which he could make this all better. Erwin's dad twitched in his slumber, machines keeping tabs on vital signs as his body decided to progress at it's own pace. There was no need to relive the mental image of the elderly male alone and incapacitated so Levi simply continued his soft motions, let peace find a place in this otherwise wretched situation.

Time marched on, doctors came and went, all making sympathetic and encouraging noises that did nothing to still Erwin's tormented heart, his cheek now on the sheets as he stared up the bed to his father's serene face, dropping eyelids heavy and puffed. Levi had slumped further into his chair, one hand on his steadily rising chest and the other at Erwin's back, keeping contact and on the cusp of dozing off, his throbbing limbs finally ready to get some rest.

The blonde gave in to fatigue, allowed his eyes to close and he flinched, swift semi-dream already invading his muscles as pictures of an imagined man left broken and solitary on the carpet trickled into his mind. Flashes tore across Erwin's muddied vision, leg moving of it's own accord and he woke himself up with a croaked yell. Levi was dragged from his own tumultuous nightmare, walls and vans the catalyst and he instinctively grabbed at the upright male before him, hands tight on strong arms and mouth open in fright.

"What is it?"

"I…Dad?"

"…son?"

All hell broke loose in a rather reserved manner, squeaks and unfinished words spilling from Erwin's lips as he flung himself over, gently clawing at his father's body, palms sliding to wrinkled cheeks in an attempt to make sure the patient stayed conscious. He kept mumbling apologies, tears biting at blue eyes which held sorrow and remorse, observed the fluttering lids below and light tosses of the head.

"Dad, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, it's all going to be ok, I'm here, shhhh. I'll take you on that holiday when you're better, I promise."

Erwin's sense of relief was accompanied by loss, the real prospect of being without his last remaining relative having hit hard and he struggled to keep calm, spasms in his chest bubbling to the surface. A single distraught sob punctuated the already emotional atmosphere and Levi stood small in the corner, watching and biting at the skin beside his thumbnail. It was beautiful and sombre, intense unconditional love but also fearful panic radiating from the bed and he shuffled on the spot, aware that this moment was not his to share. Levi slipped outside, steady sigh adding to the feeling of respectful need and he made his way down the hall to locate a medical professional.

His exit went unnoticed, blonde male focussed on one thing alone as he coaxed his dad out of stupor. It looked as if there was a mental struggle, dry and cracked lips working soundlessly and eyes revealed sporadically, one arm twitching as if to reach out.

"Dad, shhh. Don't. You don't need to move."

"Erw…I…what…?"

"You fell, Dad."

"I…fell?"

Erwin swallowed hard, ready to admit blame and he took his father's hand, a thumb rubbing softly over weathered flesh. In the past, those hands had been powerful and strong, guided him through first steps and helped conquer the tallest tree to climb, carried him, held him, moulded him. And now they seemed so uncertain, faded and weak. One thing which had never changed was his father's sharp wit and mind, cognitive faculties still on point however the person lying before him behaved like someone else, confused and baffled. It concerned Erwin greatly to witness such mannerisms, finally showed him the aging man he knew was there that he'd refused to fully acknowledge until now.

_He doesn't remember. He doesn't know. What does this mean? I'll have to cut my hours. Get a job in an office or something. He can't be left alone. No, I'll stop all together. Live off those savings for a bit. He needs me…_

He couldn't help it, Erwin's cries and muted wails purely for the sake of the one in need, not his own life. For a man who had once been so steady, so unimaginably wise, this was heartbreaking.

"Yes Dad, I'll look after you."

Levi crept back in, doctor in tow and he took up position in the shadows again, maintaining what he believed to be a suitable distance as he watched Erwin being gently yet forcibly removed from the bedside, two further staff members rushing in to perform whatever tests were needed. The blonde floundered, took tiny steps on the spot whilst he tried to process what was happening, a firm palm on his chest suggesting he give them ample space to work.

"But…Dad!"

He flexed useless fists in the direction of his father, reaching out but at the same time giving in to sense and Erwin shrunk back, unsteady paces taking him directly to where Levi stood.

"They know what they're doing, Erwin."

The two stared over, watching helplessly as the medical experts discussed their charge, interacted with him where possible and a large hand sought out comfort, taking a paler one tightly in his grip.

"He…he looks so small and old, Levi."

Levi merely nodded, agreeing to something he had not much experience in, having only seen the man once before, however it was the appropriate response. That and a squeeze around Erwin's grasp, a strong and physical anchor. Mumbles and machinery played their sombre soundtrack, all manner of needles and monitors being implemented and nods were shared, apparent diagnosis made. What appeared to be the consultant approached, face serious yet friendly.

"Mr Smith? I believe your father will be fine. We just need to administer some drugs."

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

Tension was carved on Erwin's features, fingers curling to a point that threatened to break Levi's hand as he waited for the truth.

"He was laying on his right arm when discovered." Erwin visibly flinched at the word use, gulped back the guilty metallic taste in his mouth as he listened intently. "So there's been some destruction of the muscle." The doctor went on to explain how extended periods of pressure on a limb could cause the muscle to break down, chemicals invading the bloodstream which induced confusion and could prove damaging to the kidneys if left unchecked. He was optimistic though, sure that any injury would be reversed with the correct medication.

"So, what now?"

"Well Mr Smith, we get the drugs going. Check on progress. If he responds well, which I am sure he will, your father could be home in a couple of days."

Erwin's head became light, dizzying good news making his heart skip and he moved forwards with eagerness, bringing Levi with him unintentionally.

"A couple of days? That's all?"

"Could. Remember, could."

"Yes, of course."

But Erwin had clung onto that belief, smile spreading over his dry lips and he went to be by the bed again, stopped once more in his tracks.

"Not yet. He's resting. That's a good sign, let the body repair." The doctor eyed Erwin and Levi, noted the tired and stressed rings beneath their lower lids and he pointed. "Allow him to sleep. You two? Go get some fresh air, eat."

Erwin started to protest, weak voice not even believing his own words and he let Levi lead him away, corridors travelled slowly but with certainty. Their hands were still grasped tightly, smaller male navigating concrete halls towards the exit while a few doctors swept past, some of them nodding to Levi and getting a similar gesture in response.

The sterile atmosphere of the hospital was breached, bright sunshine bathing their tired faces as they approached a bench, designated area being put to good use and Levi set about rolling a cigarette as they sat in silence. Erwin assessed the current situation, took solace in the potentially short stay which could have been much much longer and he sighed, allowing the weight to lift slightly from his shoulders. He took a deep intake of pure air, filled needy lungs as blue eyes glanced to his side, forgotten questions suddenly all-important.

"How did you find me?"

"Nile kind of explained. I went to the home. They pointed me here."

Erwin digested the information with a slow nod, looking down at his hands which he turned over for lack of anything else to occupy the time of quiet contemplation. A million things raced through his mind, thoughts coming thick and fast so Erwin went for the main one.

"Thank you."

Levi tutted, the sound not unkind as he stared off into the distance, his smoke being waved delicately in dismissal.

"No problem."

He dragged on the cigarette, eyes closing and he missed the scrutiny that was occurring, Erwin's gaze now firmly on his body.

"Were you in an accident, Levi? Look! You're bleeding! What happened?"

The courier froze, idiotic plan becoming even more stupid as he struggled to think of a valid answer, the truth surely enough to scare Erwin away but something compelled Levi to be honest. How could they ever become anything without being open? With a fast beating heart, he bowed his head and leant over his knees, elbows resting on thighs as shorter front strands of raven hair spilled forwards, the rest still tied back. A lump had lodged itself in his throat, reality fighting to stay hidden and he gulped it away, determined to be frank.

"I…kind of."

Words still failed Levi, knots of discomfort forming in his stomach and he opened his mouth, nothing coming at first. Erwin placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezed gently to coax the story out and Levi grimaced, hating how he was being comforted when it should be the other way around. That sealed it and he forced the sorry tale through gritted teeth.

"I couldn't get anyone to finish my rounds so…I did something fucking ridiculous."

"Yes?"

Levi looked up, saw earnest wide eyes waiting like a puppy doted on it's master, such innocence and an air of acceptance already. He battled with the desire to simply kiss Erwin instead, make him forget as if in a fairytale and grey hues narrowed, rested on parted lips that waited patiently.

"Fuck. Ok." Levi stared at his shoes, battered sneakers now with the addition of some red spots and he blew air through his nose violently, jaw flexing as he built up the courage to speak again. "If I called in sick or something they'd find a way to get rid of me, but I wanted to be here, make sure you were ok."

He paused, letting that sink in before starting again. Erwin nodded slowly, scanning the side of Levi's face and finding pain - not because of his actions perhaps, but maybe the admittance. The blonde had seen a variety of expressions on a multitude of people in his life, was naturally adept at sensing the meaning behind such changes and he again applied calming pressure to the smaller man's shoulder.

"It's alright. Carry on."

"Shit." Levi hissed, opting for visual explanation and he held his left hand up, palm flat and vertical whilst the right, cigarette and all, was 'driven' into the pretend wall. "Didn't have a choice at the time. I guess I panicked."

There was a distinct amount of guess work needed on Erwin's part and he mouthed soundlessly as smoke trailed upwards from the mock crash site and Levi dropped the crude tableau with a shrug, hands in his lap and foot jiggling up and down nervously as he studied the ground.

"You…you did it deliberately?"

A nod.

"Rode into something?"

Another.

Levi was painfully aware of Erwin's grip disappearing from his body, something that hurt far more than the physical injuries and he threw the finished butt to the floor, mashing it under one foot with a tiny huff. He'd fucked up, and he knew it.

_Why did I think this would go any differently? Holy shit, he must think I'm certifiable. Now to wait for the let down. He doesn't even need a lame excuse. It's gift-wrapped and ready to…_

His thought process was disturbed by a chuckling noise, deep and rich tones so unexpected and Levi turned, peering out from behind raven hair in disbelief as Erwin shook his head, eyes shut and grin broad.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Levi." The tallest of the two regained himself as the relief of a relatively bright prognosis for his father manifested in post-traumatic hilarity and he held up a palm in apology, gaze now on the gaping human beside him. "I mean…I don't think anyone's ever intentionally crashed for me before." Levi digested the reaction, scoured Erwin's face for any sign of piss-taking and found only true emotion.

"Don't expect it to happen a lot. Fucking hurt."

The grumble set Erwin off again, giggles turning into real laughter and he wiped under his eyes, previously tight skin which wore the ghosts of sorrowful tears moistened again for a wholly different reason. He had no doubt that this was mainly due to being so highly strung up until now, the body and mind employing that strange reaction when allowed to relax and he let it out, went with mother nature and wound down.

"Ok…ok, I'm done. Promise."

A few more hitches told that he was, in fact, not done at all and Erwin gave a last burst, twirling his finger like someone who was hurriedly chewing food and wanted to speak.

"Doesn't sound that way."

"Oh Levi…I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you."

Levi shuffled uncomfortably, unsure exactly what was going on but convinced it was all a means to the same end - fuck off you freak and never come near me again.

"No, you should be laughing at me. It was crazy. I mean, we've only just met…"

Their eyes connected, Erwin suddenly sober from his bout and they shared a look, one that flowed deeper than perhaps any words could travel. They'd spent a lot of time together over the past couple of weeks, got to know one another to a degree - nothing too intricate, yet their personalities had been discovered very early on, neither masking any true intent. And, when combined with the even longer amount of daydreaming and wondering and what-ifs…

Of course they were oblivious to the depths of each other's hidden desires, thought they were the only one to feel so uncontrollably swept away, however the stares said otherwise, offered a glimpse into reality. Erwin swallowed hard, rough throat clicking and he blushed, aware of the intensity close by whilst Levi tilted his head slightly, trying to get a handle on the situation.

_He's taking this very well. Too well. Some random guy he's kissed twice just purposefully rode into a fucking concrete wall to get out of work and come hunt him down. Why isn't he running away? Calling men in white coats?_

Erwin had his own internal chat with himself, computing what had occurred.

_Nobody does that for someone who means nothing. What am I to Levi? God, I've been thinking about him for…a long long time. It's embarrassing how much of my brain he's taken up. Does he know? How could he? Does he feel the same? No…no that's stupid. I'm the insane creep._

Neither knew what to say, dusty breeze blowing leaves across the courtyard in spirals and playing through the hair on their heads, contrasting colours equally disturbed and Levi shivered involuntarily, drop in temperature sending tingles across his skin as their stupor was broken.

"Come on, let's go inside." Erwin rose whilst speaking, brushing the seat of his pants in case of any clinging particles and he looked down, hand out to Levi. The courier paused, body language denoting distrust and Erwin stared in confusion. "What is it, Levi?"

It was cards on the table time and Levi spoke in his usual manner, unpolished and plain.

"This." He gestured lazily, wrist flicking as his gut churned in anything but boredom. "Why are you ok with this? With what I did?"

"Why did you do it?"

Levi froze, goosebumps racing over his flesh and not just from the cool wind as he smirked, a quick-witted side to Erwin having been revealed in the immediate come-back, but it also spoke of further unvoiced facts, almost answered his question with what his true reply would have been.

"Touchè."

"Well?"

Erwin wasn't backing down, smiled with glee actually as he started to believe that Levi had similar feelings, maybe not as extreme as his own, but something more than simple mild interest. The one under interrogation stood and took a step forwards, toes nearly touching those of Erwin's shoes and he glared upwards, arms crossed in false defiance.

"I fancied a few days off work. That ok?"

"Fine with me, Levi."

"And you?"

A shrug followed then a lopsided grin which sent Levi's heart into his mouth.

"It's always nice to know someone crazy enough to do that kind of thing. Might be handy if I ever need to pull an insurance scam."

Sparks were exchanged, a knowledge and understanding shared that whilst they hadn't openly admitted anything, they knew. They knew this was embedded at the roots and grew all the way to the new buds currently forming, admiration and emotions sturdy as a great oak. Erwin chuckled, flushed cheeks shining and eyes puffy from crying, his hand taking Levi's smaller one as he spoke.

"Thank you."

They walked in through the automatic doors, cold air replaced again by processed, bustling main reception area full of bodies and signs which made Erwin's head spin. Levi tugged at his hold, taking the man left and through a small hallway.

"Short cut. Want a coffee?"

"Yea. That'd be good, actually."

The veritable warren was navigated seamlessly, adding another question to Erwin's tongue and they found themselves quickly at the cafeteria, machine-produced drinks held in polystyrene cups as they claimed a table in the corner, plastic seats uncomfortable and hard. Levi squirmed, cursing the lack of padding and a woman in with an ID tag passed by, smile offered to the mumbling male who briefly nodded in acknowledgement. Now the lump of internal intrigue could take no more and Erwin leant over, voice low as if he were discussing a secret plan.

"How do you know everyone here, Levi? How to get around so well?"

The one addressed stirred his tea with a wooden stick, grimaced down into practical piss water as he got ready to release another nugget of his life. Why not? If Erwin could stomach his reckless and abnormal method of getting here, he could stand this. Couldn't he?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could have gone on for ages but had to find a natural cut off for this before the word count got silly, thanks for reading!


	13. Further

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a tad carried away with this one...

Levi picked at a chip in the table's formica surface, nail digging in nervously whilst he formulated a way to drop yet another bomb. Today had been full of them already and he sighed, the sound of chatter and cutlery seeming terribly loud in his ears as life went on around them, snatches of conversation filtering through and muddying his over-wrought brain. It wasn't as if he were on the edge of some horrific revelation, just medical facts but Levi was painfully aware of how much Erwin had suffered over the past few hours, how much information, how much stress and anxiety.

Admitting the truth bore no conundrum, he would remain honest, however it could spell the end of their short lived 'relationship' before it had even gotten off the ground and Levi looked up, studied the strained and confused face in front of him with a frown. Fast and to the point. That was how it had to happen.

"I have an inherited heart defect in my family. Killed my mother at a young age."

Erwin nodded respectfully - during their chats at the barbeque, the loss of maternal figures had been discussed to a degree, each knowing that the only parent remaining between them was the patient currently lying in a hospital bed nearby, and he waited quietly for what was to come.

"So I have to get checked out. Monitored. Try not to push myself too far."

"Levi…" Erwin practically scowled, pinning the young man in place with accusing blue eyes. "Would riding a bike at the speed of light for a living not be described as 'pushing yourself too far'? Would crashing into a wall come into that category too?"

Levi had been expecting perhaps a goodbye, ties severed because of a potentially short-lived partnership or the prospect of becoming a care-giver, but he had not planned on this. He was being scolded and his heckles were up already.

"Listen, I don't have many options, ok?" Levi prodded at the table, finger jabbing as the fire Erwin had seen directed at others was aimed his way. "I can't afford to go to college. I have shitty grades from high school. I don't come from a place where money could be loaned to start anything up. All I have is my physical ability."

"No. No. There's always a way." Erwin was leaning back now, palms out and head shaken as he reasoned with the person he'd come to admire so deeply, realising he'd started on the wrong foot. "I'm not nagging or telling you off…"

"Could've fooled me…"

"BUT!" The air grew cooler, strong word silencing the grumble as Erwin continued, paved the way to a civil discussion and Levi clenched his jaw, arms crossed and body as far back into the chair as possible. "I'm concerned, Levi."

The conclusion came out softly, a genuine trouble to Erwin's voice which melted the frost that had laid around Levi's figure, apology on pale features.

"Look, I'm sorry Erwin. I guess…I guess you're just saying what I already fucking tell myself every day." He flopped forwards, elbows on the table and head in one hand, eyes flicking over to watch the man opposite. "What else can I do?"

There was a sense of frustrated acceptance as Levi sank further down, fingers spinning his tea round in careful circles as a full-on sulk manifested. He hated it yet couldn't stop, brows knotted together and lips in a thin tight line.

_Twenty three years old and still capable of behaving like a brattish teen. Fuck sakes._

Erwin was instantly compelled to help, saw nothing childish in Levi's actions, purely the struggles of someone with a dream, a pull he knew all too well. He also knew that nothing could assist other than distraction so he sipped at the coffee, liquid now tepid and as tasty as mud.

"Jesus, wouldn't hurt to add some flavour."

"Hmm?"

"The coffee, Levi."

"Oh, don't get me started. This…" He held the polystyrene cup aloft with a grimace. "This shit has never even been near tea before."

"They must think we're all too tired or stressed in this place to care."

"It's a fucking travesty." Levi took a regretful gulp and bared his teeth with a hiss, placing the drink down in defeat. "I can't."

Erwin smiled, pushing his own to the side and glancing around, forgotten duties springing to mind now that the fog had cleared.

"So, your tests have all been alright?"

The raven haired male flinched, subject matter having been stashed to one side and he shrugged, suddenly aware of the possibility of a shelf-life much shorter than normal. Levi's chest tightened, a familiar sensation as he worked to calm himself down, return to base line and hold a normal conversation. He spread his palms on the surface, fingers splayed and tapping slightly.

"Yea. So far."

"You sound like you expect something else?"

Erwin weighed up the scene, saw a man with potential and a passion, one that couldn't be moulded into a solid reality and on top of that, Levi also had this metaphorical sword hanging over his head. And he looked tired, tired of it all as soft words replied.

"I kind of do, Erwin." There was a gaze of exhaustion now fixed on cobalt eyes, dark lids heavy and older than their actual years and Levi straightened, blowing away the morose cobwebs with a click of his tongue. "Better get back."

Their journey wasn't rushed but wasn't slow either, anticipation growing within Erwin as Levi spoke lowly.

"Sorry for…moaning."

A warm smile came in response and a sturdy arm around small shoulders, squeeze applied that drew Levi into Erwin's body and the shorter man breathed in deeply, appreciated the smell of faint cologne and warm flesh.

"To be honest Levi, it was a nice distraction from everything."

"I'm a distraction?"

He looked up, playful stare finding kindly eyes gazing back down and they shared a smirk, Erwin's retort true and uplifting.

"The best kind."

They made the rest of the walk in contented silence, Erwin's arm still holding tight and Levi bathed in the heat pressed into him, took comfort and sent his previously angst-ridden soul soaring high.

_If this is all it takes to make me happy…no. Don't finish that sentence. Get real. Don't fall in too hard and get disappointed again. But..._

Levi sighed lightly, made room for a little happiness as they approached the relevant room, Erwin's grip disappearing as he hurried forwards eagerly, brain now fixed on one goal. He gave a quick look to the damaged bike by the wall but kept that for another time, no need to enter into chats about life choices just yet and he opened the door quietly, ecstatic to see his father awake and sitting up.

"Dad!"

The blonde swept in with excitement, by the bedside immediately as the doctor stepped back, let their embrace continue for a short while as he checked paperwork and read-outs. Levi hung around by the entrance, hands behind his back and mouth smiling slightly at the happy reunion before the medic approached.

"Sorry, family only now."

"Of course." He didn't want to leave without saying anything, however he also didn't want to interrupt, conflict causing him to take small shuffles back with trepidation and a mouse-like voice. "Bye Erwin, Mr Smith."

"Oh Erwin, you didn't tell me you had company! Is that young Levi there? Come here son, how are you?"

The doctor raised a brow, held his palm out to invite the timid looking man inside for a moment and Levi scurried in, feeling strongly as if he was about to address a head teacher or magistrate. Erwin beamed, ecstatic to have his father lucid and seemingly his old self and he grinned up from his chair, catching silver shards and an awkward blush on Levi's face as the oldest in the room spoke once more.

"Not how I planned on meeting you again!"

"No Sir."

"Looks like you've been in the wars too! Quite the pair, aren't we?"

"Yes Sir."

The patient could tell that Levi was not in the most comfortable of positions and cut it short, spared any further awkwardness as he nodded to his son.

"Erwin, I think the doctor may need to do some tests…"

"Huh? Oh, right."

Erwin had been gratefully soaking up the albeit strained exchange, happy to see these two interacting and he initially missed the prompt, read his dad's expression after a few seconds and he rose, leading Levi to the door as the pale man gave a farewell.

"Hope you feel better soon, Sir."

"Already right as rain, my boy. Don't you worry."

The two paused by the door, hushed goodbyes exchanged.

"I don't know how long I'll be allowed to stay. Still have the kiosk to empty out."

"I can help."

"No, you go and get those cuts seen to Levi. Might as well while you're here?"

"Yea I guess." He turned to leave, unprepared to give Erwin a kiss goodbye with a small audience and Levi stopped, important thought surfacing. "Take my number?"

"Yes! I mean, sure. Fine. Good idea."

Erwin badly masked his glee as large thumbs tapped the digits in, saving Levi's details to his contact list with reddening cheeks.

_Why am I getting embarrassed? I'm not 13. Stop being such an idiot._

Levi enjoyed the view, left with more well-wishes and a promise to keep in touch as he wheeled his ailing bicycle away, intending on taking the advice and making for the emergency department. Around five minutes later and he was part of a long queue, the full waiting room pointing towards an excruciatingly slow afternoon, but really he had nothing better to do, the usual work in Erwin's booth cancelled for now. His pocket buzzed, a text coming through from the person in his thoughts, one simple word that made him chuckle quietly and reply.

'Hi.'

'Hi yourself'

'Is it busy there?'

'Fucking horrific. Gonna be here hours'

'I can stay with dad until five. Let me know if ur still around'

'K will do'

_Of course I'll be around. Even if these guys get their shit in gear, there's no way I'm leaving without him._

~~~~~~

Five o'clock arrived slowly, the wind now slightly more clement than before and Levi sat on a wall outside the hospital, cigarette burning and injuries patched up. It hadn't taken as long as expected, his medical history proving useful for once - any kind of trauma needed a quick check to be done, heart rate monitored as he had wounds cleaned and bandaged, two white patches taped firmly to each shin and one on the elbow. Whilst it didn't count as his full examination, Levi took his normal beat-rate as a good sign and looked up at the low clouds flying by, watched as they were blown swiftly to their next port of call without so much as a say-so.

Sometimes he felt his own life could be the same, swept along regardless of any desires or ambition, just another human caught up in the fast-flowing stream of existence and he focussed on one particular fluffy white blob, lower than the rest as it whisped past.

_Yea that's me. Racing to fuck knows what._

Erwin's short speech earlier had got him thinking. Maybe it was time to stop running everywhere and take a seat.

_What would I do though? Flower arranging? Accountancy course? Bee keeper? No. I'd still be running. Fuck._

Choices passed by all the time however this was a monumental one, not as easy as just picking up a new profession. With that came qualifications, experience, people-skills…and Levi had none of those.

_I might just…._

Erwin emerged into the pleasant early evening sun, looking renewed and, in Levi's eyes, practically glowing. His golden hair reflected intermittent light, those clouds now forgotten as all sorts of brightness shone down, surely an adonis walking towards Levi and he whimpered, the noise thankfully muted by passing traffic.

"All sorted?"

"Huh?"

"The cuts. All sorted, Levi?"

"Oh, right. Yea." He took a second to recover from the sight just witnessed and stood, bike lifted. "How's your Dad?"

"Bored. Wants to go home. But he understands." They began walking back into the centre of town, a busy rush hour in progress around them however the two were in their own little bubble, not bothered by anything external to their discussions. "It's good to see. Back to normal. I was worried for a while."

"It's natural to worry, Erwin." Levi looked up, checked for the signs of remorse and found plenty. Erwin of course felt guilty still, could feel it bearing down on his shoulders like a ton of bricks, but little by little it was lifting. "Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Blaming yourself. It's all over your face."

"Mmm.."

Erwin had little else to say as his place of work was reached, door unlocked to reveal a half-unpacked trolley, another reminder of his fast exit. They cleared up in silence initially, refrigerated goods left interred but many fresh items had to be trashed, time spent away from the protective cold rendering them inedible. Levi piled salvageable pastries carefully, tubs filled and he pulled on another pair of plastic gloves, keeping everything as sanitary as possible as he moved fluidly around the kiosk, Erwin's monotone voice suddenly making him jump.

"I'll open for the morning rush. Then close for visiting. Then back for lunch. Then close for visiting. Then back for the home commute."

"That's a lot of 'thens'. When do you get a break, Erwin?"

"I don't. Dad should be be home after tomorrow so it's just one day."

"I'll do what I can."

Erwin paused, turning to the man stacking paper cups neatly and he stared at the back of Levi's neck, studied the shorter hair that lay there and he lifted a hand, glove removed before reaching out.

_I want to let him know how much I appreciate everything. Painting the booth. Helping me every day. Coming to find me at the hospital. But what do I say? I'm no good with this._

He opted for the physical, warm palm settling on Levi's nape with a slight amount of pressure. The courier stopped his work, leant back into the touch and his eyes closed instinctively, throat threatening to actually start purring and he smiled lightly, nuzzling in as Erwin massaged with gentle squeezes of his fingers.

"Thank you, Levi."

"Nnngh."

"What's that?"

"I said 'no problem'…I think."

Erwin chuckled and stepped closer, other hand on Levi's waist and he chanced a small tug, brought the shorter man into his loose embrace which resulted in Erwin's chin resting on onyx strands.

"I'm a bit…shit with explaining myself."

"You're doing a fucking good job right now."

Levi relaxed, really relaxed for the first time in forever, let his muscles lose tension as he melted backwards, arms useless by his sides and body engulfed by another. Erwin placed a tiny kiss on his head, breathed in the scent of a long day which was both pure and masculine and the blonde closed his lids, enjoyed caring proximity as the preceding hours caught him up.

"I could stay here for days."

The mumbled words came with a shift in position, strong arms wrapped around Levi now as they both stood together, eyes shut and lips smiling. A pale hand lifted up, held a tanned forearm as they swapped emotions soundlessly. Shared thanks and condolences. Care and concern. Erwin's wish to remain like that for days was not to be granted though, mission still incomplete and with a sigh they parted, on with the task at hand but decidedly more lifted than before.

Once the booth had been sufficiently cleaned and stock taken, the two made a short journey to Erwin's apartment block, early evening sun bathing the scene with light pinks and orange hues, that inimitable time of day where everything seemed brighter yet dark at once. Levi pulled his bike with difficulty, bag of muffins slung over the other arm but he refused to show any weakness, steely determination on his face as he pressed on, wanting to be the sturdy one for another who needed and deserved a rock today.

_He's been through so much. What a shitty fucking day. Least I can do is carry some goddamn muffins._

The building loomed over them as Erwin rested the cart to one side, key twisting to unlock the main door and he effortlessly lifted his metal trolley over the step, kind but unsure face smiling down.

"Did you want to…I dunno…maybe…"

"Sure."

Erwin had turned bright red before he'd even asked his non-question, ears crimson and Levi stifled a smile as he watched the flush creep down towards the open collar of Erwin's tight shirt.

"Cool. Um…come on in."

Levi followed close behind, broken cycle stored in the void underneath the communal stairs and he watched with faint awe as the cart was carried up, not even a sign of discomfort coming from Erwin as they rose to the second floor, apartment door opened and they kicked their shoes off. Grey eyes swept over the visible layout - small but packed kitchen to the left, living space straight ahead and presumably the bed and bathroom led off from there, currently hidden from view as they unloaded the food, time checked and mental plan made.

"I need to make some more sandwiches. Cookies too. Sorry, I should have said before asking you in."

"You carry on. Anything I can do?"

Erwin grinned, apron unhooked from the wall and he shrugged, tiny huff of amusement coming in response.

"What?"

"Nice, Erwin. Very cute."

The flowery apron clung to the already figure-hugging ensemble on Erwin's body and Levi nudged him softy to the side, taking the initiative and soaping his hands at the sink. It meant he would be helping without saying as much and Erwin nodded, ingredients being stacked before he washed up too.

It was like operating in the kiosk, a perfect harmony to their motions as instructions were given and followed to the letter, recipes coming together and Levi took control of sandwiches, left the more tricky baking to Erwin. Unimportant chatter flowed as the trials suffered already today were forgotten for a while, men welcoming the respite in a cloud of flour and the heat of an oven.

Raw cookies were finally placed on a tray to cook, Levi's efforts wrapped in plain brown bags and sealed with personalised stickers, one marked slightly differently. Erwin frowned, noted the black X on a particularly large package and he looked to the other male for answers, getting a smirking admittance as a reply.

"That one's for us tomorrow."

"Us?"

"Won't be a lot of time to eat, Erwin. Got to make sure you get lunch."

Roles had been reversed - Erwin usually made Levi a sandwich, kept the food intake steady and he laughed, elbowing the smaller man as they cleared up in serene quiet. He set a timer, fridge opened and hand gesturing.

"Beer?"

"Oh fuck yes. Yes please."

Apron off, Erwin led them through to the couch as Levi nosed silently, ate up the space to get a better knowledge of his host. Large flat screen TV. Coffee table with photo frames and a neat stack of men's health magazines. A few candles. Sensible and useful furniture. Three other doors were present, one open to reveal a room containing fitness equipment and Erwin flicked the remote, easing himself down onto the leather sofa with a grunt of effort. Levi joined him, not too close but near enough, stare still on the home gym.

"You don't mess about, do you?"

"Hmm? Oh." Erwin smiled, the television currently set on an infomercial channel full of musclebound athletes advocating protein shakes. "No, I suppose not. I like to keep in shape."

Levi glanced over, saw the results through strained buttons as Erwin stretched his arm across the back of the couch, chest widened and on display.

_He's fucking ripped. And I'm tiny._

Self-doubt crept in and Levi folded up, legs crossed and arm held protectively over his abdomen whilst he downed half the beer, onslaught of bubbly liquid burning his throat. Erwin noticed the body language and changed the subject swiftly, tried to take any awkwardness away.

"Sold any figures lately?"

"Huh? Um, no. I need to though. Get a new front tyre."

"I hope I'm not stopping you?"

"No no, Monday's are slow. I'll go tomorrow. Food market."

They both nodded, understanding that consumables always brought more customers out and silence descended again, sweaty aerobic demonstration commencing on screen. Erwin changed channels, random numbers punched in and he found himself selecting a romantic film by mistake, mushy moment emblazoned on his retinas.

"Shit."

He fumbled the remote, dropped the black item and received a snort from Levi, cheeks burning bright as he placed his incredibly now empty beer down, snatching up the fallen object.

"It's ok Erwin. Everyone has a guilty pleasure. Even if it is chick flicks."

"I…I don't…it's not a pleasure!" More hurried pressing took place, adult chatline flashing up as a woman licked her thumb suggestively, pointing to the premium number on screen. "Oh I give up."

The flushed male hit standby, shutting off any more potential embarrassment and he grinned sheepishly, apologetic stare meeting amused silver.

"I meant it before."

"Meant what, Levi?"

Something lay in those impossibly glowing eyes and Erwin gulped, his query having come out in a raw whisper.

"You're cute."

Now it was Levi's turn to become red but he never broke contact, stomach flipping at what was surely a ridiculous method of flirting or paying a compliment however it seemed to work, Erwin sliding closer in a flash. Their lips came together, softly at first and Levi sighed, one palm instantly cupping Erwin's face as a hand laid heavy on his leg, fingers digging in.

Erwin gave a tiny moan, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss already and the action was reciprocated gladly, their tongues finding one another again and the blonde shuddered, ecstatic to have Levi's limb under his touch finally.

_These legs…so powerful…so gorgeous…_

Erwin's fantasies were coming true and Levi groaned, wholly caught up in desire as he made a brave move, used instinct before his nerves could take over and he changed position fast, straddling Erwin's lap without breaking away from the beautifully soft lips on his. There was a pull on the inside of Levi's thighs as his smaller frame adjusted to the large one beneath, a delicious dull throb which made him whine with pleasure.

_It hurts…it hurts so good…_

He wasn't one for pain, not in that way, but this was an incredible stretch to his muscles, one that he could most certainly get used to, one he needed to feel. It made everything real, more tangible and Levi placed his hands around the back of Erwin's neck, played slightly roughly with the darker hair as they got used to each other, explored what they may or may not enjoy.

The reaction was favourable, Erwin's muted growl certainly suggesting enjoyment and he stopped thinking, simply existed for the moment as trembling palms ran up and down the legs either side of him, moving further to take a hold of Levi's ass, pulling him inwards with a groan. They ground together, became aware of how excited they both were and Levi hummed, fingers dancing over Erwin's shirt to sample the solid chest he knew was under the fabric, hips rolling instinctively as he pinched an easily sourced nipple.

"Fuck…"

Erwins head had dropped back, wet mouth open and eyes closed so Levi took advantage, kisses pressed on the exposed neck. The noises he dragged from the eldest male made his erection twitch, any coherence gone as he pulled at white buttons, gaining access to bare flesh. Erwin panted quickly and squeezed at Levi harder, bringing him close as moist licks appeared on his pecs, hungry laps interspersed with equally ravenous lips and Levi hunched, back curled. He took Erwin's nipple gently, tongue playing in circles and the man beneath him cried out involuntarily, mind clouded by lust.

Erwin lifted his head, stared down with pleasure as he slipped a hot hand under the loose waistband of Levi's shorts, other palm forcing the raven haired male up so he could claim his mouth again, fingers stroking over perfect skin. Loud moans and deep exhales of breath accompanied their now sloppy kiss, teeth bumping and grazing lips whilst Erwin moved his touch, tickling at the base of Levi's spine and sliding lower.

Levi felt a burst of warmth as if liquid had been poured over his entire body, sure that in a matter of seconds something incredible was going to occur, Erwin's finger still travelling down between his buttocks and he gasped in anticipation, heart beating hard and veins shocked with ice. Erwin broke away, half-lidded eyes taking on a look of extreme need that nearly finished Levi, the usually clumsy and bashful cobalt now soaked in sexual intent and he nodded once, permission given.

Just to conclude their already fraught day in a suitable manner, the timer started to ring, shrill annoying rattling coming from the kitchen and they froze, staring widely at first as two sets of lungs heaved, all motions stopped and then Erwin began to laugh, rich and genuine. Levi rolled his eyes, brought back to Earth with a jolt and he pressed his lips together, own laughter bubbling to the surface and they collapsed together, tight hug shared before duty called.

"Saved by the bell?"

"I dunno about fucking saved, Erwin."

They knew the truth, though. It was too soon. This wasn't the right time, their fledgling relationship still starting out and to move so fast seemed wrong, seemed to sully what they had and the pair rose slowly, clothing rearranged and lips still buzzing as they went to rescue the cookies.

Smiles and touches kept going, hands washed in tandem with Erwin standing behind Levi, shared action speaking of something much deeper than the purely physical and they basked in this more sedate contact, dusted icing over round biscuits, tidied and cleaned. Domestic bliss, almost. When all jobs were completed Levi slipped his shoes on, saw how tired Erwin was and whilst a part of him wholly wanted to stay, he had the best interests of them both in the fore of his mind.

"I'd better be going."

"Yea."

Erwin giggled, out of nerves more than anything and Levi shook his head, wondering how someone so huge could be such an adorable mess. He took a step forwards into the apartment, grabbed the collar of Erwin's white shirt and brought him down to his level, mouth crashing into a slightly shocked one. The courier released his grip, smirk bringing the corner of his lips upwards and he tried to betray the butterflies currently thundering through his core.

"Get some sleep. You look like shit."

"Nice to spend time with you too, Levi."

Erwin took no offence whatsoever and waved the other man away on his journey, door closed quietly as his home now seemed so empty, meticulously clean kitchen and displaced sofa cushions the only evidence of another having been here. He sighed heavily, shattered but still too wired to consider sleeping and Erwin flopped to the couch, running a hand over the place where they'd been not long before.

"That could have gone a lot further."

He nodded at nothing in particular, content with how their evening had gone despite the halt in proceedings and switched on the TV, half-naked women writhing on the screen and he groaned, giggles erupting at the light-hearted end to a tumultuous day.

 


	14. Not Alone

Late evening traffic passed by as Levi tore home using the fastest pace he could manage, bike dragged desperately as he half-ran all the way, his mind reeling with what just happened. It had been a strange and stressful day, ending with an unexpected…

_Groping session, that's the best way to describe it. Fuck, hurry up!_

Images of Erwin's body beneath him were vivid like photographs, the sensations still clear and arousing and Levi rounded the final corner, a shaking free hand finding his keys. He lifted the metal cycle and carried it upstairs, unknown strength manifesting when most needed and he crashed into his small apartment, bike chucked against the closed door and he fumbled with locks, each one secured and Levi checked them twice, rushed to the window to ensure that too was safe.

His sofa-bed remained, as usual, in the sleeping position and he swiftly shuffled out of what felt like skin-tight clothes, erection bouncing up once freed and Levi threw his tee to the floor before collapsing down on the sheets.

_He's so fucking gorgeous…those eyes when he looked at me…holy shit._

Recent memories were utilised for the greater good and Levi stroked himself, slowly at first as he closed heavy lids, fatigue taking a back seat for now and he recalled everything about their steamy moment on the couch, each touch and breathy word, what could have followed. He squirmed, desperate to reach some release, fist now swiftly moving and most of his attention suddenly became focussed on the area near his soaked head and Levi squeezed tighter, throaty groan accompanying the end of a build up of sexual tension.

"Oh fuck…shittttttt."

He hissed loudly through clenched teeth, hot strands landing on his taught stomach whilst the last sixteen hours ebbed away, nature's relaxant doing the trick and Levi regulated his breathing, grabbed a tissue and cleaned what he could. Once able to, he rose with a yawn and shuffled to the bathroom, fingers scratching lightly at his head, the true epitome of 'tired human'.

Levi pulled the switch and lit up his tiny shower area, water running to reach the right temperature as he cleared his mind to prepare for sleep, tried to forget a certain individual and tune out. It proved pointless of course, thoughts bursting full of Erwin. His intense and sexually charged blue stare. How his voice had groaned loudly in pleasure. How Levi seemed to have found all the right places.

"Some of them, anyway."

He mumbled quietly with a smile while recalling the faint tug applied to Erwin's hair and the subsequent favourable reaction as he pulled away adhesive bandages, wounds revealed and ready to be washed. There was a sticky sheen to the exposed flesh, healing process underway already and turning the white padding a kind of watery yellow colour.

"Fucking disgusting."

Levi stepped in to the cubicle, warm streams running down pale skin and his grey eyes slowly slid shut, aches and pains soothed by the soft touch. He spent a while simply standing there, face turned up and muscles succumbing to a well needed liquid massage. It served to clarify his thoughts too, gave him time to sort and arrange the segments in his brain which until now had been a hot mess of Erwin. They still were to an extent and Levi flinched, shaking his head as an anchor to what mattered and he soaped up, cleaning with a faint smile.

Water drummed against his nape, deafening white noise eliminating the need to be fully aware and the day went by in flashes of colour. The wall. Panic. Hospitals. Revelations. The couch. Playing happy families in Erwin's kitchen. It had been a fraught Monday but also a good one and Levi shut the shower off, gentle pats applied around his wounds as the towel dried wet skin. He hung the dark item over a rack, straightening it out to avoid any unwanted creases which would hold moisture. Once satisfied, he grabbed a toothbrush and paste, brushing meticulously as his bedtime routine drew to a close.

Levi trailed naked into the main living area, glass of water taken to his nightstand and he quickly checked the door locks, hand twisting to ensure each one was tightly engaged. A final glance to the window confirmed security and he eventually dropped to the bed, body bouncing lightly. He reached out, using the dim light from outside as a guide and Levi sourced two things, a tin and his phone.

Deft and practised fingers rolled a thin yet perfect cigarette, filter included, and he lit the paper, taking a long weary drag with closed eyes as true rest settled in. Levi tapped over a metal ashtray and turned to his phone, flashes announcing at least one message was waiting. Upon opening the lock screen he saw not one but many, brows knotting and Levi left the cigarette in his mouth, both hands hurrying to find out what was wrong - he never received this amount in one go.

"Oh shit. Mike."

In all of the excitement he'd forgotten to update his friend, left him hanging and the series of texts spoke of growing concern that turned to faint annoyance. Typing rapidly, Levi replied with a belated and short message, aware of the late hour.

'All ok. Got a bit crazy but it's fine.'

He stretched, smoke blown out slowly when the screen lit up, the incoming caller ID showing a photo of a passed-out Mike after a night out and, for some reason that Levi couldn't recall, he was covered in blue paint. The green button was pressed and he lifted the phone with effort.

"Alright?"

"Ahhhh, so you are alive then, Levi?"

Levi nodded with a slight sideways motion, smirking lips allowing a huff of apologetic amusement.

"Yea I'm alive."

He heard the unmistakable sound of a beer cap being twisted off, instant thirst kicking in and Levi grumbled to himself.

_Dammit. Now I want a beer. Fuck sakes._

He rose, bare feet silently traversing the tiny apartment and he snagged a bottle from the fridge, device nestled in between his ear and shoulder as he opened the drink and gulped deeply.

"You could have told me, Levi. I get a frantic call from you then nothing all day!" Mike scowled behind long hair, half way between annoyed and joking. "Something could have happened. I've never heard you so stressed."

Levi blanched, his behaviour now sinking in - they both knew what 'something' meant and after having already been chided by Erwin earlier, he was glad that his friend hadn't elaborated.

"I know. Sorry, Mike."

"No worries. Now, tell me…hang on." Mike's voice got further away, evidently talking to someone else in his shared student accommodation and Levi clamped the phone in a shrug again, second unexpected cigarette rolled as he listened with a smile. "Is that your name on the tub? Is it?! No. It says 'Mike'. So back the fuck away from my food." The deep tones became clearer and their conversation continued. "Fucking students."

"Of which you are one?"

"Yea but I don't steal people's pasta."

"Just their vodka."

"Once, Levi. Once." They recalled one of the few drunken times Levi had visited, the nature of multiple occupancy being very unappealing to the shorter male and Mike moved the discussion on. "Anyway. How's your boyfriend?"

"He's not my damn boyfriend."

"Probably should be. People don't panic like that over no one."

"Whatever Mike." Levi sucked on the cigarette and flicked ash harshly, his full actions not about to be revealed. "And he's fine. His father was rushed to hospital but the outlook is good."

"I'm glad to hear it. So you got someone to cover for you?"

"Something like that."

There was a pause, Mike knowing full well that pressing the issue would get him nowhere so he changed the subject.

"The union's putting on another party in a couple of weeks. You should come. Bring your guy."

"What kind of party?"

"The usual. Cheap booze and live music. Nanaba's doing the main DJ set."

Levi searched his memory banks, looked furiously for a connection to the name and shamefully came up with nothing, beer finished in a last swig.

"Who?"

"Nanaba. She's on my course. You might've seen her in the halls?"

"Not sure. And don't shit a shitter, Mike. I can feel your blush from here."

Mike pouted, bottle slammed down as he stood with admittedly pinkish cheeks, his voice having apparently given him away to the one person capable of noticing.

"Fuck you, Levi. Are you coming to the party or not?"

"Maybe. Even if it is just to watch you flirt horrifically."

That was when Mike hung up, leaving his friend chuckling softly in the darkness. Levi sighed, a satisfied smile in place as he attempted bedtime again, teeth brushed once more, locks checked and he took up position on the sheets, yet another cigarette created because it was his usual process to do so. He rested back on the pillows, phone flicked open to show there was still one message remaining unread. From Erwin.

"Fuck."

Levi breathed the word out with an air of wonder, thumb hovering over the currently mysterious text. He bit his bottom lip, sudden childish embarrassment digging away in his chest, burrowing down to find a home and nervous sparks accompanied the press of a button, words springing up. Before he could read them Levi squeezed his eyes shut, certain that it would be a gentle 'it's not you, it's me' and 'maybe we shouldn't see each other so often', a spin on the usual dismissal which he had come to expect.

With more than a little trepidation and a thumping chest he lifted one lid, air instantly smacked from his lungs and cheeks burning bright at what awaited him.

'Thank you'.

_Thank you._

Levi paused, the blinking cursor patiently biding it's time until he got his shit together to coherently form a reply. His gut reaction was to respond with sarcasm, make a comment along the lines of 'what, for straddling your lap?' but he bit back that prompt, vowing to try and become a less acidic person, at least with Erwin. Levi had never let anyone get close, not really, not since his mother died. Mike was different, two friends with years of understanding and knowledge under their belts, however to open himself to another sounded daunting at best.

_Why is it any different to Mike though? I am clearly capable of keeping a fucking relationship going, even if it is purely platonic? I wonder how many relationships Erwin's had? Must be better at this than me. Anyone would be better at this than me._

They said time could heal wounds but it could also open old ones, erase what had gone before in an instant of self-doubt and anxiety. It was as if the day hadn't existed, Levi's small amount of previous confidence blown away into the dark, late hours of the night. Whilst he hadn't exactly turned into a sexually charged lapdancer, even the thought of what he'd done now sent creeping embarrassment over his flesh and he scowled, cursing his innate ability to turn an amazing occurrence into a shameful memory. Levi tried to reason with himself, talk some sense into a fatigued brain.

_Just because I don't usually fucking do that, it doesn't mean I was wrong. Erwin didn't seem to mind._

Tired grey eyes closed and Levi leaned back, frazzled thoughts battling with one another, a side finally picked as the favourite and he placed his bet. Chose a path and promised to stay on it.

_Fuck._

He typed swiftly, giving no time to second guess or re-evaluate what was being said and a pale finger jabbed the send button violently, phone locked and tossed to the mattress with a strained huff.

Erwin tucked the sides of his bedsheets under one leg, the respite in temperature coming to an end and he attempted to lie just right in order to pick up the breeze from outside, bare skin blessed by a faint ghost of fresh air. Despite the window being thrown fully open, it was still becoming unbearable and he shifted left to right, discomfort arising from more than just the weather.

He'd checked his phone at least thirty times, each instance met by a whole lot of nothing. Zilch. Empty inbox. With a heavy sigh Erwin turned over to treat his other leg to coolness and fumbled out for the device, fully aware of what could be a simple case of Levi having fallen asleep. But it ate away at him nonetheless, the lack of response gaining gravity the longer it went on until Erwin became sure that domestic bliss and ill fathers were not on Levi's to-do list.

_He's young. Should be out partying. Not worrying about my cookies and sandwiches._

Erwin held his breath, blowing it out seconds later in a slow methodical stream like a form of meditation, fighting the urge to look at the godforsaken thing in his hand. He wasn't needy, necessarily. Just…

"Totally screwed."

His own voice startled him, Erwin's blood running cold as if he'd missed a step on a staircase. To compound matters further, the buzz in his palm almost had him shrieking, unexpected reply shattering his silence and he struggled to key in the correct code, damned screen taunting Erwin with a countdown of how many mistakes he was going to be allowed.

"Christ, come on."

With gritted teeth and a substantial amount of loathing, Erwin calmed himself sufficiently, sitting cross legged on the bed now and hunched over his phone, careful taps entering four numbers. A squeak of jubilation accompanied access to the main menu and Erwin hung by the blue message icon, a red '1' telling him a single text was waiting. His eyes had widened, blood pumping fast around his body and the icon was selected, Levi's name shining brightly up.

Erwin's face began to shine too, blush taking him over and racing to his chest instantly as he grinned at the short but sweetly offensive message.

'No need to thank me. All in a day's work. Although I do wish we'd let your fucking cookies burn.'

The attack on his baking didn't bother Erwin at all, small chuckle reverberating around the apartment and he typed a reply, deleting words and adding some until what he considered to be a decent response was sent with haste. He glanced at the time, painfully aware of such an early start for them both but unable to cut this off when it had only just started.

'Maybe we could do something on a Friday then, unhindered by pastries?'

Erwin shuffled on the sheets impatiently, smile broad and finding it much easier to converse like this when not face to face. Something about the privacy alleviated any fuck-ups with language or saying the wrong thing - it also allowed Erwin to remain beetroot in colour, undiscovered.

Sitting up in a mirror of the one he was messaging, Levi wriggled and mulled over his next move. It was a bold suggestion, one unheard of from Erwin's actual mouth and he smirked, knowing that they would likely never make such comments in the flesh so he took advantage.

'You can wear that apron for me'

He'd set Erwin up and expected it to be knocked out the park, the obvious reply being predictable yet Levi craved to see it written in front of him, eagerly awaiting the inevitable. A vibration stirred him from lewd thoughts and Levi stared at the screen, initially speechless.

'Wouldn't it be a bit of a mood killer? It's a floral pattern?'

"Oh Erwin." Levi laughed and shook his head, glad to actually have the man he was getting to know instead of lewd sexting. It was much more satisfying and he answered kindly.

'That's true. You need to sleep. See you in the morning?'

'So do you. Sleep well.'

Erwin held off from hitting send, adding a 'x' as a last thought and he lay back, not caring that his body was already building up to sweat throughout the night - the chat had sent cool tingles across his whole being. The additional kiss dusted Levi's cheeks in a pink hue, gave him the final push needed to drift off into deserved slumber and he lingered between awake and asleep, lids moving rapidly and injured legs twitching.

~~~~~~

A piercing sound rattled through the apartment, loud and aggressive, images flashing in tandem with each shrill peal.

_But the bike can't be ready yet? We don't have time! Who said it was ready? Erwin? Don't let it burn, don't let it..._

"Burn!"

Levi was jolted from his sleep, skin covered in a sickly sheen of sweat and lungs begging for air. He sat up slowly, an unsteady hand passing through wet raven hair as inventory was taken, limbs all accounted for and whereabouts discovered. The dream had begun to leave him already, fading into mists of foggy recollections and shapes, nothing tangible to link to what had been going on apart from the incessant bleating from his bedside clock.

"Shut the fuck up."

A fist was slammed against plastic, Levi's groggy mind in no mood to take such an aural assault and he grumbled about nothing in particular, trailing off to relieve himself and jump in the shower.

~~~~~~

A lively whistle could be heard ringing through the early morning streets, tuneful and bright regardless of the muggy climate and Erwin pulled the cart with a spring in his step, excitement levels reaching their peak. He'd had something of a restless night, checking his phone in case of any news from the hospital - none had come, yet another reason to feel lifted and he virtually slid across the paved pedestrian square as if on a cloud, anticipation coiling internally like a box of springs.

Erwin sourced his keys, jangling metal swung in wide arcs from side to side and he stepped in time to the tune in his mind, feet tapping and dancing lightly despite his size. No one was around, not even Jean as Erwin hadn't been able to stay indoors any longer, arriving at work earlier than ever before so he abandoned the cart, allowing himself a fancy spin.

"Nice moves."

The blood drained from Erwin's face, his anonymous waltz now apparently discovered and it took him a second to place the voice, embarrassment overtaking common sense. Levi's casual stance by the booth had gone unnoticed, dark clothing helping him merge with the shadows and Erwin stared in silence, mouth hanging open.

Levi gave a small smile and shrugged, straightening from where he'd been leaning on hot wood, the panels already baked by the sun's heat and his soul felt similarly warmed, a strange prickling sensation gripping at his body.

_Why is he so damn fucking adorable?_

The impromptu dance session was over and Erwin grinned bashfully, face on fire and he dragged the day's produce across the final few meters to stop inches from Levi. Neither man said a word and they suddenly found their surroundings extremely interesting, eyes wandering to trees and concrete, glass and flowers, looking at anything but each other as the pair tried to find a suitable way in which to greet someone after what had occured the night before. Levi took a breath and held it inside, picking absent mindedly at his thumbnail in the process and thinking of how to break the awkward silence.

_Just say Hi. That would be good. Better than fucking nothing._

Erwin pulled his shirt down, closing the gaps around buttons and he jiggled one leg nervously, wide smile hiding mild horror as he held his own internal conversation.

_Do I shake his hand? Hug him? Kiss him? What? Why are my palms so sweaty?_

They both decided to act at the same time, gazes connected now and Erwin held his hand out, pulled it back into an uncertain ball by his side. Levi took a step forwards, arms lifting slightly as if about to execute a cuddle yet he too dropped his limbs, confusion etched on their expresions while stuttering movements brought them closer together.

"I…I umm…morning?"

Levi had discovered speech first, scratching the back of his head just underneath the band that kept his hair in place and he raised onto his toes, angling up with the intension of landing his lips on Erwin's cheek. The situation was mis-read. Badly. Erwin thought he'd seen Levi going for the previously aborted hand-shake and thrust his arm out eagerly to reciprocate, the two coming together in an unconventional manner. It resulted in Levi receiving a chest in the face and a hand on the crotch, neither necessarily unwanted however most certainly unexpected and Erwin gasped, the tiny whimper accompanying a moment which lasted a little too long.

"I'm sorry!"

Erwin flinched back after those few elongated seconds, looking down to see if he would be met by a thunderous glare. All he saw though was a placid image, no sign of the usual frown or general irritation that Levi held for life, just calm serenity and Erwin's large brows lifted in surprise.

"Why are you sorry? You smell nice."

Levi's voice was a rough whisper, almost apologetic and he tried again, reaching upwards to find Erwin's cheek. The kiss was soft as feathers, warm and comforting and Erwin's lids fluttered shut in blissful delight, his hand now resting on a smaller shoulder. Before he knew what he was doing, Levi slid his lips to the side, seeking out the matching pair that belonged on his, a supple and delicious mouth which he could still taste from yesterday.

It remained a chaste affair, no tongues or tangled limbs, simply a lingering kiss and Levi slowly lowered his heels to the ground, breaking contact with a tiny smile. Erwin remained dumbfounded, lids lifting eventually and he blinked once, consciousness blurry. Levi tilted his head to one side and enjoyed the scene, arm waved in front of him at the seemingly comatose human.

"Shall we try again, Erwin?"

"Hmm?"

"Morning."

"Oh, yea. Morning Levi."

They shared a light chuckle before moving to unlock the booth, two sets of hands working efficiently as food was set out in it's rightful place, the one large sandwich made specially for them stashed to the back of the refrigerator. Erwin paused, looking at the package wistfully as he recalled their time in his kitchen the night before. In a few hours he'd be tired, worked into a red sweaty mess and rushing to the hospital, hopefully to see a man well on the road to recovery - and after that, Erwin would return here to do it all again. But seeing the sandwich waiting…it meant more than just sustenance. It meant that he wasn't alone in this. 

 

 

 


	15. Significant

Less machines surrounded Erwin's father, less medical staffed rushed in and out and the patient acted his normal self, chatting and smiling as if just having a rest. Books lay piled on the night stand, man having made himself at home already and obviously he'd found the source of reading material. It didn't surprise Erwin one bit and he smiled, listening to an account of the time spent here so far. His Dad was animated yet softly spoken, warmly greeting the nurse who came to check on his vitals before picking up the conversation again.

"Anyway, son. As I was saying, you look well."

"Dad, it should be me passing comment on your appearance, not the other way around."

"Don't deflect. I'll be home soon but until then, I want to know what's got you so glowing." He smiled, weathered hand landing on a younger one. "As if I need to ask."

Erwin flushed, neck burning under the twinkling stare from his father and he laughed quietly, gaze shifted down to the sheets.

"No, you don't need to ask."

"I'm not wanting all the details. Just tell me Erwin. Were you safe?"

"Dad! It's not like that!"

"It's not?"

"Well it is but we…I…he…" Erwin struggled to remain composed, uncertain of these kinds of discussions with anyone, especially his dad, however the older man had a way of looking at people to get his answers. "We haven't done anything."

"Yet."

"No, not yet. But really, this isn't the sort of chat I was expecting. I'm twenty eight."

"And you're my boy. I take an interest."

"Maybe too much of one." The words were out before he could stop them, sullen and petulant as Erwin most definitely acted like a stroppy teen and he held a palm up in apology. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"No, I'm sorry. I don't intend it as prying, son. Just fatherly concern."

"I know dad." They shared a moment of silence, Erwin's shame abating at the genuine tone of the reply and he smiled, moving on. "Hows the arm?"

"Tingly still." A few flexes were given, fingers wiggled in a test of sorts. "Getting better though."

"Good. I'm glad." Another item on Erwin's agenda bubbled to the fore, grew heavy around his lungs until he had to force it outwards in a whisper. "I'm sorry."

"Why, son? It's my own damn fault for not wearing that silly alarm."

"But I…"

"No buts, Erwin. Not your place to feel bad. End of story."

"I…"

"End of story."

No arguing was to be had with that voice and Erwin bowed his head in a slow nod, still far from accepting it but prepared to move on in his Dad's presence at least.

Levi had taken advantage of the break from serving and cleaning, sitting at his worn desk with a brush in hand and face centimetres from the clay figure. He'd air dried the statues made at the weekend, culminating in a different finish and also impossible to glaze in his usual way so manual colouring was applied, still abstract in terms of hue with a metallic element. He dabbed carefully to create shadows and muscle definition, wiping the brush on a blue rag now and again before changing pigments.

Two hours. It would be a productive time but not long enough and he worked fast yet precisely, keen to complete as many as possible before sealing them later, ready to sell this evening. A reminder of why sat behind him against the wall, his broken bike staring over in disgust and contempt, chiding his drastic actions.

"Shut up. I had no choice. You'll get a new fucking wheel soon."

Levi knew he wasn't actually speaking to a bike, hadn't gone crazy just yet but shattered the quiet by mumbling to himself.

"I just need to get rid of…four of these."

Mental calculations led him to the conclusion, an attainable feat if the weather held out and he picked up the pace, deft fingers dancing with a flourish.

By ten to noon he was finished, eyes tired from peering so close and knuckles aching, an intense workout provided to his hands and Levi ran the cloth over exhausted joints, a soothing end which wiped and comforted in equal amounts. He always used the same fabric, cut from one blanket which had been his first as a baby, a singular reminder of infancy. One day though they would be tattered pile of worthless thread, no longer able to hold their own against the ravages of the washing machine so Levi kept one back, in a drawer for memory's sake.

He didn't have time to shower, simply sponge-cleaned in quick splashes with a scented bath foam and Levi pulled his clothing back on, humid air clinging to his scalp in itchy tickles.

When he arrived at the booth it was still closed, crowd of hungry customers wavering between leaving or setting up camp. Levi nonchalantly strolled around the back, leaning against wood and keeping to the shadows in an attempt to remain cool, his hiding place noticed by one of the throng.

"Hey! Is it gonna be open soon?"

"There's a sign." Levi threw a lazy hand towards the hatch, eyes never leaving the nails on his other fist as he inspected them for errant paint. "I suggest you read it."

"I did read it. No need to be rude."

"I'm not. I'm being perfectly civil." He still didn't look up, bit back the need to snap and spit venomous words but for the sake of Erwin's customer base, Levi tried his damnedest to keep calm despite the rising bile in his throat. "It says 'open at twelve-thirty'. Not twelve thirty yet."

"I can see that! But you're here?"

"And?" Now he lifted his gaze, pinned it onto an impatient man in a suit and Levi stopped his lips curling somehow, pressed them together before answering further. "I don't own the place."

"But you work here, right?"

"No."

"Bull. You're always here skulking around in the back. Come on and open up. I'm in a hurry."

"Like I said, I don't work here so I can't open up."

It was taking every ounce of good nature left in Levi's soul to stop the floodgates from bursting, patience at it's lowest ebb and he waited for the no doubt pushy retort.

"Well if you don't work here, why bother?"

"Why bother what?"

"Doing all the stuff you do. I see you washing and tidying, whats the point if you're not getting paid?"

Levi's teeth ground together, surely audible to the infuriating man stood sneering at him and he counted to ten in his mind, planning a milder reaction than what actually came out.

"Are you shitting me? Have you never heard of this little fucking concept called 'being nice'?"

Just before Levi could launch into a sarcastic and cutting speech, Erwin materialised by his side, a gentle hand on his arm in something of a warning.

"Won't be a minute, Sir."

The hold became stronger and Levi found himself being dragged slightly into the kiosk, door closed to separate the two adversaries and the shorter man fumed silently, glaring at paper cups as Erwin smiled, speaking out in a low tone.

"It's not worth it, Levi."

"But he…"

"Yes, he's an asshole. But it's not worth getting yourself worked up over him. That can't be good for your health."

Levi stared, unsure what to do in the face of a placating force as the stored anger needed some kind of release, begged for an outlet but he was not prepared to bombard Erwin with it so instead, Levi just gaped uselessly. The other man knew what to do though and stepped forwards, palms placed softly at the sides of Levi's neck and he began to massage his nape with precise fingers, relieving tension and admittedly enjoying the feel beneath his touch.

Erwin's chest was in Levi's line of sight, buttons stretching as each flex of muscles softened his own and he closed his eyes, jaw slack and he gave a rumbling moan, arms by his sides as Erwin moved across to his shoulders, rendering him as useful as a chocolate tea pot.

"Jeeeeeesus Erwin."

"Is it nice?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Feel ok? Relaxed?"

"Fuck yes."

Erwin fought the desire to stroke Levi's pink cheek, concentrating instead on the task at hand and he dug into tight balls of stress, wondering if Levi had ever been massaged before or if this was the result of a lifetime's worth of anxiety. He travelled down to defined shoulder blades, kneading with his knuckles in circular motions that brought Levi into him with jerking movements, the shorter male boneless and pliable.

"You should really get this done professionally."

"No. You do it just fine."

Levi lifted his lids, gazing up directly into sultry blue eyes that held the same craving seen last night and his stomach flipped, almost fell out of him with excitement and the hairs on his neck raised like electricity had taken up residence in his veins. Erwin's hands stopped, slid back to Levi's nape and he placed his thumbs on the other man's cheeks, cupping his face in a frame of flesh.

"Better?"

"Yes." The squeak of his voice sounded so far away to Levi, not his own and he gulped hard. "How's your Dad?"

"He's doing very well, thank you."

"Good."

Their lips met, brushing tentatively with gentle pecks, barely-there kisses sending jolts of passion into their chests and Levi hummed quietly, still limp and fluid like liquid.

"Levi…"

One breathy word changed everything, Levi's body finding strength once more and Erwin was suddenly on him, consuming with a hunger so intense it took the shorter of the two by surprise at first, something he overcame easily as he melted into the embrace, allowed himself to be pushed back against the closed door with a crash. Any of Erwin's awkwardness had been banished, uncontrollable desire enveloping his foggy brain and he slid his palms frantically under the hem of Levi's black shirt, finding warm skin to worship.

Their open mouths worked aimlessly yet in perfect rhythm, Erwin's thigh finding it's way between Levi's as if it belonged there, nestling deeper and they ground together, enjoyed an exquisite moment of abandonment. Erwin leant down, lips slipping across a pounding jugular and he breathed in slowly through his nose, the scent of sharp berry mixing with honest sweat, a combination that set him on fire as masculine purity filled his nostrils, shuddering groan showing his admiration.

Erwin lapped at burning flesh like he was coming out of a week-long fast and Levi threw his head back into solid wood, the thump not even registering, fingers running tightly through blonde hair and landing in a steadfast grip. Neither wanted to stop, could easily carry on for hours but they both reached realisation at the same time, red faces meeting with gasps.

"We should…"

"Yea…"

Levi stared without the ability to breathe, captivated wholly and mouth pulling up into a smile as Erwin stepped back, straightening his shirt with a bashful grin. They sorted items in silence, quick job made easy as the main organising had taken place this morning and Erwin moved to unlock the hatch, sparing a brief glance over his shoulder. Levi ran water in the tiny sink, rinsing his hands before touching anything consumable, nothing special going on yet Erwin felt a compelling need to speak out loud the sentence which was stuck in his throat.

"I missed you."

"Hmm?"

Levi couldn't hear over the sound from the basin and he shut the tap off, turning with an open expression that looked eager and innocent, the clenched fist around Erwin's heart growing tighter still yet he wasn't in a position to repeat his utterance, instantly shy.

"I said I'm opening up."

His booming declaration was met by a loud 'about time' and the pair rolled their eyes in tandem, tuts shared as the hatch lifted to reveal a crowd, headed by Levi's recent foe.

"At last. It's lucky those sandwiches are the best in town because your customer service is shit."

Not even the snarky comment could get to Levi now, a shield of invisible contentment buzzing around him and he waved with mock enthusiasm much to the distaste of the patron. Erwin tried his best to suppress the giggle in his throat and went about fetching the man's usual order, scanning the queue at the same time to mentally note every person. He knew most of them, if not by name, and lined up cups ready to be filled in sequence, using his own little monickers.

_Mrs Tall Latte extra shot…Little Miss Green Tea…Mr Two Danish Pastries…_

Levi assisted where he could, cleaned when he couldn't and generally soaked up the busy hour and half they would have together before their short lunch break and another period of being apart, albeit for good reasons. Customers passed by in a sea of anonymous blurs, hands exchanged goods and utensils, always with a faint brush of fingers and smiles.

_I don't think I've ever smiled so much. How does he do it to me? Am I one of those dumb mushy fuckers who dotes on their other half now? Is Erwin even my other half? How do we know?_

And it was with these kinds of thoughts that Levi completed his latest batch of work, the rumbling of metal and turning of a key signalling they were once more locked away from view. Erwin tidied the essentials, stomach growling loudly and he reached to the back of his tiny refrigerated unit, pulling out the one remaining mammoth sandwich. The paper was still intact, black X marking the spot and he gestured to a couple of plastic crates, their dining table for the afternoon.

Levi looked beside him with a kind smile, Erwin's knees practically at his ears as he sat on the low makeshift chair, inhaling his half of the sandwich while Levi took small bites.

_He must be starving. I should've made two._

Erwin wiped some mayo away with the back of his hand, lips cleaned and he wiggled his finger in the air, suggesting incoming words were waiting to be released after the food had been swallowed down and Levi waited patiently, a type of excitement growing on Erwin's face.

"I saw something on the way over."

"Yea?"

"Mm hmm." Erwin took his last mouthful and rubbed his palms together, legs stretched out before him as far as the limited space would allow. "That was the best sandwich, Levi. You put me to shame."

"Don't worry, your job is safe. I just slapped a whole load of crap in there."

"Well, the crap tasted excellent, thank you. Thirsty?" A nod confirmed and Erwin reached round to the fridge, pulling out two iced teas and passing one to Levi. "Anyway, the thing I saw?"

Refreshing liquid ran down Levi's throat, chilled his stomach instantly and he motioned for the conversation to continue, not ready to give up on his drink just yet.

"A store to let. Just up the road. And…" Erwin paused for effect, tea sipped noisily. "It has a kitchen out the back. Already got a license to be a food premises."

Levi had ceased his chugging, lay the bottle to one side as he regarded the enthusiastic man at his left.

"You're interested?"

"Damn right! The rent is cheap, needs a lot of work and new fixtures by the look of it, but I'd have enough room to do cooked breakfasts. Real lunches. Not just pre-made stuff."

They sat in silence, contemplating the new information and potential business venture. Erwin had already started planning colour schemes and where his beloved coffee machine would go, what kind of layout to choose and the fact that he'd no longer be such a slave to his preparations each night - a proper kitchen on-site meant Erwin could bake and assemble mostly in the morning, a thought which sent shivers of childish glee through his bones.

Levi considered the other side of practical, weighed up figures and timings, not to crush Erwin's soul but to be realistic and he scratched the back of his neck, sudden prickly heat attacking Levi's nape as he muttered quietly.

"Would you have time? I mean…to make it all, serve, clean…I don't want you to wear yourself down."

Erwin glanced over to see Levi pulling and fretting with a loose thread at the hem of his shorts, pale muscular legs extending beneath and the blonde found himself temporarily mute, taking in the well formed and desirable limbs with a dry throat. Even a slight touch would suffice, a brush against powerful calves…that's all he wanted and Erwin spoke in a monotone voice, reply given without enough filter as blue eyes held an obscene amount of lust.

"With the extra income I could hire someone. Probably Jean. And who knows, I might even start offering a delivery service." Erwin froze, lifting his gaze to meet a wide silver stare. "I mean…not that you'd want to…it wouldn't pay as well but…"

"Erwin?"

"…I suppose you could reduce your current hours and do both, this would be much more relaxed. No need to rush left right and centre and also no one knows the roads and short cuts like you do. That is if you'd be interested, I haven't even thought the whole thing through but it sounds like a good idea, we wouldn't be in each other's pockets or anything…"

"Stop."

Erwin looked on in slight fear, picking at the label on his bottle and muscles clenching tightly.

_I've gone too far. Got carried away. Who the hell offers non-existent jobs to the guy they're…dating? Are we dating? I want to be. Shall I ask him? Or is that just pathetic? Shit, what do I do?_

Levi was watching with a bemused expression, Erwin's eyes having clouded over as he clearly held a private conversation of sorts, presumably around his kind yet insistent demand to cease rambling, something which Levi reckoned he should probably explain.

"I meant…stop…like, I guess…it…if the figures all work?"

"Will you go out with me?"

It wasn't what Levi had expected to hear, his own thoughts from earlier having been spoken out loud and he exhaled quickly as if punched in the gut, stomach curling inwards to mimic the sound and he gave a single breathless laugh, head bobbing softly.

"Yes."

No sly comments, no sardonic jibes, just a simple acceptance and the pair sat in excruciating silence, their bodies vibrating with glee. They couldn't think of what to say next, subject matter well and truly changed, set on a new path and Erwin rose, hand offered to assist Levi from his crate. A smaller grip held tight, palms warm against one another and Erwin brushed his thumb over lightly trembling skin before pulling gently, bringing them close together.

Levi could feel Erwin's quick breaths on his nose, face angled upwards and he acted on nature's instinct, curling his arms around Erwin's waist and holding his own wrists to complete the loop. In turn he received a similar gesture at his shoulders, large biceps acting as blinkers to Levi's line of sight but he wouldn't have looked anywhere else right now, thoroughly enthralled and he carefully studied the features which filled his vision.

Eyes brighter than any ocean. Lips soft as clouds. Cheeks pink and chiselled, gorgeous features framed by golden hair that appeared to sparkle even in the dimly lit booth. Levi didn't know if the query was considered dated in this modern era, tantamount to old-fashioned chivalry perhaps yet he gave no shits about protocol, never one to subscribe go the norm so he smiled, wide and true.

Erwin had seen it briefly before, a fleeting window into real emotion however Levi hadn't ever looked so…at peace.

_Did I do this? He's…_

"There's a thing in a couple of weeks. At the uni bar. Music and shit."

The flicker of a grin played on Erwin's mouth as he struggled to remain stoic, head tilted playfully and the man purred his deep retort.

"Mr Ackerman, are you asking me on a date?"

Every single hair stood on end across Levi's flesh, jumped up in unison as the Erwin from the couch incident materialised, lids low and physical form incredibly commanding.

"How do you do that?" Levi's tone was as unsteady as his legs now felt, soft and useless and he was grateful for the hold he had on Erwin's waist, surely about to fall if not for the solid anchor. "How do you…"

"Do what?"

Erwin was back to his usual flustered self, panic clawing at the pit of his stomach due to total confusion but he stayed in place, didn't break the embrace even if his nerves were screaming to do so and the conversation continued.

"Your voice. The way you look at me."

"I…I don't know what you mean?"

"It's not a bad thing, Erwin." Levi's heart rate had slowed, strangely calm and somewhat in control of the situation for once and his hands wandered down, tentatively giving a squeeze to Erwin's ass and receiving a small squeak in return, a rare moment of philosophical musing on the way. "It's…when we're this close…maybe we don't feel so fucking awkward? Maybe. I don't know."

"I like that."

"Yea?"

"Yea."

They shared a smile, pressed tightly to one another even in the sweltering heat and a collective sigh ended their brief time together, duty calling elsewhere. Levi walked with Erwin, a route out of his way but the taller man had something to show him, grabbed his hand and tugged in excitement as they approached an empty store, one with a large purple 'To Let' sign attached to the front.

"Well, what do you think?"

Erwin held his fists to his chest, wide blue eyes almost begging for validation while Levi cast a scrutinising stare over the premises.

"You'd need to see inside. Check facilities. Measure up. Do sums. But," he drawled, glancing over his shoulder. "I'm guessing you've already made up your mind?"

The response of a wide grin and red cheeks said it all - Erwin was clearly a "go all in or go home" kind of person and Levi pushed his lips together, nodding slightly.

"So you like it, Levi?"

"It's in a good position. Plenty passing trade."

A babbling torrent of anticipation flowed throughout the rest of their journey, Erwin's hopes and dreams spilling into the stale afternoon air and it became obvious to Levi that this had been meticulously planned for months if not years, the mechanisms for making such a move likely already good to go. He watched the epitome of happiness by his side, bathed in the radiating joy and soaked it up, allowed ambition to permeate his soul.

Perhaps one day Levi would have such a goal, such a grand design but for now he was content to share in this one, play his part and be as valuable as possible in helping Erwin achieve his vision.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Much larger word count than intended, oops


	16. Words

Money was counted, folded neatly, counted again just to make sure before being placed in a box then hidden behind socks with a tired hand. Levi took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds then exhaled in a vaguely trembling puff. He'd needed to sell four figurines to afford a decent wheel replacement, sort out any major scuffs on the bike's frame and generally get it tuned up, only four. Yet something had seemed to be in the air at the market this evening, a clement breeze of generosity which saw Levi now in the possession of the proceeds of not four but all thirteen statues. Every single one sold, and way before closing time.

"Maybe painting by hand is more popular?"

He mumbled into the silent apartment, eyes narrowed by fatigue and stare sweeping over to the jar of his usual glaze, an easier way of achieving colour however this new way did cut out the need to visit Mike's kiln in secret.

_Might be for the best. I can't keep fucking imposing on him. Shit._

A duty occurred to Levi and he snatched at his phone, body falling easily to the bed and he allowed soft pillows to soothe his weary muscles, became enveloped in the fluffy and unecessary amount of cushions.

_And this is why I bought a shit ton of them._

Words were typed, accepting Mike's invitation to whatever the event at the uni was called and Levi gnawed at his bottom lip, terminology causing issues so he spoke them out loud to test their worth.

"Me and my boyfriend…no. Too fucking soft." Delete delete delete. "Me and my partner…fuck no." Delete delete delete. "Me and Erwin will be there."

It appeared to do the trick and he hit send, mind alert despite needing to sleep as Levi replayed the long day that now lay in the past.

_I suppose I do have a boyfriend. Sounds so damn cheesy. I've never had a boyfriend before. What am I supposed to do with this?_

Buzzing messages failed to bring Levi from his thoughts and his aching leg did little to distract him either, a dull throb radiating from the shin in pulsing waves and he pushed dark hair from his eyes, forehead sticky with sweat in the evening heat.

_Do I call Erwin? Is that how it works?_

The incessant vibrations finally caught Levi's attention and he stared down, texts lining up and waiting for a reply. Mike had either been responsible for all or at least the most recent ones so Levi tackled that conversation thread first, opening the screen with a flick of his finger and he read the string of words lazily.

'It's going to be fucking messy'

'Nanaba is an awesome DJ'

'So I get to meet your wife then, huh?'

'I hope he drinks cheap cider'

'What's he like?'

All of this could have been just one message but Levi smirked as he responded swiftly.

'He's Erwin. You'll see for yourself. He'll probably start helping to serve beers or some shit like that'

It wouldn't surprise Levi actually - some people were born to play host, charm customers and generally make sure everyone was ok and having a good time, directly the opposite to Levi's demeanour of 'keep to yourself and stay antisocial.'

That led him to another worry, one which had been increasingly gnawing at his mind - why? Why did Erwin like him? Levi was most certainly not in the same class of personality, had little to give in terms of dazzling conversation and smooth talk. Then there came the issue of size, a seemingly unimportant point that still drove Levi to question his tiny frame. But a matter lay nakedly true, a cliché perhaps.

"They say that opposites attract."

His voice was soft, almost jovial and he laughed once with a quiet bark, Mike's 'lol' reply taken as a natural end to their conversation so Levi moved on to the next message, his heart jumping at the sender's name. Erwin. At first he couldn't look, instead placed the phone down and closed his eyes, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose whilst he imagined what might lay in those typed words.

Regret. Changing opinions. Swift turn in sentiment. The innate need to think the worst surfaced and Levi swallowed it down physically, his dry mouth suddenly feeling more arid than the Sahara. He had to do it quickly, get the proverbial band aid pulled off like the actual ones on his body and with gritted teeth, Levi revealed his fate.

'How did you get on at the market? Dad's doing well, will be home tomorrow afternoon! Thanks for listening to me ramble about the store, I got a bit carried away. How are you?'

Panic over, Levi unclenched and gave a speedy response, the wretched sensation in his stomach now faded to nothing other than excited butterflies. He hurried the reply so as not to keep Erwin waiting, aware that the other man could also be anticipating a cut in communication.

Erwin relaxed back on his sofa, hair still wet from the shower he'd taken after working out, only half an hour today on the treadmill. It upset him to have such a short spell, fancied that he could feel his body becoming flabby and uncared for, all nonsense of course however the thoughts wouldn't leave him alone.

_I have been productive, though. Got a lot done._

The results of Erwin's hard work lay spread across the coffee table, papers full of scribbles and figures, his plans and suppositions from earlier now set down in black and white. It made the prospect of having his own store more real, gave gravity and substance to his dreams - he was far from finished though, additional items still to consider and he sniffed once, tomorrow's muffins nearly ready to take from the oven  
  
"One day and I can do this in the morning."

Erwin ran a tired hand through damp blonde strands, a heavy sigh of fatigue joining the weary gesture and his phone chimed, a new message waiting to be read.

_Please be Levi please be Levi please be…yes!_

'Market went well. Sold them all. I'll have money left over for the party, if you're still up for it? Great news about your dad. What are your plans tomorrow? And don't apologise for talking about things you're passionate about.'

With a warm smile Erwin squirmed on the couch into a better position, the ache in his legs just starting to creep in after exercise and he winced, revelling in the pull. He felt an incredible pride, Erwin's own high opinion of Levi's skills having been recognised by the public too, fingers dancing on his screen in response as a conversation began in earnest.

'That's fantastic Levi! See, I told you. You're very talented. And I would love to come to the party, just tell me when and I'll be there! Tomorrow will be hectic. Usual early start, through until about 2 and then I'll pick up Dad, stay with him until I get told to leave, back home to bake. What about you?'

'I'll meet you at the booth if you don't mind me getting under your feet again. Why would you be told to leave?'

Erwin had to laugh at the differences, Levi's texts being to the point and stripped down, no padding or emotion whereas his own rambled slightly, heavy on the exclamation marks, a small thing to notice but it made him happy. He needed an opposite, someone to keep him grounded before his imagination and ambition ran away into the ridiculous.

'Of course I don't mind Levi! You'd never be under my feet. If you want to stay home and rest though, that's fine. You are supposed to be on sick leave after all. Are you going back to the doctors? I've upgraded Dad's care routine at the home. It's still his own place, but a nurse will check on him throughout the day, make sure he's taking his meds, help a bit more with cooking etc and make sure he gets enough rest.' Erwin paused, a bitter taste in his mouth. 'I wish I could do more but…you know. Work! Got to earn a living!'

Levi stared at his phone, jaw grinding as he soaked up the words staring back at him. He couldn't hear Erwin or see him, however the guilt was evident and he sighed heavily, pushing his hair back and cursing humidity as a side thought. The text from Erwin combined with the oppressive heat and made his skin prickle uncomfortably, twisted his gut and Levi took a deep breath, warm air filling his lungs in place of the desired icy blast as he replied, ignoring anything unimportant.

'It's not your fault, Erwin. You can't take everything on your own shoulders. Extra care at the home is a good idea, that's what they're there for. You are doing all you can. Don't blame yourself.'

Just like that, Levi had read between the lines and wrenched out the stark truth with ease, pinpointed Erwin's issue and addressed only that whilst sweeping away the forced sense of happiness. Erwin sat perfectly still, mulling everything over, trying this on for size. Not only was Levi talented with clay, he appeared to be talented in other ways, could seemingly view Erwin like an open book, a fact which made Erwin both excited and afraid. He had always been able to hide his feelings to an extent, sometimes even from his father, yet now he was laid bare.

_It was the same before. I couldn't hide that I liked Levi. I lost my cool around him. What is it about him? Shit, the muffins…_

Erwin raced to salvage his latest baking and placed the tray down to cool, next batch of pastries lines up and he adjusted the oven, correct temperature set. Half an hour and they'd be ready. He snatched a beer from the fridge, cap twisted off swiftly and Erwin slumped into his couch once more, measuring his next move, Levi now coming with an added dimension. His thumbs hung over the screen, hesitant at first until Erwin decided to tread somewhat carefully.

'I didn't know you were a therapist in your free time, Levi.' He added a smiley face, keeping it cool. 'But I'm fine.'

Levi snorted, tutting once for good measure too and he shook his head, hunched now and typing fast.

'Cut the crap. No you're not fine. You're blaming yourself still. That shit will end up eating you alive.'

They both knew that this kind of naked conversation would never have taken place face to face, the safety of speechless discussions bringing out honesty. Erwin smiled, his word being challenged but rightly so and he softened, let his guard down slightly.

'Ok Levi, I'll admit that I do feel responsible. But if I didn't, wouldn't that make me a bit of a shit son?'

'There's feeling responsible and then there's guilt. Two very different things, Erwin.' Levi was restless and tired, his protectiveness perhaps sounding like a telling-off so he added another message quickly. 'Don't be consumed by it. Talk to me.'

There was a special time of day when people became truthful and more open to soul-searching, usually in the space between needing to sleep and actually doing so, the pair deeply entrenched in that window. Erwin nodded, weary head feeling heavy and overly large. His brain hurt, his remorse flared, but Levi's invitation pulled without being insistent and Erwin relented.

'He's all I have left, Levi. It scares me.'

Levi lay back down, arm over his forehead as he contemplated his reply. No one else had ever caused concern in him like this, not even Mike - if an issue presented itself, he would offer the same to his friend without doubt, but something about Erwin spoke of a deep sadness, his kind and generous demeanour likely masking darker thoughts.

_I hope I don't make this worse. Fuck._

He chewed at his thumb, nervous and unsure. What was happening? Did Erwin want to talk? Was he being annoying by asking questions? Levi had no idea how to navigate this situation, no prior experience but it wasn't about to stop him from trying.

'That's understandable. But you're all he has too, is that right?'

'Yes.'

One word answers were not encouraging and Levi frowned, choosing a different desperate tact.

'We don't have to talk about that. We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. You can tell me about the store?'

Erwin laughed, a dry sound which still had good humour and he shook his head, imagining Levi trying to negotiate social interactions and decode texts.

'Sorry, I do want to. Just checking the pastries so I couldn't type more.'

'Oh. Ok.'

Levi relaxed slightly, his stomach growling with annoyance. In all the excitement of the day and then rushing to the market afterwards, he'd completely forgotten to eat.

"Fuck."

He knew the cupboards were empty apart from some questionable breakfast cereal so he glanced at the time. Four minutes until the corner shop closed.

"Fuck!"

He swiftly sent another message explaining his short absence and pushed his sneakers half on, hopping around the tiny apartment to reach the window. Levi tugged on the handle, and then again, checking security for a third and final time before racing out the door, locks clunking. He pulled the shoes over his heels in the process, ready to go and taking the stairs two at once. Not much traffic passed by and his sprint was unhindered, no pedestrians to get in his way and he crashed into the store, bell ringing and lungs burning.

The proprietor looked over with annoyance, made an exaggerated show of checking his watch and he grumbled loudly.

"I close in two minutes."

"I'll be finished in one."

Levi's determination lay etched on his face as anything with a yellow 'reduced' sticker was grabbed, arms full in thirty seconds and he even had a chance to snag a four pack of beer, the strong cheap shit and he spilled his goods onto the counter, proudly noting the time, if a little breathless.

"That was impressive."

"Thanks. Hungry."

Levi smirked, leaving the shopkeeper with a nod and a thank you before rushing home again, his spoils spread over the pockmarked table and he cracked open a beer, sifting through the food to discover what he'd actually managed to get. Some bacon and eggs, bread, bananas, cured ham and cheese slices. A good enough haul and Levi decided to leave the cooking for breakfast, making a quick sandwich and settling down with his phone again. Erwin had messaged during his outing and Levi opened the conversation with a swipe.

'I hope you got something?'

'Yea, it'll do.'

'Welcome back Levi. Did you still want to hear my ramblings?'

'Of course.'

'Ok, give me two minutes.'

Erwin sorted the last batch of baking, dusted the pastries with icing sugar and got another beer - he felt mild guilt at undoing all of his work earlier just for the frivolity of alcohol, but it had been a fraught and interesting few days. Settled now, Erwin switched on a random music channel for background noise and put his feet up, careful not to displace the paperwork. Being able to talk without having to look someone in the eye suited him just fine and he started, sending short bursts of information Levi's way and hoping it came out alright.

'I have no siblings, it's been my job to look after Dad since Mum died.'

'You were only young though Erwin?'

'Yes, but he lost a piece of himself that day. We both did.'

Levi took a shaking inhale of breath, glad that Erwin was opening up but frightened of getting so deep that it upset him and Levi went for his usual - the obvious truth.

'So you need one another equally. It's not your job, Erwin.'

'The older he gets though. I'm terrified.'

'Don't spend your time fretting, then.'

Erwin had to laugh, took a long gulp of beer as he read the message again. It was Levi's version of a filter, he presumed. A nicer way of saying 'he will die one day and probably sooner rather than later, so don't waste time' and Erwin nodded, his heartfelt reply short but meaningful.

'Thank you. I needed to hear that.'

Levi lit the roll-up which hung between his lips, burning flecks of paper springing up and turning to nothing before his eyes, as fleeting as life itself and he mumbled quietly at that thought.

"That's fucking depressing, isn't it? Christ."

He contemplated his next text, flicking ash carefully where it belonged and a glimmer of a smile tugged his lips upwards, decision made. Things had to be lifted somewhat and Levi felt comfortable enough to do so.

'Anytime. So, whilst I seem to be good at giving advice today, you got any more problems Erwin?'

There was always the chance that it wouldn't be taken in good spirits but Levi had risked it anyway, his stomach twitching in nervous anticipation. Every minute that passed lay heavy on his chest, phone checked an inordinate amount of times as he worried and nipped at the skin beside his thumbnail. What he'd said wasn't exactly rude, yet Levi still felt a dropping sensation when his twentieth glance showed that no texts were waiting.

_Fuck. I belittled it. Everything Erwin said. I just pissed all over it, what the fuck is wrong with me?_

Levi huffed at himself and contemplated punching something just to get rid of the wretchedness inside, let self-hatred out in a physical format. Instead he simply lay there, fretting.

_I may as well give up now. Destined to either be alone or with some prick who doesn't give a shit, just wants a fuck when they get home. My own fault. Why can't I just hold a nice normal convers…_

His loathing was cut short, notification light blinking and Levi felt nauseous, throat jumping in spasms as his cheap dinner threatened to make another appearance. He'd wound himself up expertly in a short space of time, convinced it would be bad news shown on the screen. Expecting the worst was second nature to Levi, a fact that remained unacknowledged by his own mind - should he be open with himself, the truth would perhaps shock him. Levi feared abandonment, and unsurprisingly so, but he'd never admit as much.

Not far away, Erwin chuckled and took pleasure in Levi's sense of humour, the way he moved on from a solemn subject with bluntness - Erwin really did need this, a safe place to say what was on his mind without getting into the realms of someone tip-toeing around difficult topics. Also, going to sleep on a downer wouldn't do and he noted the time, aware that as usual they both would have an early rise, yet again smiling at how Levi moved effortlessly from serious to a much better mood just before bed.

_I wonder if he knows he's doing it? Or is this just Levi without trying?_

Either way, Erwin knew what he wanted to say but held back for a bit, the message ready to go however he experienced a pang of fear, backed out of his phone and packed the pastries up instead. It only took five minutes but he required that break to think, build his courage and Erwin became resolute, buttons pressed as he sent an incredibly embarrassing but true statement.

'I do have one problem actually, Levi. You're not here in my arms.'

Erwin turned his phone off, then back on again just in case, his face bright red and burning like the sun.

_Shit shit shit shit what did I say that for, he must think I'm a goddamn creep, oh shit shit shit…_

The internal chanting continued as Erwin jittered his way through washing and brushing his teeth, bedroom windows thrown wide open to let the pitiful breeze in and only once he'd collapsed to the sheets did Erwin dare look.

Levi's reaction resembled some kind of seizure, initially frozen in place and mouth flinching, soundlessly speaking the words out loud. He blinked continuously, head flicking in tiny shakes of incomprehension. It made his gut churn with want and Levi felt numbness spreading throughout his body, chills racing across previously hot flesh and he was sure he'd read it wrong. Had to have read it wrong.

His lips mumbled through the text again, making it real by adding a voice towards the end.

"…in my arms. Fuck."

His shoulders started to tremble, tiny hitches of laughter accompanying Levi's slowly shaking head. Despite being overcome by what was the closest thing Levi got to 'losing it', he still basked in the warmth of knowledge - Erwin had meant it whole heartedly, no pretence or bullshitting, no ploy to get into Levi's pants, just Erwin being Erwin. Mini episode over, Levi sighed and typed fast, no offence intended.

'You smooth fucker, Erwin. Go to sleep before any more of that shit comes out of your head."

It was Levi's way of deflecting from what had sincerely tugged at his heart, barriers up and protecting against emotion - there was no peace to be attained whilst lying here alone craving the arms of another.

Erwin grinned, fully accepting that response and he chuckled deeply, weary body ready to do as instructed and drift into slumber, a final text sent.

'Understood Levi. I'll save it up for when I see you tomorrow instead. Sweet dreams.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, but this one is back! The chapter was meant to actually move on to other things but they got to chatting, I didn't want to interrupt...


	17. Return

They worked together as if this partnership had spanned decades, longer than their collective years at least and Erwin stretched to one side, reaching for a paper cup as Levi deftly leaned back, missing being punched in the face by a hair's breadth. For hours they'd served in tandem, taking quiet moments as a chance to chat and avoid any discussion on last night's texts. Erwin's late evening declaration hadn't been brought up by either man; it seemed too real when in person, far too embarrassing so instead they'd made do with small talk and fleeting touches.

Their current customer left with a smile and a wave, Erwin's strong arm pulling the shutter down to plunge the pair into solitude and relative silence. Human traffic passed by, the nearby road joining in to provide a faint soundtrack which wasn't nearly loud enough - there was no excuse to remain tight-lipped now and Levi washed the final utensils, tiny sink bubbling over with suds as he paid rather unwarranted close attention to some serving tongs.

Erwin sighed and wiped his hands on the small apron, crouching to pull out another mammoth sandwich for them to share, one he'd made this morning. Crates were used again, two figures crashing down to ease aching legs and Levi murmured his thanks, tasty lunch nibbled with demure bites whilst Erwin attacked his ravenously. In between inhaling the sandwich, Erwin chattered about the new business venture, excited and full of vitality, his enjoyment watched by studious grey eyes.

Levi soaked up the atmosphere, let Erwin's enthusiasm carry his own stagnant life into something more interesting and he nodded, agreeing with certain points and challenging others.

"I'll be viewing it tomorrow. See if it's as bad as I think out back."

"Why would it be bad? Erwin, if it's going to suck all the money from your bank account…?"

"It won't be horrendous, Levi. Just…maybe not to my taste."

"Get the essentials first. Frills can wait."

"I suppose." Erwin smiled, glad to have someone to bounce ideas off, someone more down to Earth and he mentally moved on, paper bag crumpled as his sandwich had been obliterated swiftly. "I'll need to speak to Jean. See if he's interested. No one knows breakfast like he does. Maybe I'll suggest part time at first, he might not want to give up his kiosk just yet, they're like gold dust and if he's unsure on profits then having both could work for…"

"Just mention it, Erwin." Levi interrupted kindly, his voice steady and rich. "Don't base the whole operation on him. You can open for business as it is, then figure out wages once you're up and running."

Yet again, Erwin beamed and bobbed his head, finger pointing over.

"You're good, Levi. Not letting me get carried away. Thanks."

"Well, I like to think I'm good at solving problems."

The arch of Levi's brow screamed mischief, the first mention of yesterday's exchange dropping perfectly from his curled lips. He shrugged, final mouthful taken and Levi brushed his hands together to rid himself of non-existent crumbs, keeping cool despite the pounding in his chest. Erwin flushed, likely all over if the colour of his neck was anything to go by, words bumbling out.

"Yes…you…I mean…I…"

His tongue seemed useless and thick, brain frozen in time and Erwin stood quickly, glancing around for a distraction, anything to tear him away from the almost serious silver which held him in place, that sparkling stare making him far more excited than a set of eyes really should. When Levi rose too, Erwin felt trapped, body pinned against the counter, a prisoner in his own booth but in the most delicious way possible, the almost purred reply going straight to his crotch.

"Was it cheesy? Yea. Did I like it? Fuck yes."

"You…you did?"

"Yes. Somehow you can pull shit like that off, Erwin."

They stood practically touching, shared breaths quick and anticipating more. Erwin closed his eyes, steadied himself before looking once more into Levi's captivating gaze, determination in his strongly set jaw and he reached out, palm cupping a pale cheek as his thumb ran soft semi-circles beneath Levi's lower eyelid.

"I can?"

"Yea."

"Thanks."

Levi's hands found their place easily at Erwin's waist, insistently pulling the pair together and he stared up, impatience written all over his face. Erwin smiled at the petulant little pout; due to shyness over last night's conversation, they hadn't shared any proper physical contact as yet, a fact which clearly left Levi disgruntled. His fingers dug in, needy and searching, almost possessive as he became used to the bumps beneath his touch, hip bones and muscles mapped out. Levi looked forwards at the chest in plain view, lifting one hand to poke gently into the small space created between taught button holes, the pad of his finger circling on bare skin.

Something about Erwin's shirts had mesmerised Levi a long time ago, their tight fit revealing enough back then but now he wanted more, could delve further and without glancing up, he undid one strained button. Erwin held his breath, hands settled on Levi's shoulders and he allowed whatever exploration Levi desired, closed his eyes and concentrated on not passing out.

Soft warm lips landed on his exposed flesh, a shivering whine slipping from Erwin's mouth before he could stop it and he gripped a bit harder to Levi for support, knees weak and unreliable. The puff of a miniscule laugh washed over Erwin, hot and delicate.

"Levi…"

Erwin's voice was ragged, uncertain and aroused all at once and he shifted his hold, thick fingers twining lightly through black hair. Levi moaned quietly, applying more kisses to the available slice of Erwin's gorgeous body and he grew quickly dissatisfied with the current access, mind blank and filled with nothing but the man standing so close. He inhaled the scent of cologne and a searingly hot summer's day, nuzzling his nose against Erwin's chest.

"More."

It wasn't a request, merely a murmured statement and Levi released another button, then another, working upwards until he had a larger canvas, mouth trailing to the left. The moment was sensual and gentle, wet patches springing up over Erwin's flesh in Levi's sedate wake and Erwin let out a shuddering sigh, small hands grabbing at his waist again. Levi drew him near, nudged his face into all he possibly could before licking a circle around Erwin's nipple, pulling a croak from above.

Levi sighed, still not entirely sure what he was doing and he pressed his cheek to Erwin's chest, arms looping round into a hug. He stood there thoroughly contented, his intentions turning from sexually charged to craving proximity, a small smile gracing his lips and eyes closed. Erwin took a second to adjust to the change in pace, initially surprised but he recovered well, arms wrapping around Levi and palm holding his head in place.

They remained that way for a while, skin on skin, Levi's mind drifting to wonder whether he'd ever held someone like this before, whether he'd ever felt the sense of deep comfort currently rushing through his brain.

Erwin didn't want to break the spell either, buried his nose in Levi's hair and enjoyed the togetherness, let it continue - Levi clearly needed this and sometimes there didn't have to be a reason. Sometimes it was fine to just experience and feel.  

Time passed slowly, halted almost as the two stood with closed eyes, caught up in their own silent contemplation. Levi flinched first, suddenly aware of leaning all of his weight against Erwin…bare chested Erwin, Erwin who'd been fully clothed until he'd pulled his buttons apart, warm Erwin…Erwin who had to pick up his father…

"Shit. Sorry."

Regardless of his apology Levi didn't move away, kept his arms hugging tight and cheek firmly planted on Erwin's body.

"S'ok." Erwin's sleepy reply mirrored Levi's drowsiness and it took him a short while to realise what was happening, a quiet gasp filling his lungs. "Oh."

They parted, Levi's cheek pink and hair dishevelled as he tried to explain his actions, hands worrying at his own belt loops whilst Erwin buttoned his shirt.

"I…that…"

"It's ok, Levi." Erwin smiled down, a blush standing proudly on his skin and a skipping beat in his heart. "I'll...um…I'll text you? If that's alright?"

"Yes!" Levi wished he could take back the enthusiasm which had pushed his croaked affirmation out and he attempted to regain an air of calm. "Yea, yea whatever."

Erwin's grin was hidden as he turned to collect his belongings, safe in the knowledge that Levi's grumble held no malice.

~~~~~~

The home was exactly the same. All the same furniture, fittings, personal effects. The same smells and sounds, a ticking clock adding its serene steady beat to the otherwise silent abode. Night was closing in and Erwin sat by his father's bedside, watching as the still frail man shifted and got comfortable, a flash of red cord peeking out beneath the covers. He'd worn the alarm grudgingly, complained that he didn't need any extra help and attention, asked that the nurse didn't come in.

But it had to be this way, Erwin knew it and his Dad knew it, however it also brought a problem into their lives which hadn't existed before. Role reversal and a slight amount of resentment.

Erwin sighed and took a weak and wrinkled hand in his, engulfing it and squeezing tight. They'd never had a falling out, not really, and it chilled Erwin to his core to imagine that their relationship could be permanently damaged.

_All because I gave him that medicine. What a stupid fucking thing to do._

No matter what anyone said or how many times they said it, Erwin harboured a deep guilt that he doubted would ever disappear fully. He was aware of what such thoughts could do when left to grow and fester, painfully aware, yet it was virtually impossible to claw himself out for long enough to see that truth.

In five minutes the nurse would arrive, administer drugs and sort his father out for the night, all things that Erwin should be doing but he couldn't, not unless he became a full time carer and he knew that would never work.

An awkward quiet had settled over them like a heavy shroud, suffocating and sucking the colour out of their surroundings. At first it had been ok, his Dad full of gallows humour, joking with the hospital staff that wheeled him inside…perhaps the enormity of his situation had sunk in now?

Three knocks preceded five seconds of silence and the nurse let herself in, privacy timed by a wrist watch. She wore a friendly smile, breezing through and laying a warm hand on Erwin's shoulder.

"Best get going, son. He needs his rest."

"Yes, I suppose." Erwin looked up, sullen and withdrawn as the eyes which had been pinned on him from the bed now slid to the side, ignoring his presence. "Bye Dad. See you tomorrow?"

A grunted huff was the reply and Erwin stood, releasing his hold and swallowing back the acidic tang of remorse. It's only temporary, he told himself. Just needs time to adjust. It will be fine. Has to be…

Erwin didn't remember getting home, had forgotten his habitual route in the dark and he lay back in bed, soul crushed. Sleep wouldn't come easy, too many thoughts and what-ifs causing Erwin to turn restlessly this way and that. The past few days had been exhausting, emotionally charged and long, yet still he couldn't drift off.

A brief baking session had taken place earlier, lacklustre motions just doing what had to be done - Erwin wonderd if his customers would taste depression in every bite tomorrow.

~~~~~~

New tyres raced across the asphalt, a shiny black frame gleaming in morning sun that burnt the nape of Levi's neck already, cruel rays prickling his skin. The bike had been mended and upgraded yesterday, ready for action despite him still being on sick leave at a job which might not be his only source of income for much longer.

Levi let the clammy breeze wash over him and he realised that he'd missed this, legs powering and lungs worked to the maximum. Deft turns avoided lose paving slabs or errant pebbles, anything that might injure the pristine metalwork and Levi rounded the last corner, a dull throb growing in his shin.

Perhaps working at a more sedate pace would be good after all, he mused. More beneficial to his health in general too and Levi shrugged away the itchy doubt which told him to turn Erwin's offer down. Part of him understood the pitfalls of working with one's partner, and such a new one at that, however Levi also felt a strong sense of belonging - it could be youthful exuberance, inexperienced enthusiasm or maybe, just maybe, for once he'd found something… _right_.

Of course it was a lot to ask of the world, a world which had done nothing for Levi up until now so he clung to a moderate amount of cynicism, guarding himself against potential hurt.

Levi cruised, no need for pedals as the wooden booth came into view, hopping off his bike to finish the journey in a pedestrian area, wheels spinning and feet rushing. He'd not heard from Erwin last night, hadn't expected to either - taking his Dad home was an important and likely tiring task so Levi had let him be, scolded himself every time he'd reached for his phone.

"Erwin?"

The shutter wasn't up yet, a few minutes until opening and Levi pushed the door gently, peeking into the unusually quiet, dark kiosk.

"Erwin? You in here?"

A clunk and a sigh gave away Erwin's position. The floor.

"Why are you sitting down there?"

"Oh Levi…it's…"

Levi didn't wait for any more explanation and closed the door behind him, turned the lock and joined Erwin where he sat in amongst boxed pastries and equipment. There wasn't much that Levi knew about comfort, mostly had been told in the past to man-up and get over it, so he just acted with his feelings.

Despite the size difference, Levi seemed to be able to scoop Erwin into his arms with ease, as if he'd shrunk from sorrow and Levi guided Erwin's head onto his chest, kept him there for however long was needed.

Mild sobs poured from Erwin's mouth but his eyes remained dry - he'd surely used up his supply of saltwater last night, his pillow stained with tears and agony.

"I don't know what to do, Levi. He won't talk to me. Won't even look at me."

"It'll pass, Erwin."

"What if it doesn't? What if he blames me?"

Levi had no answer to that and nuzzled into blonde hair instead, holding Erwin carefully like a china doll, afraid to break him further. All he could offer was physical succour and for now, that was all Erwin needed. Solace from a warm body.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took way too long. Also if I ever get everything I plan into this fic, it's going to be stupidly long...


	18. Disclosure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi
> 
> Tags have been updated but will also say here that there is a tw for mention of eating disorders, thank you.

There were knocks and tentative calls from outside, knuckles rapped on the shutters but nothing came from within. Levi didn't have the energy to shout some scathing remarks or hiss expletives under his breath, simply concentrated instead on transferring every single iota of strength he had at his disposal. Erwin had crumbled in his arms, hands clutching tight to his faded black shorts and prone form laying curled in Levi's body.

Muted sighs and quiet deathly moans pushed into Levi's chest as Erwin struggled to maintain sanity, the image of his father turning away having become painted on his memory. He'd never be able to forget it, the distaste and borderline anger…

Fists balled at dark fabric, fingers wrenching to find a way to escape such distress and Erwin let himself burrow further into Levi, his face seeking comfort in the scent.

Levi held on with one arm, limb rising in hitched spasms along with Erwin's strained sobs and he trailed soft fingertips through blonde hair, applying the same methods as he had done at the hospital. He knew there was nothing he could say. No words would ever make this disappear - Levi was agonisingly aware of what losing a loved one felt like, could still taste the emptiness and desolation. Some days would go by without event, normal life progressing as usual and then the realisation would hit, leaving him empty and alone.

Yet for Erwin…he was also losing someone, but not from disease, disaster or old age.

Their embraces had a fluctuating tendancy, travelling through lust, desire and affection to consolation and protection, a closeness mostly seen perhaps in longer relationships, however theirs had not begun during conventional times. What they'd experienced surpassed tradition.

Another knock finally made Levi twitch but not with annoyance and he patted gently at Erwin's back, leaning down to whisper.

"You want to go home?"

Erwin froze, his actions suddenly laid bare for him to see and he shook his head, snapping out of the evil stupor.

_What am I doing? I can't lose because of this. I can't just lie here on the floor. It's going to be different this time. Dad's not dead. I can fix it._

Solemn recollections spun and reeled within Erwin's mind, memories of the past flickering in nauseous bright flashes as he remembered what he'd done, how he'd tried to cope with his mother's passing. Back then, even at that young age, Erwin realised how much he needed control, a tight rein held on life while he attempted to make sense of it all. He couldn't change what had happened, had zero input or influence in her demise and that scared Erwin into seeking power over something else.

Erwin sat up, startling Levi at his swift change in position and he gazed into his palms, now cross legged and looking like a schoolboy.

"I need to tell you something."

"Ok." Levi mirrored his posture, chilled by Erwin's deep tone and he made a vague suggestion. "Here?"

The booth was hardly sound-proof but Erwin felt safe here, at home and he nodded.

"Yea. I can be quiet."

"Alright."

Levi listened with growing sympathy as Erwin recounted his mother's death and the awful circumstances, every detail he knew about the fire and the incorrectly stored chemicals, how no one at the factory had survived.

"It was all over the news but I didn't watch."

"No Erwin, no one needs that." Levi reached out, a trembling hand resting on Erwin's knee. "I'm so sorry."

"Thanks." He sniffed once, a sarcastic laugh following. "I didn't know what to do, Levi. What to think or say. I just needed to take back control." Erwin swallowed down his sense of shame and continued. "So I did."

"Erwin, you don't have to carry on."

"No, no. I want to."

They locked stares for a second, nodding briefly before Levi offered a repeated short response.

"Ok."

He could feel Erwin's nerves radiating and Levi wished he could take away the pain of whatever Erwin was going through, kiss it better and bury his sadness deep underground where it could no longer cause hurt. But he also saw the healing power of sharing - Levi opening up about his heart condition had been difficult yet therapeutic and he resolved to be there for Erwin, as had recently occured vice versa.

"As you can probably tell, I like to know what's coming. All my plans for the store, making produce for the next day…I have to know, Levi. But with mum…no one could have known." Erwin looked up, a wisdom in sad blue eyes that said he understood Levi knew this sudden loss too. "I thought I was taking my life back. I had to. Please believe that."

Levi squeezed Erwin's knee, telling him that he was there and did believe him, a small consoling gesture and Erwin sighed, head down and jaw clenched.

"I started to get…intense about food. What was in those pre-packed meals, the nutritional values of everything, what the vitamin count was and how bad all these toxins are for your body." He smiled, a hollow expression tugging at Erwin's lips. "But I don't do things by halves, never have. It consumed me, Levi."

Erwin explained it all, holding nothing back as he let his past pour out in bursts of speech - how he would plan a week's worth of eating in advance, refuse what his dad could haphazardly scrape together if it was deemed unhealthy, rather starve himself than put 'dirty' food in his system. It was linked to a fear of his own mortality too, an obsession born from having a command over something along with the need to extend his life span, even as a young teen.

His father put it down to grief, a foggy struggle that he was battling with too, so Erwin's true issue went unchecked for quite some time, two bereaved relatives fumbling through each day like ships cast out on a stormy sea.

"I lost weight. A lot of weight. My nightmares about Dad dying got worse too. I put more effort into reading packets and researching the best food than my school work." Erwin finally met Levi's solemn gaze, didn't shy away from the cloudy grey. "The teachers stepped in eventually. Had to. I don't blame Dad, he lost his wife, his love, and ended up with a son to look after all on his own. Either he didn't see it or didn't want to. But I never blamed him."

Erwin was emphatic about that point, fists formed vehemently.

"I was in therapy for many years. For the eating, the nightmares and depression. It helped Levi, it really helped." Erwin smiled again, a genuine one now. "I mean, you can tell I'm much better by how fast I eat sandwiches, right?"

Levi snorted, nodding with a slight smile of his own.

"Yea, I can tell. I'm glad, Erwin."

"It's never going to go away completely. It is who I am. But now I channel that energy into my business. The exercising is really all that's physically left of my disorder."

Keeping healthy took the form of weights and work-outs, still perhaps on the side of excessive at times, however now Erwin could usually see when he became engulfed and climbed his way out. Usually. He took Levi's hand, holding tight and examining the milky skin in his palm as he bobbed his grip up and down slowly, giving weight to the next request.

"I'll tell you soon, Levi. What to look for. How to know if I'm spiralling. Would you be ok with that?"

Earnest cobalt shimmered in Levi's line of vision, guarded against potential dismissal and he softened, grasping back into Erwin's hand.

"Of course."

They sat for a while, exchanging an aura of shared knowledge and Erwin felt uplifted for having told Levi the truth - he hadn't been this open with anyone other than his father, but Levi was safety. Acceptance. Home. Erwin snapped upright, signalling a shift from the discussion and into reality as he spoke loudly, relief seeping out of him in exhausting waves.

"Better get the shutter up!"

Nervous adrenaline had painted Erwin's skin into a blotchy pattern of reds, the chemical leaving his body to be replaced with fatigue but he had to carry on, another half-day ahead of him. Closing would come early again so he could visit his Dad, hopefully with better results than yesterday and Erwin set about serving as fast as possible, racking up the income he would lose out on later.

~~~~~~

The awkward afternoon had turned into a pleasant evening, two men sitting in front of the television and complaining about the programme, just like they used to do. It'd taken Erwin's father a few hours to lighten up, initially rather skittish and closed off, but he'd grown more jovial as time went on.

Mugs of hot cocoa were cradled in their hands, no need for the warmth other than to provide comfort and a set of commercials started up, giving a break from the badly written show. Erwin moved to stand, take the cups to the small kitchen area but a gentle voice said otherwise, his body tensing at the words.

"I'm sorry, son."

He sounded so weak, so out of character that Erwin could easily have believed that it was someone else speaking, frailty not being one of his Dad's usual traits and he trod carefully, chose a tone of breezy normality.

"What for? You didn't write the script."

"I know what you're doing Erwin, but you don't have to. Not for me."

"Doing?"

Erwin stared straight ahead, avoided eye contact and kept his face contorted into what he hoped looked like someone who was A-Okay, fine and dandy, on top of the world. He failed.

"Deflecting, Erwin. You forget how well I can read you."

"I don't know what you…" Erwin slumped, giving up the pretence. "Ok."

His short defeat allowed further discussion and Erwin's father turned off the TV with a flick of the remote, unaffected arm favoured over the still sickly one and they remained looking forwards, side by side yet so far apart.

"Like I said son, I'm sorry. Sorry for my behaviour. I don't fully remember it but I do know what I'm feeling now. I don't want to lie to you."

Erwin swallowed too hard, pain shooting down his throat as he whispered darkly.

"Then don't lie."

"I hate this. The alarm, the constant observation, depending on people. All of it."

"I know, Dad. I didn't mean to…"

"But," he began, cutting Erwin off with his more expected authority. "It's not your fault. And it was unfair of me to act like I did last night. You didn't deserve that." He shuffled in his seat, painfully adjusting a body that had long been disobeying orders well before today. "I won't say that I'll ever be ok with this. I've been through some shit and come out fighting, but now I can't fight past my limitations and its hard, son. Really really hard."

He rarely swore and Erwin's head snapped round at the utterance, saw complete desolation in his father's stance and he put his cup down, sliding over to scoop the older man into a strong hug which lasted for what felt like days.

~~~~~~

The earlier reconciliation had warmed Erwin, lifted his spirits and started to pave the way towards healing that particular wound, yet it also added to his tiredness, days of being on edge now crashing down on him. Hospital. Confessions. Fear. Relief. They joined forces and beat Erwin's energy to a pulp but he couldn't stop, far too much to do in so little time that it made his mind spin just to think about it all.

Pastries lay baking in the oven, papers strewn across the coffee table, sweats from his workout still in place as a shower had been struck from the list, Erwin's red face glowing from effort. He glared down at figures and scribbled notes, scored some out and added new ones, his business plan coming together.

Before visiting his father he'd viewed the café premises alone, in hindsight perhaps an erroneous move. Levi would have grounded him, stopped the knee-jerk acceptance of renting out the store but Erwin had been so excited, so goddamn eager that he took it straight away, signed the contract with a smile that meant more than just an autograph. Looking at his penned scrawl had reminded him of Levi, the time he'd found out Erwin's name after weeks of trying to decipher the scribble.

Weeks.

Or more?

How long had Levi been interested? Wanted his name?

As long as he had wanted Levi's?

Those questions had to wait as the man in question strode through from the kitchen, wet hands wiped on his black shirt.

"About ten minutes. Give or take."

"Thanks."

Erwin sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time today, worn to the bone yet unable to rest until his impulsive actions were paid in full. Levi had sent a message two hours ago, offering some aid if needed due to 'having nothing better to do' and Erwin took the offensively kind gesture willingly, catching Levi up on his day's events.

"Your numbers are wrong."

Levi flopped to the couch, pointing over at the multitude of crossings out and reworks, finger tapping gently on one incorrect entry. Erwin rose to the edge of the sofa with a grunt, body creaking and protesting as he scowled down, lips moving silently as he counted swiftly.

"Damn."

He'd missed an important part, his eyes blurry and swimming in and out of focus while he tried to make amendments, actually coming up with a more healthy end-figure.

Levi watched as the last of Erwin's strength seemed to leave his body, the pencil dropped with a clunk and he nudged sideways, brushing against Erwin's knee with his own as he spoke almost ashamedly.

"Have you eaten?"

He didn't want to sound chiding or offensive, Erwin's past but ever present problems still raw in his mind - in honesty, Levi didn't really know what to say for the best and prayed he hadn't put his foot in it, held his breath tightly inside his chest.

"Yea, at Dad's."

The exhale sounded loud in Levi's ears but he let it out as quietly as possible, resolving to do his own reading later to avoid pestering Erwin further.

"Good. You need to rest, Erwin."

"The croissants…"

"…can be taken out of the oven by me. I promise I won't fucking drop them."

"I know, Levi. Thank you. I just need to finish this off?"

Levi huffed but let him be, sweeping away to keep watch on the last crucial minutes of cooking time. He was learning every day, not just about baking but about Erwin, a man who until recently had just been an imaginary companion. When Levi thought back to all of the lewd things he'd craved, the times he'd taken care of his arousal with Erwin's body firmly in mind and that name on his lips…

_God, what a creep._

But then, wasn't it Erwin who made the first moves? Asked him out, walked him home, invited him into his apartment…

_I wonder if he's ever thought of me that way before? Made himself come because of me, all hot and shaking and…?_

Levi shivered and bit his bottom lip harshly, killing away the rising lust. He couldn't stand here in someone else's kitchen with a boner whilst they sat in the next room, oblivious to how much Levi yearned to have Erwin's hand around his cock instead of his own, teasing and coaxing sordid sounds from his dry throat.

The timer rang and Levi slammed his fist on it, sexual frustration dripping from his core as he snarled against the heated air from the oven, pastries brought out to cool on a rack. He could put his blush down to the cooking, at least and Levi washed up, strolling back through to announce the safety of Erwin's products.

His words got caught and dissipated into a faint whisper as he stopped by the doorway, Erwin's prone form sprawled across the couch in what must have been a very uncomfortable pose. Tiny snores came from his open mouth, hand resting on his chest that rose sedately in rhythmic pulses and the pencil had fallen to the floor, a final sign of defeat. In summary, Erwin looked adorable.

Mouse-like steps took Levi closer, his voice soft and testing.

"Erwin? Oi. Erwin?"

A small prod did nothing either and Levi surmised that Erwin was completely out for the count, nothing would rouse him now and Levi glanced around for a blanket. Even in this weather, he felt a deep need to wrap Erwin up in something and Levi shuffled on the spot, afraid to go searching in a home that was not his.

_I'm sure Erwin won't mind. I can't exactly get him into fucking bed, can I?_

Levi eyed the gym, its equipment not only chiding his skinny chest now. It held something deeper, a place in which Erwin could potentially become lost and he swept past, briefly noting how tidy it was. The bedroom was next and he poked his head through, scanning over the less neat area and spying a dark blue blanket scrunched at the bottom of the bed. He snatched it up, back to the couch in a flash as he laid the fabric gently across Erwin's body, carefully tucking him in and Levi brushed some stray blonde hairs away, smoothing it down.

This left Levi in a bit of a position. He couldn't leave. Having no idea on how Erwin's locks worked, Levi was essentially trapped unless he could stomach the potential of Erwin being broken into at night. That wasn't an option and he stood rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do.

"Fuck."

First things first and he padded to the kitchen, ready to tub the croissants. Levi opened cupboards, checked drawers, finally coming across the containers he needed. Once completed, Levi poured himself a glass of water and returned to the living room, curling up on the remaining sofa space and taking his phone out. Levi googled for two hours, soothed by snores whilst he read all he could on the subject of Erwin's struggle with food, educating himself to the hilt.

It was tough at times, harrowing at others and Levi turned his screen off, eyes tired and heavy. He glanced at Erwin in pity, a look he'd never let Erwin see and Levi sighed, making for what he presumed was the bathroom.

Levi relieved himself and had a perfunctory wash before methodically moving through the apartment, closing all windows and locking them with their PVC latch, much safer than his wooden ones at home. Once happy that he'd covered all bases, Levi tackled the front door, basic mechanisms in place and he tightened the latches, no need for keys and then he checked them all again, making sure they were secure.

That left nothing else but to turn the lights off and take his position on the couch at Erwin's feet again, blanket pulled to his knees and far too much information on his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to kaguneko for some priceless assistance.


End file.
